Beg Me: Part Thirteen
http://www.interracialerotica.net/erotica/articles/132/1/Beg-Me-Part-Thirteen-/Page1.html
By Tracy Ames
Published on November 3, 2009
Four days after returning home from Iowa, and Mark was back in the office hard at work while Sydney took the week off. She was sleeping more that normal; she had only briefly gone into her office once, and she’d only taken the most minor interest in developments with the Doms. This wasn’t Sydney. Sydney was a narcissistic ball-busting task master. This new Sydney was reflective, an observer who’d even managed smile with her staff. One by one they approached Mark for advice.
Mark assured them she was fine when in truth he was as concerned as they were. Her temperament was lethargic at best, sending hours curled in bed listening to her mother’s records. Whatever she was experiencing was singular and Mark could only soothe her, but there was little need. Sydney wasn’t unhappy. She was calm—too calm
“Sir,” Greta interrupted Mark in thought. Master’s Charles and Lee are here to see you.”
“Show them in,” Mark scratched his head and greeted them. “Gentlemen, how can I help you?
“It’s about Sydney,” Charles began. “I received a call from Natalie…”
“Who?”
“I’m sorry, #1,” Charles corrected himself. “Sydney has pushed a weeks worth of clients in our laps.”
“You say that like its bad thing” Mark snorted.
“For Sydney it is,” Lee added. “Clients equaled money and Sydney seems to be concerned with neither. She’s generous but not this generous and when it came to her clients, she was a pillar of professionalism. This isn’t normal behavior.”
Mark drew a heavy breath and exhaled. “You’re right. She’s not acting like herself. She’s exhausted and needs time to relax. I would appreciate if you guys would pick up the slack for a while. What about the girls? Have they come to you?”
“Yes, they mentioned that they’d spoken to you also,” Charles answered.
“What did you take away from the conversation?” Mark leaned forward still puzzled by their interaction.
“Women! They fretted over some dress or something. I don’t know!” Charles shrugged in defeat. “The most I gathered was Sydney was showing a lack focus during her dress fitting.”
“So,” Lee frowned.
“For Sydney this is not normal. She’d designed most of her gowns over the years, she a control freak. Now she’s given the responsibility to Natalie, who stated Sydney stood rooted in place, sort of dazed out at her last appointment with her dress maker. Moreover, they were concerned with her change in routine. Sydney had always run her day to a strict timetable. With her sudden disinterest with everything going on around, the girls have become unnerved. She’d begun doing minor things for herself. She no longer relied on them. According to #4, she has even been gracious, saying “Please and thank you.”
Mark leaned backwards and said in dead-panned mocking fashion at the girl’s experience. “Shocking. Maybe a little bit of the Midwest rubbed off on her.”
“This why I can’t have more than one female sub at a time,” Lee chimes in. “I would go ape-shit.”
“I wouldn’t discount what they’re saying,” Charles came to their defense. “Who knows Sydney better that they do?”
Mark and Lee conceded defeat.
“We’d better keep and eye on her. Charles, how long can you stay in town?” Mark asked.
“For as long as you need me.”
“Lee?”
“I’ll be here,”
“Good,” Mark rose and gestured towards the door. “Now if you would excuse me.” They turn to leave.
“Mark, do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you alone.” Charles nodded to Lee.
“I have a few minutes,” This is the conversation Mark had been waiting for. Both men retook their seats. “Let me guess. This is about Natalie.”
Charles’s eyes narrowing suspiciously. How did you know?”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you’re into her.”
It’s more than that. I love her. We’ve been in love for the past eight years and we don’t know what to do or who to turn to.”
“And you want me to intercede on your behalf with Sydney?” Mark settled back. “You’re taking a huge risk by coming to me with this. Natalie is Sydney’s primary submissive and you’re Sydney’s heir apparent. Charles, that’s big.”
“Which is why I’ve came to you. You’re the most powerful Dom out there. I’ve seen your work.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“I know you organized all of this. The leak. That was you.” Charles played his last card well.
Mark nodded with a smirk. “You figured it out.”
“Oh course. You’re too smart to allow a leak to happen. You’re untouchable.”
“Flatter will get you nowhere.”
“I never suspected it would. But I know you don’t appreciate being pushed around and told what to do,” Charles gave a half cocked grin. “And like you said, I’m the heir apparent, not because it was given to me but because I’ve earned it—you would never leave me in the hands on the lower Doms especially when your woman is involved. I should be able to do whatever I damn well please.”
Mark burst out laughing. “You’re an arrogant fuck aren’t you?”
“I learned from the best. I’ve seen Sydney Cummings work miracles.”
“She put you through hell didn’t she?”
Charles squeezed his temples is aggravation. “Oh God yeah! Five years of pure hell but I’d do it over again. Your woman has skills. Has she shown you the trick with the waist cuffs?”
“Oh yeah! We’re using that trick often,” Mark shook his head. “What is it about her that gets inside of your head? You’ll give her whatever she wants.”
“Don’t bother trying to figure it out,” Charles rattled off. “Dude, you’re wasting your time. She’s like…magic or something. She broke Lee!”
“She broke me!” Mark pointed to himself. “It’s her freckin eyes. She flashes those things and you’ll give her anything she wants.”
“Do you see what I’m going through? Natalie has the effect on me. I don’t know to stop loving her.”
“Don’t worry about. You don’t have to stop loving her. I’ve already talked to Sydney about your relationship. I knew you’d come to me sooner or later.
“You’re an arrogant fuck aren’t you?”
“Yep! I have to look out for my woman’s interest.”
******
Sydney lay in bed staring off into space. She’d been there for days on, or what felt like days….the days and night were beginning to blur, her mother’s voice pouring from the record player. Her past mistakes played before her: Her stubbornness, the ill-treatment of her assistants, the dogged tenacity, the selfishness, and her fear of failure. There here all there…her constant companions.
They were there when no one else was. There clothed her and made the loneliness bearable. Over the last were days there had been little that would have provoked her to rise from bed but today there was a force inside of her…around her that pleaded for her to “get moving”. Get moving, rang in her ears. Get moving, filled her thoughts. But she ignored the calling, simply replying she wasn’t ready. She had to say goodbye to her old friends….for good.
“Mom,” She called to herself and drew a long breath and waited. There was no answer. “You don’t have to reply but I need to talk to you. I’m lost, mom. I’m lost and afraid in ways I never knew existed. For the first time I don’t what my future holds. I don’t know what’s coming around the corner---I have no control…and you know what? It feels damn good,” she exhaled and shook her head.
“I’m letting go, mom. I can’t hold on anymore, I tried but I can’t. I’ve met someone, he’s name is Mark. He’s not perfect; he tends to be stubborn but who isn’t. He was estranged from his family and I didn’t want him to end up in my situation, alone without a family so I helped reunite them.
I went to Iowa for his sake but being there with his family helped me get over my trust issues. They’re not the ideal family; they fight, they have their problems but at the end of the day, they’re still a family. And through them, I’ve learned what forgiveness really means. I could preach forgiveness to Mark but in my own life I failed to apply it. I realize that just because someone hurts you, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They may not have known they’ve hurt you. You have to be vulnerably, to let them know how I feel.. I thought vulnerability and forgiveness was another way of saying weak but momma, I was wrong. There is power in laying it all out there and allowing people to accept you for who you are.
Mark told me that I wasn’t broken, I just hadn’t healed,” she chuckled. “He was right, I’m not broken. I have these little hairline fractions that require attention but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with the gauze of time. And you know what, I’m enjoying fixing them. I’ve discovered that I’m strong. I’m stronger than I even imagined and I don’t have to hide anymore. I wanted to feel the pain. I felt my heart fold over itself, momma. I welcome it,” Sydney laughed through her tears. I’ve never felt kind of freedom. I’ve never been so happy. It feels like I’m coming full circle and it’s not because of Mark. I don’t need him. I thought I did but I don’t.
He didn’t, that is, he doesn’t complete me. I don’t see myself in him. What he had done is turned on the light and made it possible for me to see myself and I’m thankful for that everyday,” She felt a warm encircle her. “When I wake up and see him, it reminds me of how far I’ve come and, to me, that’s the best gift anyone could ask for. I might stumble and I might fall. I might get lost and frightened along the way but if I can handle being alone for those years, then I’m ready for whatever life throws at me next.” She paused, not entirely sure how to approach the next subject.
“Sydney,” Mark came to the door. “Everyone is downstairs waiting on you.” He stopped; there was someone in the room. “I’ll tell them you’ll be down shortly.
Mark slowly realized it was the same presence what followed him…the presence urged him to be patient with her. It wasn’t her father; his presence was thick and heavy. This presence was gently and spoke without speaking. It told him that whatever she was going through would pass; she wouldn’t be given more than she could bear, and she would be comforted.
“Thank you,” she turned to Mark watching him until he left and then turned her attention back to her mom. Mark’s wants children but I’m afraid…that is, I was afraid. I’m open to the possibility of children, but not anytime soon.”
“You have no choice in the matter,” a voice said sweetly.
“It’s you,” Sydney covered her mouth smiling. “I didn’t think I’d hear your voice again.”
“Why not? I never left. You closed yourself off from me. You had so many walls built up around you, Sydney.”
“I was afraid of disappointing you.”
“You could never disappoint me. I’m so…,” her mother stopped speaking as Sydney giggled slightly. “Why are you laughing?”
“Your voice sounds just like mine. It’s not at all how I remember it.”
“You were so young when I came here. I’ve been with you ever step of the way.”
“You were the presence we felt in Iowa--our last night there.” Sydney gasp lightly.
“Yes,” her mother said brightly. “I was there when during your first run in with Margret. I have to hand it to you, you handled yourself well.”
Sydney sat upright in the bed; her eyes darted around the room. “You saw that?”
“Yes, I did. Did you ever wonder why you reacted so calmly? The old Sydney would’ve mopped the floor with her.”
“No, I…I didn’t think about it.” she made a small scoffing noise.
“You’re embracing your softer side. Don’t get me wrong, you’re hundred and ten percent Domina, sweetheart, however when tensions rose over dinner and you saw Mark about to attack Margret, you took of a submissive role just long enough for me to slip in and talk to your better sense,” she exhales. “You’re just like your father. I had to work my ass off to calm you down.”
“I felt you. I thought it was daddy. But it was you the whole time.” Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. “You’ve been here for the past few days, weren’t you?”
Her mother spoke gently. “Every step of the way, baby and I’m proud of your for not falling bad on your old habits,” She smoothed Sydney’s cheek. “I know what you’ve been through; it broke my heart but I had to let you go through it alone. I was there.”
“Mom, it was difficult but I’m happy,” she stuttered. “I have new friends and I’m just now realizing that I have a core group of people who genuinely care about me. They’re not self servicing, they care.”
“They do care about, even the one that stabbed you in the back.”
“Ha!” Sydney laughed. “You sound certain of that.”
“I am certain she cares. Your relationship with those girls had been strained and she may have been acting out. But Sydney, you have to accept your responsibility for what’s happened as well. This didn’t happen in a vacuum.”
Sydney dropped her head. “I know, momma but I don’t know what to do with her. I can’t keep her around and loose face nor can I fire her when I know that it was partially my fault.”
“I won’t advise you however you said it yourself, there is power in forgiveness. Talk to Mark; he’s an intelligent man, you make good choice.”
“You think so?”
“I have no doubt. He’s the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with.”
“Mark wants babies, momma”
“And you’ll give them to him.”
Sydney laughed. “Not anytime soon.”
“Sooner than you think.”
Really?” Sydney bit her thumb nail smiling.
“Give it time.”
“Thank you, mom,” New tears pooled in Sydney’s eyes; silence filled the room, louder than words. “I love you. Please don’t leave me now.”
“I love you to. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you but never forget you have Helen and Jane to turn to.”
“I do, don’t I?” Sydney stood and wrapped herself in her robe, feeling lighter than she’d felt in days.
“They’re good people.”
“Yes, they are. Well, I have to be going. Tell daddy that I’ll coming to see him in a few days,” Sydney went towards the bathroom and turned back briefly, gazing around the walls of the room. A sense of peace enveloped her. “Mom.” She called.
“I’m here,”
Sydney smiled. “Just checking.”
“Your father used to do the same thing,” Her mom laughed.
“I know,”
“Sydney, tell Mark that they are looking in the right place and Kenneth will be home soon.”
Sydney drew a deep breath. “Oh my God. Mom…I …can’t tell you what that will mean to Mark; to his family.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said with a smile in her voice. “Now go, get moving. And bring Mark with you the next time come.”
“Will do.”
******
Seeing Sydney with everyone gathered around discussing the latest development with the Doms, she showed some semblance of herself. She seemed to be on the mends.
What Sydney couldn’t figure out was why everyone was staring at her. Every move she made was being analyzed and picked over for any signs of madness. She felt like running from the room screaming just to freak everyone out. That would have surely send #3, whose appearance toggled between glum and pathetic, into open tears. She avoided Sydney’s eye contact and when she couldn’t, she’d quickly looked away.
The atmosphere was more relaxed than normal. For once there was banter and laughter. Sydney was actually beginning to enjoy their continuous chatter. It reminded her of being around Mark’s friends and family. Her eyes beamed. This was all brand new to her. As they talked, slowly the faces of her assistants began to appear. Charles and Lee’s faces had always been there but her assistants were always missing. Her little circle was finally taking shape.
“Drink up,” Mark handed her a cup of tea and took his seat beside her. “So as far as we know, everything is going as planned. No hiccups.”
“We’re fine. All of my Doms are in order. How are yours?” Charles responded.
“Never better,” Mark answered than turned to Lee. “I would like to you remain in town for the time being just in case we need your muscle.”
Lee smiled at Charles with a raised eyebrow.
“Dude, why are you so violent?” Charles burst out laughing along with everyone else.
“I’m not violent!” he shrugged. “I just don’t put up with the same level of bullshit that most people do.”
Sydney covered her mouth laughing. “Lee, you are violent. Out of all my apprentices, you were the most difficult to break,” She turned to Charles. “How long did it take me to break you?”
“Four hours total.”
“You see,” she gestured at Lee. “You took me six hours. Six hours! I could have had you in four but you were so goddamn stubborn!” she chuckled.
“I am European. We’re stronger than you Americans.” He threw his hands up innocently and was met with hiss and laughter. “What? It’s a proven fact that we are stronger.”
“Oh fuck off.” Charles walked to the kitchen to grab another beer.
“Wait Charles, he maybe on to something,” Sydney followed him and teased. “He may be “strong” but little ol’ me…a mere American women, half his size broke him,” she bowed to everyone applause. She turned to Lee grinning from ear to ear. “How many years had you been begging to whip your ass?”
Lee shook his head; he knew he was caught, “Should we be talking about this in the front of our submissives?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. You opened your big mouth,” Mark pulled Sydney down into his arm. “You should know never to talk shit in front of her.”
“I may be under the weather but I’m still your Mistress.” She held up her O-ring like a princess for him to kiss.
“Madame, I won’t gladly bow to you any day,” he kissed her hand with a wink. “I’d better be going. I have to pick up my tux.”
“By yourself?” #4 chimed in to everyone’s surprise. She immediately lowered her head and spoke meekly. “I mean…I’ll go with you since you don’t have any assistants traveling with you. If it pleases my Mistress.”
All eyes fell on Sydney. She more than anyone, was surprised by this outburst. “Um, sure. #2, you’ll go along as well. Natalie and #3, I need your help.”
#2 looked none to happy about playing chaperone for these two but she drudge on like a good submissive as they walked to the door.
“Lee,” Sydney called. “You know the rules. Don’t try to sleep with my girls. I mean it!”
“I promise I won’t try anything with them.” He gave a crooked grin.
Sydney only half way believed him. “Get out of here.” She stood and headed upstairs as he left.
“Is there anything I can get you for, Mistress?” Natalie asked.
“No, I’m going to take a nap. Please be sure the girls dresses are ready. I don’t want to wait until the last minute.”
“Yes, Mistress,” Natalie’s heart twisted in her chest. She passed Charles without a word.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”
“Mistress, can I talk to you for a second?” #3 asked earnestly.
Sydney gave her a long piercing stare.
“Excuse me,” Mark gave Sydney a quick wink as he passed her on his way upstairs.
“No, will call for you when I’m ready to speak with you,” Sydney said coldly turning her back and retreating upstairs. Far too much time had lapsed, and she knew the longer she postponed their conversation, the more painful the wait would be.
#3 stood paralyzed.
For Your Viewing Pleasure...."Beg Me" Part Thirteen
Top Dom/mes, Sydney Cummings, an African-American Goddess and Mark Bryant, a man with a body that was chiseled from a slab of solid hotness, have a score to settle. Who will be the first to beg? With both of their reputations on the line, this is going to be a fight to the very end.
This story is sensual, sexy, and HOT...you've been warned
Top Dom/mes, Sydney Cummings, an African-American Goddess and Mark Bryant, a man with a body that was chiseled from a slab of solid hotness, have a score to settle. Who will be the first to beg? With both of their reputations on the line, this is going to be a fight to the very end.
This story is sensual, sexy, and HOT...you've been warned
Beg Me: Part Thirteen
Four days after returning home from Iowa, and Mark was back in the office hard at work while Sydney took the week off. She was sleeping more that normal; she had only briefly gone into her office once, and she’d only taken the most minor interest in developments with the Doms. This wasn’t Sydney. Sydney was a narcissistic ball-busting task master. This new Sydney was reflective, an observer who’d even managed smile with her staff. One by one they approached Mark for advice.
Mark assured them she was fine when in truth he was as concerned as they were. Her temperament was lethargic at best, sending hours curled in bed listening to her mother’s records. Whatever she was experiencing was singular and Mark could only soothe her, but there was little need. Sydney wasn’t unhappy. She was calm—too calm
“Sir,” Greta interrupted Mark in thought. Master’s Charles and Lee are here to see you.”
“Show them in,” Mark scratched his head and greeted them. “Gentlemen, how can I help you?
“It’s about Sydney,” Charles began. “I received a call from Natalie…”
“Who?”
“I’m sorry, #1,” Charles corrected himself. “Sydney has pushed a weeks worth of clients in our laps.”
“You say that like its bad thing” Mark snorted.
“For Sydney it is,” Lee added. “Clients equaled money and Sydney seems to be concerned with neither. She’s generous but not this generous and when it came to her clients, she was a pillar of professionalism. This isn’t normal behavior.”
Mark drew a heavy breath and exhaled. “You’re right. She’s not acting like herself. She’s exhausted and needs time to relax. I would appreciate if you guys would pick up the slack for a while. What about the girls? Have they come to you?”
“Yes, they mentioned that they’d spoken to you also,” Charles answered.
“What did you take away from the conversation?” Mark leaned forward still puzzled by their interaction.
“Women! They fretted over some dress or something. I don’t know!” Charles shrugged in defeat. “The most I gathered was Sydney was showing a lack focus during her dress fitting.”
“So,” Lee frowned.
“For Sydney this is not normal. She’d designed most of her gowns over the years, she a control freak. Now she’s given the responsibility to Natalie, who stated Sydney stood rooted in place, sort of dazed out at her last appointment with her dress maker. Moreover, they were concerned with her change in routine. Sydney had always run her day to a strict timetable. With her sudden disinterest with everything going on around, the girls have become unnerved. She’d begun doing minor things for herself. She no longer relied on them. According to #4, she has even been gracious, saying “Please and thank you.”
Mark leaned backwards and said in dead-panned mocking fashion at the girl’s experience. “Shocking. Maybe a little bit of the Midwest rubbed off on her.”
“This why I can’t have more than one female sub at a time,” Lee chimes in. “I would go ape-shit.”
“I wouldn’t discount what they’re saying,” Charles came to their defense. “Who knows Sydney better that they do?”
Mark and Lee conceded defeat.
“We’d better keep and eye on her. Charles, how long can you stay in town?” Mark asked.
“For as long as you need me.”
“Lee?”
“I’ll be here,”
“Good,” Mark rose and gestured towards the door. “Now if you would excuse me.” They turn to leave.
“Mark, do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you alone.” Charles nodded to Lee.
“I have a few minutes,” This is the conversation Mark had been waiting for. Both men retook their seats. “Let me guess. This is about Natalie.”
Charles’s eyes narrowing suspiciously. How did you know?”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you’re into her.”
It’s more than that. I love her. We’ve been in love for the past eight years and we don’t know what to do or who to turn to.”
“And you want me to intercede on your behalf with Sydney?” Mark settled back. “You’re taking a huge risk by coming to me with this. Natalie is Sydney’s primary submissive and you’re Sydney’s heir apparent. Charles, that’s big.”
“Which is why I’ve came to you. You’re the most powerful Dom out there. I’ve seen your work.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“I know you organized all of this. The leak. That was you.” Charles played his last card well.
Mark nodded with a smirk. “You figured it out.”
“Oh course. You’re too smart to allow a leak to happen. You’re untouchable.”
“Flatter will get you nowhere.”
“I never suspected it would. But I know you don’t appreciate being pushed around and told what to do,” Charles gave a half cocked grin. “And like you said, I’m the heir apparent, not because it was given to me but because I’ve earned it—you would never leave me in the hands on the lower Doms especially when your woman is involved. I should be able to do whatever I damn well please.”
Mark burst out laughing. “You’re an arrogant fuck aren’t you?”
“I learned from the best. I’ve seen Sydney Cummings work miracles.”
“She put you through hell didn’t she?”
Charles squeezed his temples is aggravation. “Oh God yeah! Five years of pure hell but I’d do it over again. Your woman has skills. Has she shown you the trick with the waist cuffs?”
“Oh yeah! We’re using that trick often,” Mark shook his head. “What is it about her that gets inside of your head? You’ll give her whatever she wants.”
“Don’t bother trying to figure it out,” Charles rattled off. “Dude, you’re wasting your time. She’s like…magic or something. She broke Lee!”
“She broke me!” Mark pointed to himself. “It’s her freckin eyes. She flashes those things and you’ll give her anything she wants.”
“Do you see what I’m going through? Natalie has the effect on me. I don’t know to stop loving her.”
“Don’t worry about. You don’t have to stop loving her. I’ve already talked to Sydney about your relationship. I knew you’d come to me sooner or later.
“You’re an arrogant fuck aren’t you?”
“Yep! I have to look out for my woman’s interest.”
******
Sydney lay in bed staring off into space. She’d been there for days on, or what felt like days….the days and night were beginning to blur, her mother’s voice pouring from the record player. Her past mistakes played before her: Her stubbornness, the ill-treatment of her assistants, the dogged tenacity, the selfishness, and her fear of failure. There here all there…her constant companions.
They were there when no one else was. There clothed her and made the loneliness bearable. Over the last were days there had been little that would have provoked her to rise from bed but today there was a force inside of her…around her that pleaded for her to “get moving”. Get moving, rang in her ears. Get moving, filled her thoughts. But she ignored the calling, simply replying she wasn’t ready. She had to say goodbye to her old friends….for good.
“Mom,” She called to herself and drew a long breath and waited. There was no answer. “You don’t have to reply but I need to talk to you. I’m lost, mom. I’m lost and afraid in ways I never knew existed. For the first time I don’t what my future holds. I don’t know what’s coming around the corner---I have no control…and you know what? It feels damn good,” she exhaled and shook her head.
“I’m letting go, mom. I can’t hold on anymore, I tried but I can’t. I’ve met someone, he’s name is Mark. He’s not perfect; he tends to be stubborn but who isn’t. He was estranged from his family and I didn’t want him to end up in my situation, alone without a family so I helped reunite them.
I went to Iowa for his sake but being there with his family helped me get over my trust issues. They’re not the ideal family; they fight, they have their problems but at the end of the day, they’re still a family. And through them, I’ve learned what forgiveness really means. I could preach forgiveness to Mark but in my own life I failed to apply it. I realize that just because someone hurts you, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They may not have known they’ve hurt you. You have to be vulnerably, to let them know how I feel.. I thought vulnerability and forgiveness was another way of saying weak but momma, I was wrong. There is power in laying it all out there and allowing people to accept you for who you are.
Mark told me that I wasn’t broken, I just hadn’t healed,” she chuckled. “He was right, I’m not broken. I have these little hairline fractions that require attention but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with the gauze of time. And you know what, I’m enjoying fixing them. I’ve discovered that I’m strong. I’m stronger than I even imagined and I don’t have to hide anymore. I wanted to feel the pain. I felt my heart fold over itself, momma. I welcome it,” Sydney laughed through her tears. I’ve never felt kind of freedom. I’ve never been so happy. It feels like I’m coming full circle and it’s not because of Mark. I don’t need him. I thought I did but I don’t.
He didn’t, that is, he doesn’t complete me. I don’t see myself in him. What he had done is turned on the light and made it possible for me to see myself and I’m thankful for that everyday,” She felt a warm encircle her. “When I wake up and see him, it reminds me of how far I’ve come and, to me, that’s the best gift anyone could ask for. I might stumble and I might fall. I might get lost and frightened along the way but if I can handle being alone for those years, then I’m ready for whatever life throws at me next.” She paused, not entirely sure how to approach the next subject.
“Sydney,” Mark came to the door. “Everyone is downstairs waiting on you.” He stopped; there was someone in the room. “I’ll tell them you’ll be down shortly.
Mark slowly realized it was the same presence what followed him…the presence urged him to be patient with her. It wasn’t her father; his presence was thick and heavy. This presence was gently and spoke without speaking. It told him that whatever she was going through would pass; she wouldn’t be given more than she could bear, and she would be comforted.
Beg Me: Part Thirteen
“Thank you,” she turned to Mark watching him until he left and then turned her attention back to her mom. Mark’s wants children but I’m afraid…that is, I was afraid. I’m open to the possibility of children, but not anytime soon.”
“You have no choice in the matter,” a voice said sweetly.
“It’s you,” Sydney covered her mouth smiling. “I didn’t think I’d hear your voice again.”
“Why not? I never left. You closed yourself off from me. You had so many walls built up around you, Sydney.”
“I was afraid of disappointing you.”
“You could never disappoint me. I’m so…,” her mother stopped speaking as Sydney giggled slightly. “Why are you laughing?”
“Your voice sounds just like mine. It’s not at all how I remember it.”
“You were so young when I came here. I’ve been with you ever step of the way.”
“You were the presence we felt in Iowa--our last night there.” Sydney gasp lightly.
“Yes,” her mother said brightly. “I was there when during your first run in with Margret. I have to hand it to you, you handled yourself well.”
Sydney sat upright in the bed; her eyes darted around the room. “You saw that?”
“Yes, I did. Did you ever wonder why you reacted so calmly? The old Sydney would’ve mopped the floor with her.”
“No, I…I didn’t think about it.” she made a small scoffing noise.
“You’re embracing your softer side. Don’t get me wrong, you’re hundred and ten percent Domina, sweetheart, however when tensions rose over dinner and you saw Mark about to attack Margret, you took of a submissive role just long enough for me to slip in and talk to your better sense,” she exhales. “You’re just like your father. I had to work my ass off to calm you down.”
“I felt you. I thought it was daddy. But it was you the whole time.” Her voice dropped to barely a whisper. “You’ve been here for the past few days, weren’t you?”
Her mother spoke gently. “Every step of the way, baby and I’m proud of your for not falling bad on your old habits,” She smoothed Sydney’s cheek. “I know what you’ve been through; it broke my heart but I had to let you go through it alone. I was there.”
“Mom, it was difficult but I’m happy,” she stuttered. “I have new friends and I’m just now realizing that I have a core group of people who genuinely care about me. They’re not self servicing, they care.”
“They do care about, even the one that stabbed you in the back.”
“Ha!” Sydney laughed. “You sound certain of that.”
“I am certain she cares. Your relationship with those girls had been strained and she may have been acting out. But Sydney, you have to accept your responsibility for what’s happened as well. This didn’t happen in a vacuum.”
Sydney dropped her head. “I know, momma but I don’t know what to do with her. I can’t keep her around and loose face nor can I fire her when I know that it was partially my fault.”
“I won’t advise you however you said it yourself, there is power in forgiveness. Talk to Mark; he’s an intelligent man, you make good choice.”
“You think so?”
“I have no doubt. He’s the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with.”
“Mark wants babies, momma”
“And you’ll give them to him.”
Sydney laughed. “Not anytime soon.”
“Sooner than you think.”
Really?” Sydney bit her thumb nail smiling.
“Give it time.”
“Thank you, mom,” New tears pooled in Sydney’s eyes; silence filled the room, louder than words. “I love you. Please don’t leave me now.”
“I love you to. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you but never forget you have Helen and Jane to turn to.”
“I do, don’t I?” Sydney stood and wrapped herself in her robe, feeling lighter than she’d felt in days.
“They’re good people.”
“Yes, they are. Well, I have to be going. Tell daddy that I’ll coming to see him in a few days,” Sydney went towards the bathroom and turned back briefly, gazing around the walls of the room. A sense of peace enveloped her. “Mom.” She called.
“I’m here,”
Sydney smiled. “Just checking.”
“Your father used to do the same thing,” Her mom laughed.
“I know,”
“Sydney, tell Mark that they are looking in the right place and Kenneth will be home soon.”
Sydney drew a deep breath. “Oh my God. Mom…I …can’t tell you what that will mean to Mark; to his family.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said with a smile in her voice. “Now go, get moving. And bring Mark with you the next time come.”
“Will do.”
******
Seeing Sydney with everyone gathered around discussing the latest development with the Doms, she showed some semblance of herself. She seemed to be on the mends.
What Sydney couldn’t figure out was why everyone was staring at her. Every move she made was being analyzed and picked over for any signs of madness. She felt like running from the room screaming just to freak everyone out. That would have surely send #3, whose appearance toggled between glum and pathetic, into open tears. She avoided Sydney’s eye contact and when she couldn’t, she’d quickly looked away.
The atmosphere was more relaxed than normal. For once there was banter and laughter. Sydney was actually beginning to enjoy their continuous chatter. It reminded her of being around Mark’s friends and family. Her eyes beamed. This was all brand new to her. As they talked, slowly the faces of her assistants began to appear. Charles and Lee’s faces had always been there but her assistants were always missing. Her little circle was finally taking shape.
“Drink up,” Mark handed her a cup of tea and took his seat beside her. “So as far as we know, everything is going as planned. No hiccups.”
“We’re fine. All of my Doms are in order. How are yours?” Charles responded.
“Never better,” Mark answered than turned to Lee. “I would like to you remain in town for the time being just in case we need your muscle.”
Lee smiled at Charles with a raised eyebrow.
“Dude, why are you so violent?” Charles burst out laughing along with everyone else.
“I’m not violent!” he shrugged. “I just don’t put up with the same level of bullshit that most people do.”
Sydney covered her mouth laughing. “Lee, you are violent. Out of all my apprentices, you were the most difficult to break,” She turned to Charles. “How long did it take me to break you?”
“Four hours total.”
“You see,” she gestured at Lee. “You took me six hours. Six hours! I could have had you in four but you were so goddamn stubborn!” she chuckled.
“I am European. We’re stronger than you Americans.” He threw his hands up innocently and was met with hiss and laughter. “What? It’s a proven fact that we are stronger.”
“Oh fuck off.” Charles walked to the kitchen to grab another beer.
“Wait Charles, he maybe on to something,” Sydney followed him and teased. “He may be “strong” but little ol’ me…a mere American women, half his size broke him,” she bowed to everyone applause. She turned to Lee grinning from ear to ear. “How many years had you been begging to whip your ass?”
Lee shook his head; he knew he was caught, “Should we be talking about this in the front of our submissives?”
“Don’t try to change the subject. You opened your big mouth,” Mark pulled Sydney down into his arm. “You should know never to talk shit in front of her.”
“I may be under the weather but I’m still your Mistress.” She held up her O-ring like a princess for him to kiss.
“Madame, I won’t gladly bow to you any day,” he kissed her hand with a wink. “I’d better be going. I have to pick up my tux.”
“By yourself?” #4 chimed in to everyone’s surprise. She immediately lowered her head and spoke meekly. “I mean…I’ll go with you since you don’t have any assistants traveling with you. If it pleases my Mistress.”
All eyes fell on Sydney. She more than anyone, was surprised by this outburst. “Um, sure. #2, you’ll go along as well. Natalie and #3, I need your help.”
#2 looked none to happy about playing chaperone for these two but she drudge on like a good submissive as they walked to the door.
“Lee,” Sydney called. “You know the rules. Don’t try to sleep with my girls. I mean it!”
“I promise I won’t try anything with them.” He gave a crooked grin.
Sydney only half way believed him. “Get out of here.” She stood and headed upstairs as he left.
“Is there anything I can get you for, Mistress?” Natalie asked.
“No, I’m going to take a nap. Please be sure the girls dresses are ready. I don’t want to wait until the last minute.”
“Yes, Mistress,” Natalie’s heart twisted in her chest. She passed Charles without a word.
“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.”
“Mistress, can I talk to you for a second?” #3 asked earnestly.
Sydney gave her a long piercing stare.
“Excuse me,” Mark gave Sydney a quick wink as he passed her on his way upstairs.
“No, will call for you when I’m ready to speak with you,” Sydney said coldly turning her back and retreating upstairs. Far too much time had lapsed, and she knew the longer she postponed their conversation, the more painful the wait would be.
#3 stood paralyzed.