"Maybe we should just reschedule this trip," I offered.
"No, let's go anyway. I think we could both use the 'rest and renewal,'" he answered, trying to smile.
"But, are you sure you want to go without Heather?"
"Yes," he answered, a bit too forcefully.
When he suggested that I relax and try to nap as we drove toward the cabin, I pretended to do just that. Though I was not tired, I figured we both needed a chance to be alone with our own thoughts. Besides, not having to worry about making conversation, or being uncomfortable with the silence was just fine with me. As I sat there with my eyes closed, listening to his slight movements, I couldn’t help but to think back to what brought me to be in this car with this man at this time.
It was a 3:00 p.m. on a fall Friday afternoon, the beginning of Homecoming Weekend. I was sure that despite the fact that I had office hours scheduled until 3:30 p.m., no one was coming. As I stood to leave, briefcase and keys in hand, I heard footsteps approaching. Damn! Students who come to see faculty members after 3:00 p.m. on Friday were generally not the ones you are glad to see. But wait…there was something familiar about those footsteps.
When he appeared in my doorway, I blinked twice to be sure it was him. He looked pretty much the same. Light brown hair, piercing grey eyes, broad shoulders and great thighs. Those thighs had once been the stuff of some amazing fantasies. The intervening years has added some maturity to his face and some confidence to his stance.
"Hey, Doc. What are you still doing here on a Friday afternoon?" he asked.
"Waiting for you I guess," I quipped.
We both laughed as I gave him a maternal hug then offered him a seat.
“I wondered if you’d come this weekend, since it is the 10th anniversary for your graduating class.”
“Yeah, I thought it was about time…” the look in his eyes seemed to say much more than his words.
We caught each other up on our respective lives and I caught him up on my life and life in the Anthropology Department. His engagement, my divorce, Professor Harris’ retirement; the usual. Before I knew it, it was 4:30 p.m.
"Lee, I have to go pick up my daughter. It's been great seeing you again. Will you be at the football game tomorrow?" I asked, and wondered if he felt the same reluctance to part as I did.
"Yeah, I'll look for you,” he said, giving me that smile of his, part boyish grin, part seductive leer.
My cheeks burned all the way to the where my daughter, Emily, was waiting. Ten years later and he still had that same unsettling effect on me. Wasn't a teacher/student crush supposed to go the other way?
At the game the next day he introduced me to his fiancée. I was grateful. An obstacle to keep me from making a fool of myself. When he was a student the obstacles had been my marriage and his student status. Thankfully, now Heather could step into that place. She was blond, pretty, about 5’6” with body that could be described as thin without bordering on anorexic. Very different from my 5’1” curvy body, my curly African-American hair and my café au lait skin. Heather seemed exactly like what I thought his type was. She was very sweet, and clearly over-the-moon in love with Lee. The maternal side of me hoped they’d be happy together.
Throughout the game, Lee filled Heather in his student days and his experiences in the Department and in my classes. I’d gotten pregnant with my daughter just as Lee was finishing his junior year. Emily was born in February ; very unfortunate timing for a college professor. But Lee, a senior in very good standing, had helped cover some of my classes. In fact, the day I went into labor, he was the first person I called, once my husband convinced me that we really needed to be moving in the direction of the hospital. To this day I fondly remember calling his frat house and hearing him stumble to the phone, still half asleep. When I explained the situation he said, without hesitation, “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll take care of it.” How could a then-22-year-old sound so competent?
"Hey,” Lee said turning to me, “why don't you and the baby come up to my uncle's cabin some weekend with Heather and I?"
To keep from having to answer his question, I said, "You know, the 'baby' is nine-years old now. If she were here she'd let you know what a big girl she is!"
He laughed. "Yeah, I bet. I still remember when you were pregnant with her. It seems like yesterday that you called me to cover give that quiz of yours because you had gone into labor."
"But seriously, we'd love to have you come to the cabin with us some time, wouldn't we, Heather?"
I could tell Heather would not "love" to have Lee's former professor and her child tag along on their getaway weekend, but she echoed the invitation for his benefit. Having no graceful way out, I agreed, certain that Heather would find a way to make sure the trip never came off. And, in fact, it was months before I heard from Lee again.
Then, one Monday afternoon in early April, he called.
"Hey! I bet you thought I forgot about you."
It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about. "Ah...not really,” I stammered. “How have you been?"
"Pretty good. I'm calling to see if you and Emily want to come to my uncle's cabin with us this weekend. Remember we talked about it at Homecoming?"
"Yes, I remember," I said, frantically trying to think up some excuse why we couldn't go.
He apparently caught the hesitancy in my voice. "Come on, I know this is a crazy time of the year for you. You need a rest. Come with us. Please?"
"Well....okay. Listen, I have class in five minutes. Is there I number where I can call you back about the details?"
He gave me his number. “But I'll call you back this afternoon. Is 2:00 p.m. a good time?"
It was, so we agreed to talk then. As I raced to class, I thought, four hours to get my story together.
When we spoke later, it was clear that Lee did not plan to take "No" for an answer.
"Are you sure Heather is alright with this. Why would you want a third AND a fourth wheel with you for the weekend?"
"Yes, she is fine with this. It's a big cabin and there are plenty of things to see around the lake. We won't get in each other's way."
Finally, I agreed, and we made arrangements to meet at my house Friday evening at 5:00 p.m.
Two days later, I called him to say that Emily wasn't coming. She begged to be able to spend the weekend with my cousin so that she could go to a friend’s birthday party. Again I suggested that I bow out of the trip. And, again, Lee wouldn't hear of it.
When Lee arrived on Friday evening, he was alone.
"Where's Heather?"
"She decided not to come," was his clipped response.
"Maybe we should just cancel this trip and reschedule," I offered.
"No, let's go anyway. I think we could both use the 'rest and renewal,'" he answered, trying to smile.
"But, are you sure you want to go without Heather?"
"Yes," he answered, a bit too forcefully.
He was right, it was a big cabin. A spacious living room/dining area, kitchen, two bedrooms separated by the bathroom, a deck off the back that looked out on the lake, and all of the entertainment equipment I could wish for, including cable and high-speed internet. There was an upstairs too, with an open style loft-type room that was very spacious. He had planned to put Emily there, so she’d have her own space away from the boring adults. In all, the word “cabin” did not quite do this place justice.
Lee carried my bag to the room I was to use and instructed me to lock the opposite bathroom door from the inside when I used it so that it couldn't be opened from the other bedroom. I now wonder how the weekend would have been different if I'd remembered that advice.
Saturday morning, I got up early to jog around the lake. The air smelled clean and was invigoratingly crisp. The scenery was great, and it seemed all the more splendid since there were so few people about at that hour. I had to admit that Lee was right, I’d needed this break. Not having to worry about my child or my students was liberating. Even as a student, he’d always been able to read me; knew what I needed. When I was pregnant with Emily, he could always tell when I needed to get up and walk or when I needed to sit and put my feet up. I smiled, remembering the one time I thought I saw a bit of a chubby in his pants as he put a hand at the small of my back and guided me to a chair. I completed my third lap around the lake then decided to return to the cabin to shower.
I went through my room, kicked off my shoes and socks, picked up my robe and headed into the bathroom. Once I'd pulled my t-shirt over my head, I peeled down my spandex jogging pants. It always felt better wearing them without underware, but it made them harder to get off after I was sweaty.
Naked except for my jogging bra, I crossed my arms in front of me, grabbed the base of it and proceeded to pull it over my head. Apparently at the moment that my bra and my arms covered my face, Lee opened the opposite door. When I was able to see again, I was startled to see him standing there in a pair of maroon boxers, clearly looking like he'd just awakened. He looked at me wide-eyed, and I suspect his surprise was mirrored on my face. He mumbled an apology, backed up and closed the door.
Once I recovered, I grabbed my robe, tied it tightly around me, then knocked on his door and asked if he needed to get into the bathroom before I started to shower. Through the door, he apologized again and said he'd wait. He'd probably have preferred peeing outside to facing me at that point, I thought, barely suppressing a giggle.
Later, after we’d both showered, dressed and eaten, we decided to go hiking. But the ‘naked’ elephant was still very much in the room. I had to admit that, even clothed, I felt exposed, knowing what he’d seen.
Lee took the lead as we hiked up the trail. Try as I might, I couldn't help staring at his butt. From what I'd seen in that morning, his front was certainly appealing. Now I could see that the back wasn't bad either. Who was I kidding? I’d checked out his ass many a time when he was a student…like every time he turned and walked out of my office. I realized too late that he was saying something to me that I hadn't heard. He stopped and turned toward me.
"Professor Reed?" That fact that he was calling me Professor Reed, rather than the usual “Doc” was an indication of how tense he was.
"What? Sorry, I guess I was lost in thought."
He shook his head, "It wasn't that important," and continued walking.
Deciding I really needed to do something to break the tension, I said, "You know, Lee. You're not my student any more, and you've now seen me naked, don't you think you could call me Laura?"
He stopped so suddenly I almost ran into him. He turned and looked at me, a myriad of emotions playing across his face. "I'll have to work on that."
We finally reached the site he'd wanted to show me. There was a beautiful waterfall cascading down into a small pond that fed a mountain stream. At his suggestion, we already had our bathing suits on under our clothes, so it was a simple matter shedding one layer to prepare for swimming. But, even that felt awkward. As if rehearsed, we turned slightly away from each other as we did so.
“Ready?”
I nodded, not meeting his eyes, and pretending that I couldn’t feel his gaze sweeping over my body.
We eased into the chilly water, getting gradually acclimated to the temperature. When I was in up to the waist, I felt my nipples contract. Funny thing was, I wasn’t entirely sure it was temperature induced. We swam the short distance to the waterfall, Lee getting there slightly ahead of me. I straightened up and began to tread water.
“Come over this way a little. You ought to be able to touch bottom,” he said, reaching his hand out to me.
He was right. As we got closer to the falls, the floor of the pond rose to meet the opening of a small cave behind the falls. The cave had not been visible from further away. Lee took my hand and pulled me quickly through the falls into the cave behind.
“Wow, this place is amazing. How did you find it?”
“Ah, you know young boys…” he answered, leaving to interpret that any way I liked. He seemed embarrassed but at the same time amused at some memory.
I moved over to stand under the falls. As I stood under them, I was surprised by how warm the water was. Lee explained that the upper pond seemed to be warmed by sunlight that was pretty intense, given the elevation. That made the water from the falls warmer than the water in the lower pond. The light was bright enough to allow us to see a short distance toward the back of the cave. It all seemed pretty harmless. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and let the water run over my body, enjoying the sensation. For a few moments, I was oblivious to anything other than the sensation of the warmed water flowing over me.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Lee staring at me. His desire was apparent in his eyes… and elsewhere. I let my eyes travel down to his growing erection, then back to his eyes, letting him know that I knew he was aroused.
He spoke first. "Seeing you standing there like that is more erotic than seeing you naked this morning. And, it was hard enough backing away from you then. Here, it's like we're in the shower together, but you're teasing me by wearing that bathing suit."
I was stunned, and unsure what to say. "Sorry, that wasn't my intention."
"I know. I finally realized during my senior year that you have no idea how sexy you are.” His face showed a self-deprecating smile, “Believe me, I spent most of my junior year convinced that you were intentionally teasing and torturing me.”
Was he telling me that he was harboring fantasies similar to my own? "Lee, really I'm, what 10, 15 years older than you are?"
"You're 13 years older than me. I remembered you mentioned in class once the year that you were born. I've never forgotten it." He moved closer to me, forcing me to either look up at him or break eye contact. “And don’t even think about playing the race card,” he said, continuing to advance on me, “because I refuse to let other’s people’s hang-ups keep me from what I want.” He now stood mere inches from me. I felt my nipples harden, as though they were reaching out to him.
"Do you want to know why Heather didn't come this weekend?" he asked.
"I wondered, but figured you didn't want to talk about it."
"She said that I had feelings for you that went beyond what a student typically feels for a former teacher. She said I'm always talking about you, telling her stories about your classes and the Anthropology Club trips.
"So, when she heard Emily wasn't coming, she said that I needed to address those feelings one way or another. I told her she was crazy and we had a terrible argument. She gave me my ring back. Now, I realize that she was right." We looked into each other's eyes for several seconds.
I took a deep breath and backed away slightly to make what I had to say easier. "Lee, I had such a crush on you when you were a student." His face revealed pleasure at my revelation. "When you appeared in my office that day back in the fall, I realized that those feelings have not diminished. I wanted you ten years ago, but I couldn't even entertain the thought because you were my student, and I was married. When you introduced me to Heather, I was glad that there was still something – someone -- to force me to keep those feelings in check. But you're telling me that's not a factor either."
"No, it’s not,” he answered, with a bittersweet smile. “So what do we do now?"
I paused for a second; trying to sort out my tangled thoughts. "I still want you," I said, in a small, breathless voice that I barely recognized as my own.
He closed the distance between us, pulling me into his arms and grinding his firm erection into my stomach. We kissed with such intensity that I was sure my lips would be bruised. My body hummed from top to bottom, and the wetness between my legs could not in any way be attributed to our swim across the pond. Eventually we pulled apart, breathing heavily.
Slipping his finger under one strap of my bathing suit he playfully asked, "Can I see you naked again?"
I laughed and swatted his hand away. "Nope, not yet. You’ve seen me already, it is my turn to see you. Shall I help you out of those trunks?"
His answer took the form of closed eyes, a whimsical smile and a groan.
I slid my hands into his waistband on each side, as he covered my mouth with his. I started to push his trunks down, but they got stuck on his now quite firm erection. I slid one hand around to the front to stroke him and pull him free of the fabric. He groaned again, making my nipples tingle. I barely heard the trunks plop for the floor of the cave. We devoured each other’s mouths as our hands explored. His ass felt as amazing as I had looked clothed. To say nothing of his dick. This man was hung! He gripped my ass firmly, pulling me into him. A very pleased groan escaped before I could censure it. I finally had Lee, naked and hard, in my arms.
"Your turn." He pulled the straps of my suit off my shoulders and past my breasts. He stopped, cradling them in his hands, admiring them like a child who’d just unwrapped a long-for toy on Christmas morning.
"Did you know that when your lectures got boring…”
I tried for my best ‘stern professor’ look and raised one eyebrow. We both laughed.
“…which was not very often, I used to stare at your breasts."
"Yes, I knew. At first the feminist side of me was offended. But, when I got to know you better, I realized that you don’t view women as objects. And, the more I got to know you the more I started to want you.” I went up on my toes to kiss him again. Finally pulling away, I flicked my eyes quick down to my breasts then back to his face. “Show me what you wanted to do to them when you were daydreaming in my classes.”
He bent to claim one breast in his mouth while still holding onto the other. Once that nipple was fully erect, he moved on to the other. Without thought, I arched my back, pressing myself firmly into his mouth.
He lowered himself to his knees, beginning to peel my suit from me as he went. Instinctively I clutched at the suit, my insecurity surfacing at baring my 13-year-older, post-childbearing body to him. Once again, he seemed to know exactly what I was feeling.
“Oh, Doc. Don’t get shy on my now. Besides, I’ve seen it already, remember? And it made me so hard, so fast. It was not just embarrassment that made me say I’d wait until you got done in the shower this morning. I had to calm down before I could pee.” We laughed together. “Besides, my shit is swingin’ in the wind here,” he said, reminding me that he was already naked. Yes, buck naked and glorious, I thought. I relented and he peeled my suit the rest of the way off.
With the difference in our height, even on his knees he could lick and suck my breasts. He continued this delicious assault until I thought I'd explode. Then, he trailed kisses down my abdomen, skipping over my mound and continuing done my inner thigh. I spread my legs to signal my need, but he continued to tease me, not giving me what I wanted. Finally, he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and buried his face in my stomach, inhaling deeply.
"You smell wonderful."
I reached down, under his arms and tried to pull him up to me. "Please...I need to feel you inside me...now."
He stood, took me by the hand and led me over to an interesting rock formation. I looked like a slightly reclined chair with ledges at each side near the bottom. He looked at me to see if I "got it" and I did immediately. Great foot rests for the person facing the back of the chair.
He sat on the chair and I straddle him, gazing into his beautiful grey eyes as I slid down on his very firm erection. He resumed sucking my nipples as I descended. We quickly found our rhythm together. As I rode him, his dick scratched an itch that not been attended to in way too long. My last coherent thought before I was completely overcome by a lust-induced haze was amazement that this young man was so in tune with my body. He seemed to know when to thrust, when to grind against my clitoris, when to hold completely still. And, he played my breasts like a concert pianist handles a Steinway. My cries of ecstasy echoed off the walls of the inner chamber. He clearly enjoyed watching my orgasm.
When I was able to speak again, I looked deeply into his eyes and said, simply "Come for me," as I squeezed his member with my inner muscles. He moaned, closed his eyes, and threw his head back. Within a few thrusts, he filled me with his essence.
It was all so quick and feverish, that neither of us was ready to move apart. I asked if I was too heavy, if I was hurting his legs. He assured me that I wasn't, so I kept him inside me as we continued to kiss and hold each other.
He noticed that I keep pulling my shoulder-length hair back out of my face, and he offered to French braid it. I was amazed that he knew how.
"But in order for you to braid my hair, I have to move, and I'm awfully comfortable where I am."
He gave me a sweet smile. "I know, I don't want to break the connection either. But, think of it as just a different kind of connection."
As he braided, he explained that he used to have to do his younger sister's hair in the morning because his mother left for work early.
"And so now this has become part of your post-intercourse ritual?" I teased.
He was obviously embarrassed, and appeared to be about to deny it, but then said, "Well, I don't smoke."
We both laughed.