Chapter Eight

Leslie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to remain cool. If she remained composed Jessica would remain calm too. She never thought this day would come. Not like this. After a lot of soul searching and deep conversations with her mother she knew she had made the right decision. One she could live with because it was best for her daughter.

She looked down at her beautiful daughter who was huddled close to her side. Her lower lip trembled. Reaching down she stroked Jessica’s untamed hair.

Jessica looked up at her with genuine fear. “I want to go home mommy.”

She smiled. “We will but don’t you want to see your daddy first?”

Jessica shook her head. “No mommy. I just want to go home.”

Leslie lowered herself until she was eye-to-eye with her daughter. “I know you do. I also know you are afraid but there is no reason to be. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

Leslie gave her daughter a quick hug and stood hoping she would be able to keep her promise. She agreed to meet Justin today. Their court date was fast approaching and she hoped they could come to some sort of agreement before then.

After all this time he stated he wanted to see Jessica and she decided to pacify him. He was her father and there was no reason to deny him the right, even if she didn’t think he deserved it. She was willing to do anything to make this situation go smoother . . .for her daughter’s sake.

“Leslie?”

Her head jerked up at the sound of Justin’s voice. She could feel Leslie move behind her and hug her legs but she hardly noticed. Her attention was on the man who had broken her heart many years ago along with her–their daughter. The man Jessica looked so much like. She tried to smile but it ended up being more of a grimace. Feelings of bitterness bubbled up to the surface as she faced the man who abandoned her and their daughter but she fought them back. It wouldn’t solve anything even if it did make feel better.

“Justin.”

“It’s good to see you.”

She gave a brief nod. “You as well.”

She watched his gaze move over to Jessica who stood well hidden behind her, her hands hugging Leslie’s legs.

“Jessica?”

Leslie winced as Jessica’s grip tightened around her legs. “Mommy!”

Leslie reached for her daughter, struggling to pry her arms from around her legs. She scooped her daughter up into a protective embrace. Jessica all but burrowed into her chest, burying her face into her neck.

“Remember what I said Jessie. There is nothing to be afraid of.”

She looked up in time to catch the disappointment in Justin’s expression. The sympathy she felt for him was slight. It was his fault that his daughter was afraid of him. He was a total stranger to her. She had never spoken ill of Justin to Jessica. In fact she had done the opposite, trying to get her daughter to embrace her father, or rather the idea of him.

Justin stepped closer to them and Jessica shifted in her arms. She watched a gentle smile spread across his face. He had nothing but eyes for Jessica.

“Hi Jessica.”

He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of Jessica’s face. Jessica moved away from his touch and huddled closer to Leslie. A look of pain flashed across his face. She stroked Jessica’s back in a soothing fashion.

“Give her time Justin. All of this is new to her.”

Justin exhaled deeply, then nodded. “So should we sit and talk?”

Leslie nodded and followed him to the hostess stand. They were seated quickly. Jessica next to her still crowded close.

“She’s beautiful,” he commented. “Just like her mother.”

Leslie shook her head. “I don’t know how since she is a splitting image of you.”

Justin looked over at Jessica. His eyes studied her cautiously and a smile spread across his face. “You’re right. She does.”

There was a long pause as the waitress came up to their table and took their order. When she walked away Justin looked over at her.

“How have you been Leslie?”

“I’ve been good Justin. A few rough times but I can’t complain. How about yourself?”

He leaned back against the booth and interlaced his hands together. “Life has been good.”

His gaze drifted back to Jessica and Leslie looked down at her daughter. She was staring at her father just as intently.

“Say hi to your daddy Jessie.”

Justin’s gaze jerked up to hers. “She knows?”

Leslie nodded. “Of course she does. Did you think I wouldn’t tell her?”

Justin shrugged. “I wasn’t sure.”

“Well right now the word is just a title to her. It is your responsibility to make it mean more.”

Justin paused for a few heartbeats before he responded. “I messed up Leslie.”

“Yes you did.”

He sighed. “I wasn’t ready.”

She arched a brow in his direction. “And I was? Reality check Justin, I wasn’t prepared either. I know it was my decision to have Jessica but I couldn’t bear the thought of any other choice.”

She looked down at Jessica. “I don’t regret my choice in the least. Even if it has been a struggle on occasion.”

“She is beautiful Leslie. You have done a good job with her.”

“Thank you.”

The waitress came back up to their table with their food and Leslie made sure Jessica was settled before turning her attention to her own food.

“I’m sorry Leslie.”

She paused in the middle of cutting her burger. Justin’s apology caught her off guard. She didn’t even know what he was sorry for but she was curious to find out and she wouldn’t make it easy for him. If he was going to apologize it had to be heartfelt.

“You’re sorry?”

He shrugged. “For everything. I have messed up big time. I was at a point in my life where I wasn’t thinking straight. I swear if I could do it all over again I would.”

She could see the sincerity in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. Still she needed to know why he was here. Where they stood. She didn’t want her daughter hurt again.

“It still doesn’t change things Justin. Why are you here? Was it because the court served you with child support papers? Would you be here if you hadn’t been?”

“I’m here because I made a mistake Leslie, a huge one. I’m not going to lie. I was ticked off when I received the paper’s requesting child support.”

He paused and an expression crossed his face that she couldn’t decipher. “Then a few weeks ago a friend of mine and his wife lost their baby. She made it to full-term but the baby was stillborn.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “They were devastated. Sitting there watching them grieve I felt like the worlds biggest jerk. I have a daughter I’m not even taking care of, a daughter who doesn’t know me, while my friends are grief stricken over a baby they would have given up everything for.”

He exhaled heavily. “I don’t want that Leslie. I don’t want to continuing being the unfit father I have been when I shouldn’t be.”

Leslie sat down her knife. “I don’t want that either Justin. I want Jessica to know you. You were a good man–are a good man. There is no reason why our daughter shouldn’t know you. I want her to know her father.”

She hesitated. “But I also have to protect her. I need to know you are for real Justin. That you won’t run away at the first sign of difficulty. Jessie deserves more than that. Promise me you won’t hurt her.”

Justin expression was since when he spoke. “I promise you I won’t do anything to hurt our daughter. I want to get to know her. Catch up on all of the things I missed out on . . .if you will let me. Believe me, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.”

Leslie looked over at her daughter who was distracted by her food and the toy it came with. She couldn’t deny her child anything she deserved. It was up to Justin how his relationship with Jessica evolved. It wasn’t for Justin but before her daughter’s sake. She looked back across the table at him.

“Don’t mess this up Justin. You won’t get another chance if you do.”



* * * *



“It’s about time you called me back hoochie mama.”

Kristina sat down on the couch and rolled her eyes. “You know Courtney, each time I pick up the phone I am quickly reminded why I shouldn’t have.”

Courtney laughed. “Oh whatever. You know you love me and your life would be dull and empty without me in it.”

Kristina shook her head. “Try sane and normal.”

Courtney laughed again. “Never and before you try to distract me away from the real reason I called tell me about Mr. Wonderful.”

Kristina closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the couch. “Who would that be?”

“Mr. Robert Cantu of course. The man who seems to have you so distracted all the time you are constantly walking around with your head in the clouds.”

“I am not,” Kristina protested.

“Oh but you are and I must say Robert has some major mojo. You weren’t even this distracted with Warren.”

She stiffened at the mention of his name. “Courtney please! We are all better off if you don’t mention his name ever again. He is history and he will stay that way.”

Courtney paused. “Are you sure?”

She groaned. “Don’t start Court. It has been a good week. A really good week and I have plans with Robert later. Let’s not ruin it.”

“I want to meet him.”

Kristina’s eyes popped open. “Oh uh-uh! You can’t even behave yourself around me. There is no telling what will come out of your mouth if I let you in his presence.”

“Oh come one Kris. It isn’t like I am going to ask him about his intentions toward you. I will leave the make-an-honest-woman of you speech for dad.”

“Good Lord Courtney. I swear you are out of your mind sometimes.”

“I’m out of my mind all of the time and so are you.”

Kristina sat up straight. “How am I out of my mind? I haven’t done anything.”

“Exactly. So tell me what is really up between you and Robert.”

Kristina opened her mouth to respond but no sound came out. She hated when her sister was right.

“Kristina?”

“Yeah Courtney. I’m still here. Just thinking.”

“Well it’s a start but it might be too late the way you and Robert are burning up the sheets.”

She didn’t even bother to correct her sister. She and Robert were scorching the sheets, the shower, the floor in the living room, the kitchen table, the–

“Kristina?”

She jumped. “Sorry Court. I was lost in thought.”

Her sister laughed. “I can only imagine about what. So what is the skinny on you and Robert?”

Kristina sat back again and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I don’t know Courtney. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Having fun with a gorgeous man,” he sister supplied.

“Something like that but . . .”

“Oh-oh. Kristina are you falling for him?”

She shrugged then realized her sister couldn’t see her. “I don’t know Court. This is supposed to be fun. It is fun but –”

“The game is starting to change?”

Kristina sighed. “I don’t think it ever started. I am so confused Courtney. What the hell am I doing?”

“Well if you have to ask me whatever you are doing you can’t be doing it right.”

“You aren’t helping Courtney.”

“Yes well according to you that wouldn’t be anything new.”

Kristina exhaled deeply. “I’m serious Court. I need to help me. Tell me what’s wrong with me.”

“Who says anything is wrong with you?”

“Me. I can’t even think straight. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I do. What you are experiencing with Robert is intense and it scares you. He might have started off as a itch you were trying to scratch but it has become more even if you didn’t mean for it to . . .didn’t want it to. It’s okay Kris. Warren hurt you but don’t let him keep you from having something real with Robert.”

“Um Courtney, you are supposed to be telling me how crazy I am.”

Her sister laughed. “You are crazy. If you are thinking about giving up Robert you are insane. I haven’t even met the guy Kris but I can tell you like him and I have a feeling he likes you just as much.”

Kristina groaned. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Why?”

Kristina sighed. “Because I’m not ready for this again Courtney. This was only supposed to be about having fun…and good sex.”

“Who says it can’t be that and more?”

“I do. I’m not ready to go back into the world of relationships.”

Courtney paused before responding. “Did you tell Robert that?”

“No I didn’t and I’m starting to think I should have.”



* * * *



Kristina bit her lip and tried to focus on the movie on the screen. It was hard to do when the couple on the screen was locked in a passionate embrace reminding her of what she was trying to avoid with Robert. She had to tell him what she was thinking. Let him know what her doubts were. Her fears. Before things got out of hand. It was only fair.

“You are quiet tonight.”

She jumped in surprise and placed a hand to her now rapidly beating chest. When she looked over at Robert he was smiling.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She shrugged. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“So I noticed. Is something on your mind?”

She averted her gaze back to the television wondering what she should say. It was a mistake. Her eyes widened at the couple on the screen and the woman cried out in a mixture of pleasure and agony. She couldn’t blame her because she would probably react the same if she were on the receiving end of what the woman on the screen was getting.

Suddenly the television screen went black and it was then that she noted he held the remote in his hand. If the small lamp in the far corner weren’t on she wouldn’t be able to see him.

“Scoot over here Kristina.”

She swallowed hard as her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room and she met his gaze. Emotions churned within her at the desire he wasn’t trying to hide in his eyes.

“Why?” she asked, struggling to get the single word out.

“Because we need to talk.”

She heard the edginess in his voice and for a long, endless moment, she didn’t say anything, and then, “I don’t think I should. If you touch me right now I know we won’t talk.”

“We can use more than our mouths to communicate with. We have been since the beginning in case you haven’t notice. So trust me on this, Kristina. We really need to talk. I think you will like what I have to say.”

She remained silent, knowing that if she closed the distance between them. The real conversation they needed to have would be put off. She wondered if he were doing it intentionally. As if he knew what she had to say might not bode well in his favor so if he kept her from saying it out loud they could continue on like they were.

She was good at practicing avoidance but even this was pushing the limit. He was still staring at her when she finally slid over toward him, coming to sit directly next to him. With a deep sigh and not knowing what to expect, she said, “What do you want to talk about?”

He leaned closer to her. “You aren’t close enough.”

She felt searing heat flow through her veins. “I can’t get any closer to you Robert. Not without climbing onto your lap.”

He gave her a sexy grin. “Exactly the point.” And then he reached out and lifted her into his lap.

She soon realized the massive size of his erection. It was protruding rigidly against her bottom. She placed her arm around his neck, which made her shirt gape open. Before she had a chance to pull it back together, Robert’s hands stopped her.

“No, I’m enjoying the view,” he said in a deep, husky voice.

The warmth of his touch on her skin sent shivers down her spine. He then leaned closer and gently dropped his head in the center of her chest and brushed a kiss there. Then she felt a flick of his tongue and a lick in that very spot. She could feel the area between her legs getting wet. A simple touch from him was all it took.

He suddenly shifted positions and she felt herself gently being pushed back against the sofa’s cushions with him looming over her. He had stretched her out on the sofa and had gotten on his knees beside it.

“What do you have to say in response to what I have said so far?” he asked, reaching out and unfastening the buttons on her shirt until it hung open revealing the satin bra underneath.

Kristina couldn’t keep the heat from suffusing her body when Robert’s gaze roamed over her semi-nakedness. And as she stared at him she saw his eyes darken even more and detected the exact moment his breathing changed.

He lifted his gaze and looked at her, forcing her to respond. “I think I agree.”

She paused mentally as she pondered what she just said. He was becoming an addiction and she wasn’t sure how long it would last. They really hadn’t made any ground rules. Hindsight told her it might have been a mistake.

All thoughts were suddenly pushed from Kristina’s mind when she felt Robert’s fingers settle between her legs. She recalled what had happened the last time he had touched her there. He pushed her panties aside without pause.

With the skill of his fingers, it wasn’t long before he had her entire body quivering. There was no doubt in her mind that his intimate touch was being branded on her brain. Sensations were roaring through her and she bit her lower lip to stop from crying out.

She met his gaze and saw the heated lust that darkened his eyes and knew they had to be a mirror of hers. He was purposely teasing her feminine core, making her want him to the point where she was almost ready to plead.

“You’re extremely wet, Kristina,” he said in a low, throaty voice as he continued to stroke her with expert precision. “Do you know what you are saying to me? What your body is asking of me?”

Take her to his bedroom and make her forget everything but his name, she hoped. Now.

He was looking at her expectantly. Did he really expecting an answer? She doubted her mind could form coherent words to give him one. Instead she forced herself to respond, “No, what is my body saying to you?”

“That I should taste you,” he murmured as she shifted removing her from his lap and settling her on the couch. He came to rest on his knees between her thighs. She lifted her lips at his urging and her panties disappeared quickly.

When he lowered his head between her legs it hit her that he had been serious. He was taking what he wanted. And when his tongue thrust out and gave her that first intimate touch, she felt boneless; pleasure of the most intense kind oozed through her pores.

“Robert.” She closed her eyes on a pleasurable sigh as he continued to kiss her in the most intimate way a man could. Even while part of her mind was telling her to resist him—to reach out and jerk his head up—the only thing she could do was reach out and grab hold of his head to hold it in place.

But the reality of it was that it didn’t look as though he planned to go anywhere anytime soon.

He was assaulting her with thorough, leisurely strokes of his tongue, relentless in his actions. And she was brazenly enjoying it. She became aware of the shiver that raced through her body, and his tongue probed deeper, becoming more insistent, ravenous.

She let out a passionate moan from deep within her throat. Her hands holding his head tightened as if to draw him closer and he continued going at her as if her taste was something he couldn’t live without.

Her body exploded, seemingly into a thousand pieces, and she let out a high-pitched cry as deep fulfillment seared through her. She realized his hold on her was just as firm as her hold on him. He had a unyielding grip on her thighs, not intending to let her go anyplace until he’d gotten his fill, and that thought sent her over the edge again.

Never in her life had anything happened to her like this before. Not so close together at least. With Robert it seemed to be the norm. Yet this just wasn’t normal, not for her and she wondered if it would have been normal for any woman.

She suddenly had a ephemeral thought that continuing this form of communication wouldn’t be bad if she got to experience something like this every time. She finally felt her body floating back to Earth when Robert lifted his mouth from her.

He raised his head to stare down at her while licking his lips in the process, and the gesture was so erotic she reached out and pulled his mouth to hers. She tasted herself on his lips, his tongue, leaving her with no doubt of how intense his intimate kiss had been. And then she felt her body being lifted into his strong arms and knew they would finish what they had started.

She pulled back slightly her eyes meeting his as they entered his bedroom. He stood her on her feet. She allowed him to undress her before reaching out to help him with his own clothes.

“You are so exquisite.”

She watched his hand stroke her nipples as he spoke, using the same fingers he’d used to stroke between her legs earlier. His fingers were moist as he spread her very wetness over the hardened peaks of both breasts. Another shiver, this one of pleasure, ran up her spine.

What was he doing to her?

“Robert…”

“Just close your eyes and listen to what my touch tells you.”

She did what he asked and the moment her eyelids fused shut she felt his tongue flicker out and capture a bud, flickering over it, tasting her before closing in and taking it fully into his mouth. Need, the kind she only knew with him, consumed her insides as she felt his mouth on her breasts, tasting and teasing her in a way that was simply his. He devoured one and then the other, almost depleting her of her wits, her reason and her self-discipline. And when his mouth found the smooth skin of her stomach and begin placing kisses all around it, she became lost within a vortex of sensations that had her giving in to pleasure of the most erotic kind.

His warm breath fluttered across her belly as he placed a kiss there. His non-verbal words were making her surrender to emotions she was trying to control and didn’t want to feel. They were also causing another deep hunger to take place inside her. Then she felt the warmth of his breath move lower, and she held still, knowing what he was about to do.

Again.

By now she should have grown accustomed to him kissing and caressing her there, but she wasn’t. It couldn’t be helped. He had a skill with his tongue whenever he went down on her that she just couldn’t control, deny or resist. Besides not much time had passed.

After what they’d shared she wasn’t sure she could withstand another onslaught of pleasure. She didn’t know if she could take her body exploding into a million pieces again. She opened her eyes to tell him but all she saw was his head, down between her legs and she could only close her eyes the moment his tongue flicked over her sensitive flesh. Automatically, her body came up off the bed still sensitive from the last release. He grabbed her hips, holding her to his mouth as he consumed her with a sense of hunger that left her panting for breath. She closed her eyes as sensations tore into her body once again.

She reached out for him, held his head in place, inviting him to go deeper, and he did, as his sinfully skilled and seductive tongue continued nonstop, increasing the pace, redefining the urgency. Her senses were being driven wild and her fingers threaded through his hair as he continued to barrage long, deep, drugging kisses into her.

“Yes Robert! Oh my . . .don’t stop. Oh yes,” she sobbed over and over as a powerful throb overtook her. And then she felt it, some part of her that his tongue touched, that sent her over the edge, fragmenting her into several pieces and making her shriek at the top of her lungs. Slowly, deliberately, he continued to bestow the intimate kiss on her as she felt waves of heated pleasures float all through her, and she continued to squirm beneath his mouth. She felt herself losing awareness, and the last thing she remembered after sighing his name was him pulling up and taking her into his embrace, holding her tight as if he would never let her go.