The late evening sun was making its final descent when Sydney arrived at her parent’s mausoleum for her weekly visit. She walked through the door and was immediately struck by the climate change. There had always been heaviness about the room but this time there was an element of lightness. Trepidation crawled down her spine as she unwrapped, heels clacking on the concrete floor. 


      “Dad,” she called. There was no answer, just the stillness. She waited, still his voice went unheard. Her heart began to race, her breathing unsettled.


      “Daddy,” she called again desperately.


      “You rang?” his husky voice answered.


      “What took you so long? I’ve been waiting here for almost thirty minutes waiting for you.” Relief and distress filled her voice.


      “I’m here, where am I going?”


      “How about answering me when I call you.”


      “Look who’s getting upset! You sure took your sweet time getting here today. The ground’s gates will be closing soon.”


      “Sorry, Mark and I had a late lunch,” Sydney said laying flat on the bench.


      “You two have been spending a lot of time together. That’s good. Maybe he’ll make an honest woman out of you.”


      “Who knows.” She shrugged.


      “You didn’t say no,” there was a smile in his voice. “Well, this is a change.”


      Her mood lightened exposing a bright, albeit unwilling, smile. “I don’t know, we’ll see how things going.”


      “He does sound like a good guy, Sydney.”


      “He is, daddy,” her voice heavy. “Before I met him, I couldn’t fathom that there was man with the capacity to hold all of my uncertainties. For all of my strengths, I had these whiny voices of insecurity in the back of my head telling me that I wasn’t good enough. But with him all of them go away. Daddy, he has given me hope that one day I’ll normal.”


      “Sweetheart, you are normal. There is nothing wrong with you. Has he tried to change you?”


      “No,” she admitted. “But he doesn’t know what I come here every Sunday to chat with you.” She laughed.

      “You come here because for years, I was all you had. As you open yourself up to Mark you won’t need me as much,” She tried to interrupt him but he continued. “I’m not saying that you don’t love me and your mother. I’m simply saying you will begin to trust him.”


      “I do trust him,”


      “Then I don’t understand why you are so afraid of being happy.”


      She inhaled sharply. “Because in my sorrow I know that you are here; I can hear you. I’m afraid that if I’m too happy….then I’ll loose you, like I lost mom. I can’t hear her anymore. She doesn’t talk to me.”


      “You can’t remember you mother’s voice because you were so young. You have her old records, play them, sing along but didn’t think she’s not looking over you. We’re not going anywhere but as you begin to build something special with Mark, you’ll see that coming here is meaningless. We are with you no matter where you are, Sydney,” he paused. 


      “Now, dry eyes and get your happy ass home to that man before it gets too late. I’ll talk to you next week.” He ordered warmly.


      “I can’t believe you’re rushing me off!” She chuckled.


      “Would you rather the groundskeeper kick you out?”


      “You’re right. I’d better go,” Sydney put on her coat and gloves. “I’ll be back next Friday. We’re leaving for Iowa Saturday morning.” 


      “Iowa? Why Iowa?” he asked.


      “He’s an Iowa farm boy. We’re going to see his folks.” She sighed.


      “What’s the matter? I sense there’s a story there.”


      “It’s complicated. He hasn’t spoken to his family in ten years. They aren’t as close as we are. They don’t understand our lifestyle.”


      “Do you think it was easy for me to explain our lifestyle to my parents? No, it was difficult but we muddled through it. They will do the same but you can not force the matter; support him but don’t force it. If he is against the meeting then you should back off.”


      “Fine,” she conceded. “Give my love to mom.”


      “I love you Sydney. And I have a feeling the next time you come, he’ll be with you.” 


                                               ******


Later that night as they lye asleep.



      Mark was awoken by Sydney’s constant movement. Attempting to settle her nerves, he took her into his arms resting her head on her chest. She pushed him away with violent force, turning her back to him.


      Now fully awake, he sat up turning on the bedside light. She lay in a quasi-fetal position weeping. 


      “Sydney, wake up honey.” He said softly rousing her, drying her cheeks. She awoke and curled trembling into Mark apologizing. Her bad dreams were becoming commonplace however this was the first time he’d seen her in this state. 


      “I’m so sorry, Mark.” She said woefully. 


      “Sydney, why are you apologizing to me?” he asked his body suffused with hers. 


      “I’m sorry for carrying on like this,” she held on to him for dear life. “Just hold me.” 


      “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not ever leaving you.” 


      “I know you won’t” she giggled through her tears. “You’ll allow me to drive you crazy before you leave me.” 


      He smiled down at her. “I wouldn’t go that far, I’m still a damn man. But I won’t let thing or anyone hurt you.” 


      “Promise?”


      “I promise. Get some sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”