TMI With Olga-Check Your No Doze Supply Folks!
- By Olga Coleman-Williams
- Published October 21, 2009
Olga Coleman-Williams
My hobby is that I work as an attorney in the northeast. My true profession, and the hardest work in the world, is that I am a mommy to four little boys. So the testosterone in my home can get to be a little much, especially when you throw my husband into the mix. So writing and reading about delicious romance and a lot of lovin' is my refuge. Hope you enjoy. I appreciate the feedback.
Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life?
Childbirth (the act of giving birth) without drugs (Hey! It’s not technically the kids). Childbirth gave me the clarity to know that all my extra-expensive education didn’t mean shit. At the end of the day you are still reduced to having, it seems, every person, however tangentially related to the hospital, have an excuse to get between your legs and look up your coochie.
Still the experience made me feel powerful and invincible on a very elemental level.
2. Ever Googled a date, a potential date or an ex?
Nope.
3. Do you gossip?
Not really. Usually anybody’s secrets are safe with me. My memory is so bad that I usually forget whatever anybody’s has told me (good and bad trait in my profession). Hey, I can barely remember my crap, you want me to remember yours crap too?
4. How many people do you completely trust?
I am going to be completely honest. I really can’t say I completely trust anyone with everything. (I have been treated roughly emotionally in the past). Wow, that was a tough sentence to write (Is this a therapy session?). Maybe I don't understand the question. I think I am a very introspective person, I look a lot to myself for answers-that maybe a function of being an only child.
5. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?
It a regular king sized bed. I sleep on the side nearest the door. (Wow, that was very Freudian)
6. Have you ever dated/married purely for money?
Nope! When we got married we owed all of creation, God and Sallie Mae. Now, with four kids, we are as broke as a joke. I am that rare breed of Attorney that doesn’t make any real money. For God’s sake, I work for a not-for-profit and have a tiny private practice. In the wild, you will see glimpses of us poverty stricken attorneys, not often, but we are out there-enough said.
7. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about? I am just glad when it makes it on the roll. Asking that it be turned up or down is just pushing it.
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19 Responses to "TMI With Olga-Check Your No Doze Supply Folks!" 
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said this on 21 Oct 2009 8:49:46 PM CST
I'm speechless. Simply speechless. The childbirth bit I can completely understand. When Eva was born, I swear the janitor caught a glimpse of the cooter that day. The bastard could have at least sent flowers.
You can have one of my siblings if that will make you feel better. You have have Pam...I've been trying to off her for years. She was my model for Sydney...:-o "nearest the door"? Are you running from your hubby? That's against everything in the Diva's handbook. Rule #15: No penis dodging allowed! Throw on the Prada pumps and take it. I came across one of those rare breed attorneys. But then the Southern Proverty Law Center turned him down and he went on to become the Greenwich living man I know and love. |
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said this on 21 Oct 2009 11:54:57 PM CST
Oh have mercy I'm on the floor!
"Rule #15: No penis dodging allowed! Throw on the Prada pumps and take it." Tracy you are a mess! Olga don't listen to her. It will only get you in trouble. Unless you like that sort of trouble... |
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 1:07:16 AM CST
Olga knows I'm looking out for her best interest. Need I pass around the handbook? There's even a section that says..."Olga, forgo your better judgment. Listen to Tracy. Put on the pumps"
Okay, that bit is written in blue crayon but it's still valid..:) |
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 5:13:09 PM CST
OMG! Olga, you got me on the floor! "A wiff" Olga? Bless your heart. Oh yeah! Pam is the evil sister...:)
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said this on 21 Oct 2009 9:50:51 PM CST
And you said this would be boring! Oh Olga my sides hurt from laughing.
"At the end of the day you are still reduced to having, it seems, every person, however tangentially related to the hospital, have an excuse to get between your legs and look up your coochie." Classic! Just classic. And people ask me why I am so content just being an aunt. |
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said this on 21 Oct 2009 11:07:55 PM CST
LOL about hospital experience, I think they pull people from the street...I slept through mine (high tolerance for pain) and threatened EVERY person that woke me up....
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 12:59:42 AM CST
Carol, I did the same thing! I thought I was the only one. I was pissy-mean!
Greg: "Honey, do you want ice chips?" Me: "No, I want you to back the hell up!" |
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 1:31:49 PM CST
Hehehehe.....hospital called security on me simply because I grabbed the nurse by her throat cause she kept waking me up asking do I feel any contractions....hell I was sleeping good, best sleep I'd had in weeks
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 2:36:12 PM CST
When my mom told me she did not feel any pain when she gave birth to her five kids I prayed like a was studying to be a Jesuit Priest.
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 2:39:54 PM CST
LMFAO!!! Nurses getting choked, husbands getting fired! What's going on IRE.net? We are real women...I haven't found another group of clever women who are so up and down...in and out...on and off as us.
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 2:49:12 PM CST
Hey Tracy what can I say, after being in labor for 2 months sleep was a skill I had to relearn.
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 3:08:33 PM CST
Haha...I did the same thing with my second...slept thru his labor...which the first one was like that but his head was just too big...steupse
'but Greg and I have the type of body chemistry that if he even catches a wiff of the goods-I'm pregnant.'- classic...did u fix his olfactory senses? LOL...i didn't have a baby making period...faulty contraceptive...no lie...i ask for 2 rubbers minimum now in addition to the pill...no more surprises for a while please |
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 9:54:58 PM CST
Pitkkin, I hear you, but the mere mention of a condom would send my hubby into a tizzy. He was so outraged that you would have thought I asked him to become a Roman Catholic Priest. But baby number four got him. Once I told him I was preggers for the 4th time, he went straight out and had some medical intervention. Shhhh, we are not allowed to mention the "V" word by name in my household. He says the psychological impact of the procedure still gives him nightmares. I told him to try childbirth. LOL
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 11:23:39 PM CST
Hilarious! Just Hilarious! Is this what I have to look forward to Olga?
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 9:36:23 PM CST
So good to be back on IRE. Now Olga dear, i love you in all. But the baby talk is killing me. I think i'm knocked up. Trust me, i got tricked by my slicky snake husband. It was not planned, i am so not ready for a baby. I am the only baby for now.
QUESTION #2: Yep, i googled my husband!!! Thank God it was all positive things i found out, never regret doing it. QUESTION #7: I swear if i did not adore my bathroom so much, i would put a big ass sign that says " FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET AND PUT THE FUCKING SEAT DOWN " I swear i should have my own TMI tuesday. |
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said this on 22 Oct 2009 11:27:39 PM CST
"Slicky Snake Husband"? I love it Heidi!
BTW you can't get knocked up if you're married to the man. He also can't be defined as your baby's daddy either. Don't feel bad Heidi, this "labor talk" is killing me as well. After the thoughts/experiences shared by Olga, Tracy and Carol, the man I marry would have to be a "Slicky snake" to get me in the family way... |
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said this on 23 Oct 2009 12:14:27 AM CST
Not if i did not plan it! So I got knocked up! lol. I'm jk!
The way he is going right now, he might just be a baby daddy!! |
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said this on 23 Oct 2009 12:23:41 AM CST
Cross your fingers i'm not. I'm buying seven of those home test tomorrow. Like Tracy said, two months is proof enough, but hey, i can hope for a miracle!
Oh no!! I'll stick to reading the stories and give my feedback. Thanks Olga, but no Thanks, Tracy would kick me out the same day! |
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said this on 25 Oct 2009 8:12:46 PM CST
Good luck...I remember those days. a pregnancy test everyday for an entire week, then various times during the day thinking that was the trick. The booties are in the mail...:)
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