The Thing My Husband Can Not Do
- By Tracy Ames
- Published October 25, 2009
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Greg, my hunk-o-hubby, is an unapologetic free-thinking academic. His ability to articulate the ineffable is truly staggering. His extrication skills are gold medal worthy. I trust his opinion when it comes to my work. But there is one thing my husband can not do.
Read my work.
I rely on his feedback on possible storylines, critiquing storyboards and developing characters. We are, if nothing else, extremely honest with one another so you see…I need him!
Since inviting you readers to our virtual bedpost, he's come to grips and now understands that my catharsis is writing; a way of inspecting the walls of my interior self.
But he won’t read my work!! He wasn’t always this way. He used to read my column. He used to look over my scenes. Then ‘it’ happened.
An aggressive case of blue-balls.
During a week long business trip to Montreal, I emailed him a piece I was working on. He read it and my phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Greg: You’re killing me
Since then he refuses to read my work! We can talk about the story as a whole but he runs like a girl when asked to read it. It really started to bother me so I went to my fellow female erotic authors. To my surprise they are through the same thing! It’s not just me.
What’s going on here? Why have our men jumped ship?
Read my work.
I rely on his feedback on possible storylines, critiquing storyboards and developing characters. We are, if nothing else, extremely honest with one another so you see…I need him!
Since inviting you readers to our virtual bedpost, he's come to grips and now understands that my catharsis is writing; a way of inspecting the walls of my interior self.
But he won’t read my work!! He wasn’t always this way. He used to read my column. He used to look over my scenes. Then ‘it’ happened.
An aggressive case of blue-balls.
During a week long business trip to Montreal, I emailed him a piece I was working on. He read it and my phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Greg: You’re killing me
Since then he refuses to read my work! We can talk about the story as a whole but he runs like a girl when asked to read it. It really started to bother me so I went to my fellow female erotic authors. To my surprise they are through the same thing! It’s not just me.
What’s going on here? Why have our men jumped ship?
Spread The Word
28 Responses to "The Thing My Husband Can Not Do" 
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said this on 25 Oct 2009 7:08:04 PM CDT
Tracy, I asked a male for input----> I let my hubby read some of your story he then got up and got my journal and pointed to a scene I wanted us to try. He stated that he doesn't want me to be disappointed if he doesn't meet my expectation and that is basically why he will read my journal scene's but its all good:)
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said this on 25 Oct 2009 9:08:11 PM CDT
Bravo Vicki! That's what I'm talking about! Jump right in and try some stuff for yourself. Tell your hubby that he shouldn't hav pedrformance anxiety...it's all good baby.
I'm so lovely the fact that you keep a journal. I've kept one since I was a little girl. |
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said this on 25 Oct 2009 11:55:27 PM CDT
Well Tracy James will not absolutely will not read "Pull my Hair" this story just kills him, which is why I send parts to him all the time, he says he constantly hears ME yelling "Oh hell yeah Jay pull my hair, pull it baby!!!" Since I want to try ALL the scenes I read he says he is going to ban me from your site and to tell Greg he feels his pain.
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 12:08:02 AM CDT
Lady, I'm on the floor. Kimberly messed alot of men up with that book, LOL! The first time I told Greg to pull my hair his mouth dropped. "Wait, I can pull your hair? I thought Black women did like their hair touched." Men!
The poor men. They're getting raped at home and have no clue what their women are up to. At least Greg sees it coming. But your hubbies are getting blindsided. I'll tell Greg he's not alone. |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 8:57:35 AM CDT
Hmm, I can imagine your work would be great fodder for single guys, but can't see it with those who're in stable/serious relationships. Here's why(in my opinion): Like Greg, those who're very confident and secure in their relationship, will "wanna fuck you through the wall" and those who're not terribly secured will "feel intimidated",( perhaps by the lack of forthcoming/openness in their relationships). I know life has many grey colours, but believe strongly that men (gay/straight) can't be placed in this way, given very very few exceptions. I can agree to the fact that there're grey areas amongst machos as oppose to nerds, but my mind (and experience thus far) boggles that it's deeper than that...........
Anyways, this is exactly why you need to continue this tmi blog. It makes for the most interesting, open and honest opinions/discussions. You're probably saving many relationships out there. I know you've helped me.....:-) PS: Hope I've made sense. Tend to forget my use of the English language... PSS: Have been reading, eg, many of the stories here by male authors and they tend to stick to one theme, which brings out their sexual selfishness...... |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 12:28:02 PM CDT
Yes, you made perfect sense. It's funny that you mention the single men that read my work. My single guys (SG) love my writing however I have received emails from them saying that it makes them wish for something they have yet to find. They wanted Tammy (The Secretary), Erica (Kept), and Monica (Fox & Hound)…..but for the most part they wanted Sydney (Beg Me).
To me this was a shocker. I thought they would have gone for Erica but that’s a whole different blog post. We’ll get to that later. I have found that the ones (married or single) who have criticized my work have been intimidated by it. Prime example: I received an email stating that females shouldn’t speak the way I do. It’s unattractive or dirty. To me these guys have control issues that have nothing to do with me, or they have a problem with women enjoying sex. The latter really stuck out as odd. They don’t want the woman to enjoy sex? So, isn’t that like rape or something? I will definitely continue the TMI blog post for as long as you guys read them. I don't think the guys are selfish as much as they write about what turns them on but I will allow my male writers address their ‘sexual selfishness’…:) Chat soon! |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 12:38:02 PM CDT
"Aerobic evening"....High five Olga! I'm not alone. I think they may be a little taken aback by what's going in our heads. After talking to my Greg last night, I was able to see his side of things. He was surprised to see how much of our romps end up in my stories but moreover he was amazed to see how much I remember after all this time.
But he still won’t read my work. He couldn’t give me a clear answer why but I know it had something to do with blue-balls. |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 1:14:28 PM CDT
Maybe I can shed some light in the room, James is a very sensual, sexual freak and make no excuses for what he likes sexually. His point is if you are open with your preferences to your partner EVERYTHING is on the table, if one person response is no then that's the end of it but we are competitive and we like to outdo the other.
Men or women will never find the "one" for them sexually if they cannot be honest with their needs, how can you expect someone to blow your mind when your mind is blocked to your needs. |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 2:07:53 PM CDT
You're right Carol. If people aren't honest about what they want then your needs won't be met. But with Greg it's not the case. I know I have a super-freak on my hands and maybe that's the thing. When we are apart on business trips it's a given that when we meet up again it's on! And he's extremely vocal about what he wants so this not reading my work is killin' me!
I'm beginning to think it's a mental block with him because he won't read my girlfriend's work either. mmmm, I'll have to keep an eye on him and record my findings for futher review. |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 5:46:47 PM CDT
well some autobiographic writer use their imagination too, maybe they become a character from their inspiration in each different storie collection or category, just a variation in all the complexity of each one
in fact we are each one multi, how it could be possible to read a reduction of each one, maybe each one could find his double or not, an interesting travel over the reality by the stories, just stories, well just a proposition, a point of view of course |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 8:50:26 PM CDT
So let me be sure I'm understanding you properly. That you're saying is it would be difficult for someone to read a reduction of themselves. And may be this is why Greg doesn't want to read my work.
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 3:24:04 AM CDT
because each one could change is way to act like a artist about the love subject, four seasons in a year for the nature symphony & 365 nights in a year to make the light born in the love like the stars in the sky
well an open way to read for the readers, but just imagine here with more & more authors with time it could become a rich source of inspiration, like too much beautifull women on earth for the little time life of one man, so thanks stories for the extra travel... |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 9:53:54 PM CDT
Oh thanks goodness Tracy! Here I was thinking I was the only author using real life scenes from my life.( I know. I belong in a loony bin right?).
Well for the exception of "Hard Working Man" and "A Chance Encounter" the rest of my stories have at least one scene that I have experienced in real life. Bet you can't guess which they are *sung in a sing-song voice* |
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said this on 26 Oct 2009 11:44:00 PM CDT
No Stephanie, you're not alone. I use my experiences because they're the easiest to remember. It's not to say that I can't use the my imagination but still. I have drizzled my friends tales in there as well...they love it. I gusss its a thing with seeing thmselves in print. I don't know.
Oh don't make my guess...we'll be here all night! |
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 12:09:19 AM CDT
Oh no, no, no. I will never kiss and tell.
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 3:35:16 AM CDT
please, please, please Steph what about the end of the year and maybe a storie about E.T. back on earth for some adventures, just a storie like a gift because E.T. could answer to all the want from the appetite dissatisfied of the women : because of his magic power of course...wink
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 10:36:22 AM CDT
Bill, you serious? E.T!!! LOL, LOL.
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 10:54:23 AM CDT
I forced Randy to read one of your stories Tracy. Just one story, he looked at me after reading it and walk away. So i am thinking" what the hell". So i walked in the bedroom and asked:
Me: what do you think Randy:you serious? Me:Yeah...come on dude Randy: Is she for real? me: what do you mean? Randy: her husband read her work ? I did not tell him the reason why i made him read it. I just told him he wasn't getting "any" if he didn't read it. Randy: poor guy...wait! so that's where you got that trick from!!! Me: (straight face) what thing..i dunno what you talking about. let's go to bed. we can try one of her scenes.... Randy: Unless you plan to fuck me all day at work;because i don't know how i can get that scene out of my head...no!! Im not sure what he meant by " poor guy", but i guess he said it all. |
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 12:06:46 PM CDT
LMAO!!! Heidi, you're a mess! Poor Randy...tell him I'm sorry. Threatened into reading my stuff, then used. Poor poor guy. I'm dying over here. LOL!
I'm beginning to thing this is the reason Greg won't read my work. We'd never get any work done. |
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 5:42:51 PM CDT
ewww Tracy and Heidi. Ya'll nasty!
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 5:49:37 PM CDT
What did I say? LOL! I didn't do anything. Hey, I've been married for a long time. I have to keep it new and exciting. I don't wanna wake up one day and look at Greg like "You still here?"
Then again I might try that tomorrow morning just to see his reaction. I'll bet it won't be pretty...then I'll blame it on Stephanie. Oh he loves him some Stephanie! |
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 9:20:07 PM CDT
You are a mess Tracy! Girl I swear I'm going to put that in the book. I'll be sure to dedicate it to you. Oh man I'm on the floor. "You still here?" Whew! That's classic.
And don't you put that on me when you say it. I don't have time for lawsuits and such. LOL! Greg likes me. Let's keep it that way. I can do no wrong in his eyes. Ha! |
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 11:11:32 PM CDT
Yeah right Steph!! You will be way nastier than us with your Mr right. I read all your books and short stories, and honey you are the queen of nastiness!!.
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 11:20:07 PM CDT
I know. Stephanie is trying to be all coy but we read her stuff...that doesn't just happen. No, it's something going on over there.
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said this on 28 Oct 2009 2:15:46 PM CDT
LOL! I'm loving it Heidi. Tracy is the Queen of Kink and I'm the Queen of Nastiness. Olga is the Queen of Pseudo Innocence. What a trio!
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said this on 28 Oct 2009 2:41:14 PM CDT
Damn skippy! My next vanity plate is going to be "Kinkster". I wanted "Bollocks" but for some reason Greg was against me putting balls on my Subaru.
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said this on 27 Oct 2009 9:23:01 PM CDT
You know Shae. I'm about to jump on board with you. So many people in my life are harping on me being single and successful.
Most of the time I'm too busy to think about and others I think about the horrific blind dates I've been set up on that I want to go hid in the corner any time a "potential perfect guy" is found. I told Tracy I was going to do a blog on this but I can't stop laughing about it long enough to get it typed up... |