“Why are you still single?”

I cringed but, looked him in the eye, and asked “Why are you still single? You’re 8 years older than me!”

Okay okay. So I might have overreacted, but seriously I have been asked this question too many times! For some reason when I am asked this question I feel like I am being judged and then like I must justify myself. Insane since I am usually a person who gives a flip about what you say or think.

So I stare across the table at this man who clearly never received a lesson on first date etiquette and contemplate what my answer should be...

“Well, you see, I was in a past relationship that ended a while back, then I decided I'd had enough with "sneaky snakes" and wanted to be by myself. To be alone, without the anal discharge (thanks Tracy). I only recently decided that I want to starting dating again."

Or: “I’m still figuring out what kind of person I want to be with (and after the question you just asked you clearly aren't it).”

These are all real responses that I’ve actually given that I’ll stand behind. But me being the over-analytical person that I am, it is the underlying question they’re not asking is far worse: “What’s wrong with you that has prevented you from finding a man by now?”

Okay, now seriously, if there was something terribly wrong with me, do you think I would tell you?

The first time I was asked this was a couple of years ago, while I celebrated New Years with a group of wonderful, single, and intelligent friends. I had broken up with a man I wasn't meant to be with on any level, two months before.

My girls are I were intent on having a good time, trying to pretend the room wasn’t filled with happy couples when a drunk and unfortunately attractive man stumbled by our table, did a double take, grabbed onto my friend Veronica’s chair for stability and slurred it out “Wha—at are all you boo-ta-ful women doing single?”

There it was. The question that we were trying not to think about, not that day. There was a moment of silence. And then, as the smart, sexy women we are, we counterattacked.

“We haven’t found anyone we like yet.”

"Oh, am I single? I didn’t remember. But thank you so much for bringing that up!”

“We’re happier this way!”

The waitress hovering nearby suggested loudly he buy us all a shot. We agreed. He sat down, had some tequila with us and we forgave him his rudeness.

The next time the question surfaced was on a first date. I probably replied in a combination of the above responses and added the comment to my mental list of his growing negatives checks. (I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to talk about your ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or ex-lover for two hours straight the first time I meet you!)

The thing is, it’s an offensive comment no matter who asks it. If my uncle or my aunt asked, I might be able to throw it off with a glib comment and a laugh and it wouldn't bother me. I would like to say a girlfriend would never ask that because we know better but unfortunately I can't. Probably because they are all getting married and squeezing out kids at an alarming rate.

I won't even get started on my mother who I love very dearly. At this point, I honestly think the woman doesn't care if I get married. She just wants grandchildren!