Follow-Up: Eva and Christopher
- By Tracy Ames
- Published November 29, 2009
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Hello Everyone,
This is just a follow-up to my “Christopher” blog post.
I forgot that Greg and his family have their annual croquet and squash day the Saturday following Thanksgiving so people start showing up to the house about 8am…including Christopher and his dad.
I’m thinking Eva is going to be downstairs having breakfast with them but clearly I’d misjudged my child. She was in bed sound asleep. I woke her up and told her that her company was here. Eva said she Twittered Greg and told him she’d be down around 10am and went back to sleep. I knew right then I had nothing to worry about. A fast-tail little hussie would’ve gone running downstairs.
Anyway, she made it down and she and Christopher played squash and Rock Band under the watchful eye of their dads…and Clinton was glued to her side. As far watching them to ensure there wasn’t any kissie touchy crap going on, it wasn’t necessary. I mentioned this in a comment I made on the first post that Friday night, Eva sat us down and said she was too young to be alone with boys and that she'd be uncomfortable if we weren't there.
Moving on to dinner. Greg and Ed, Christopher’s dad, watched them like hawks while Maria, the mom, laughed at them. Honestly, the kids were more like friends than anything. But they like each other.
We, both sets of parents, told them that we didn’t approval of them even considering going beyond friendship because Eva is too young and uncomfortable/incapable of handling what comes with boys of any age much less a sixteen year old. We will allow them to email, call one another and visit (now that we LOVE his folks) but Eva isn’t allowed to date until she’s sixteen.
Greg and I have to admit we really like Christopher. He’s a good kid and in a lot of ways reminds me of my brother Stan: quiet, excellent relationship with his folks, funny as hell, scholarly and athletic. We expected him to be the typical coddled WASPy brat but he wasn’t. His folks bought him an Audi for his sixteen birthday (yeah Greg’s heart skipped a beat when he dropped that bomb) however the keys to the car are tied to his grades. Straight As and the keys are his…one B and the keys are taken away.
You see, when dealing with children such as ours who have been handed everything since birth, we have to marshal their exploits. It’s too easy to hand them whatever they want, but this isn’t doing them any favors. This is how they develop the entitlement attitude that can’t stand. Luckily, Ed and Maria are very similar in that area. Besides Clinton, we’re both raising one child from WASPy families. We have to be careful not to spoil them.
So far, so good. The kids turned out great and Eva and Greg are peachy.
This is just a follow-up to my “Christopher” blog post.
I forgot that Greg and his family have their annual croquet and squash day the Saturday following Thanksgiving so people start showing up to the house about 8am…including Christopher and his dad.
I’m thinking Eva is going to be downstairs having breakfast with them but clearly I’d misjudged my child. She was in bed sound asleep. I woke her up and told her that her company was here. Eva said she Twittered Greg and told him she’d be down around 10am and went back to sleep. I knew right then I had nothing to worry about. A fast-tail little hussie would’ve gone running downstairs.
Anyway, she made it down and she and Christopher played squash and Rock Band under the watchful eye of their dads…and Clinton was glued to her side. As far watching them to ensure there wasn’t any kissie touchy crap going on, it wasn’t necessary. I mentioned this in a comment I made on the first post that Friday night, Eva sat us down and said she was too young to be alone with boys and that she'd be uncomfortable if we weren't there.
Moving on to dinner. Greg and Ed, Christopher’s dad, watched them like hawks while Maria, the mom, laughed at them. Honestly, the kids were more like friends than anything. But they like each other.
We, both sets of parents, told them that we didn’t approval of them even considering going beyond friendship because Eva is too young and uncomfortable/incapable of handling what comes with boys of any age much less a sixteen year old. We will allow them to email, call one another and visit (now that we LOVE his folks) but Eva isn’t allowed to date until she’s sixteen.
Greg and I have to admit we really like Christopher. He’s a good kid and in a lot of ways reminds me of my brother Stan: quiet, excellent relationship with his folks, funny as hell, scholarly and athletic. We expected him to be the typical coddled WASPy brat but he wasn’t. His folks bought him an Audi for his sixteen birthday (yeah Greg’s heart skipped a beat when he dropped that bomb) however the keys to the car are tied to his grades. Straight As and the keys are his…one B and the keys are taken away.
You see, when dealing with children such as ours who have been handed everything since birth, we have to marshal their exploits. It’s too easy to hand them whatever they want, but this isn’t doing them any favors. This is how they develop the entitlement attitude that can’t stand. Luckily, Ed and Maria are very similar in that area. Besides Clinton, we’re both raising one child from WASPy families. We have to be careful not to spoil them.
So far, so good. The kids turned out great and Eva and Greg are peachy.
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6 Responses to "Follow-Up: Eva and Christopher" 
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said this on 29 Nov 2009 10:17:22 AM CDT
I accredit a lot of her maturity and “cut the bull” attitude to her close relationship with Greg. Of course every mom wants to imagine that she’s done all work but I believe that if girls have a strong paternal bond, she’s less likely to be silly or go seek out that bond with other men/boys.
If more men understand the impact they have on their children’s lives, especially their girls, they’d hit pause and pay closer attention to them. Their daughters need to know that they can turn to their dads without fear of judgment. Because there’s nothing like being in a tight spot and calling your dad and saying, “Daddy, I need your help” and seeing him show up. Don’t get me wrong, boys need their fathers but it’s quite different for them. Girls rely on them in quite ways…mentally and emotionally. Sometimes just knowing their fathers are available makes all the difference. Fathers ARE the foundations…no, the blueprints by which their daughters build their future relationships with men. That’s not to demean the maternal role. It’s simply say that fathers play a major role in their daughters’ mental/emotional development and it would be unwise of them not to recognize that fact. |
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said this on 29 Nov 2009 5:17:55 PM CDT
Ah Tracy I know exactly what you mean about a daughter relationship with her father just a little history on our girls, my oldest adopted daughter was molested for 13 yrs of her life (we found her when she was 15) so she feared men in the worst way. We had so many women trying to help her but James determination to heal her heart is what began her journey to healing, he developed that father daughter bond with her, he always told her she could talk to him and since she was afraid for over a year they talked via email or IM all day every day.
It was just as you stated, she needed to know he would always be there no matter what and she can ask him anything. Around his birthday in 2007 she voluntarily touched a man for the first time in her LIFE when she hugged him, cried on his shoulders and thanked him for listening and being her father. To this day he will tell anyone this is the best gift he has received, as mothers our relationship with our daughter is strengthen by the love and solid foundation their fathers provide. Both of you are raising a daughter with so much inner beauty that she knew this was more than she could handle and sought out her parents in this issue. BTW tell Greg is doesn't matter how old Eva is she will always be his little girl, I know, my father is 81 I am 46 and I still will sit on his lap or just cuddle watching a movie with him. |
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said this on 30 Nov 2009 12:43:35 AM CDT
Oh that's heartbreaking. I don't understand how people cn molest children, it's beyond my understanding. I'm so proud of James. Most men wouldn't commit themselves to such a cause especially one where there was no blood relation. There is something innately different about father's who have solid relationships with their daughters...I can't put my finger on it.
Thank you very much. We're doing our best with her, but she's pretty solid as is. She's a very good natured kid. And you're right, you don't get too old to cuddle with your father. Eva is under her dad as I type. |
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said this on 29 Nov 2009 9:19:21 PM CDT
I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you Tracy. I am my Father's Daughter. All relatives have said when I was young and still to this day...you are your father's daughter.
What I share with my father is....wow...I don't have the words. But he is and always will be my DADDY! He is there whenever, wherever....all the time. How he was with me as I was growing up as shaped and molded me into the woman I am today. I used to always joke with my parents that if they ever got divorced (still together 41 years later), I'm going with Dad and Mom you can't stop me. Don't get me wrong. I love my Mother. I wouldn't be a lady (still a tomboy at heart), but my father was/is THE MAN and no one can tell me different. |
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said this on 30 Nov 2009 12:53:20 AM CDT
It's wonderful to see you and your dad have such a close bond. Let the other family members be jealous, you have your dad and that's what matters.
You sound exactly like Eva, however we have been forbidden to divorce EVER! Her daddy walks on water! He can do no wrong. |
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said this on 30 Nov 2009 12:38:37 PM CDT
I am a Daddies girl all the way at 27 i still call home just to tell him my issues. I love my mom dearly but it's just something i can't explain when i talk to my dad. We are so close that he knows when i'm sick before i call home.
We have so many similarities and mannerism that my mother is always in tears when she sees us together. because the man i am talking about is my stepfather he took on the role of father when him and my mom were just friends and my father walked out on us when i was 9 mths. I commend any man who is always there for there children guiding and protecting them. But i have a bigger respect for the ones who guide, protect and accepts a child thats not theirs. And even when they have there own never hesitate to tell you that your still there first. Carol I don't know your husband but he Ranks right up there with my Daddy |
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