The Importance of Being Earnest: Talk Dirty To Me!
- By Tracy Ames
- Published January 29, 2010
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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My Friday Rant!!
In my mind there’s nothing worse than silent sex...zero, nothing, nil from the peanut gallery. Why are some men reluctant to talk dirty in bed? Or out of bed for that matter. Men aren’t alone in their silent musing, some women steer clear of dirty banter as well, however I’ll be focusing on the men.
Personally, I wanted a man who could articulate his needs and wants—nothing gets me hotter than a man telling me exactly how I'm making him feel at that exact moment. And dirty talk during foreplay builds anticipation and there’s nothing hotter than anticipating what’s going to happen. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you plan on doing to me. Just say something for goodness sake!
There’s nothing sexier than a man who's not afraid to share his fantasies. For a guy to verbalize what’s going on inside of his head takes balls of steel because, sadly, men are accustomed to being told “No!” or “You can’t call me that!” . They shut down. Ladies this is where we can help them: Give him free reign, let him go bananas.
In our bedroom there are only three words off the table: The N-word which he’d never use, Cunt, and Stupid. It’s pretty obvious why those words have been sidelined…no need to go into it.
To The Men:
Words and sounds are erotic stimulus. I’m not talking about porn inspired fake screaming or Shakespearian like sonnets. Those are the two extremes. All most women require is one or two moans or groans. This is especially important if she’s blowing you…don’t just lay/stand/kneel there like a paraplegic… throw her verbal high-five of appreciation for services rendered.
I can’t speak for all women but I will say this: I like when Greg tells me what he wants—faster, slower, harder, softer. His feedback let’s me know I’m turning him on. And I'd venture to say most women feel the same way.
Think back to the Sam’s scene in “Beg Me: Part Four. Why was that scene popular? They weren’t having sex in Sam’s. It was because Mark’s words got into Sydney’s head. Here’s a hint: Women like it! Have another read and get some ideas. Talking dirty during sex is smokin’ hot! It doesn’t have to be super dirty! One of the sexiest things Greg has ever whispered in my ear during sex was “Damn, baby. You look so good with no clothes on.”
My orgasm went through the roof and hasn’t been seen since!
Throw us a bone while you’re throwing us the bone! Say something, anything. Don’t just flop about like a fish out of water, gasping for air before succumbing. Give us our just due fellas…render me my song damn it!!
Okay, a bit melodramatic but my point was made.
In my mind there’s nothing worse than silent sex...zero, nothing, nil from the peanut gallery. Why are some men reluctant to talk dirty in bed? Or out of bed for that matter. Men aren’t alone in their silent musing, some women steer clear of dirty banter as well, however I’ll be focusing on the men.
Personally, I wanted a man who could articulate his needs and wants—nothing gets me hotter than a man telling me exactly how I'm making him feel at that exact moment. And dirty talk during foreplay builds anticipation and there’s nothing hotter than anticipating what’s going to happen. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you plan on doing to me. Just say something for goodness sake!
There’s nothing sexier than a man who's not afraid to share his fantasies. For a guy to verbalize what’s going on inside of his head takes balls of steel because, sadly, men are accustomed to being told “No!” or “You can’t call me that!” . They shut down. Ladies this is where we can help them: Give him free reign, let him go bananas.
In our bedroom there are only three words off the table: The N-word which he’d never use, Cunt, and Stupid. It’s pretty obvious why those words have been sidelined…no need to go into it.
To The Men:
Words and sounds are erotic stimulus. I’m not talking about porn inspired fake screaming or Shakespearian like sonnets. Those are the two extremes. All most women require is one or two moans or groans. This is especially important if she’s blowing you…don’t just lay/stand/kneel there like a paraplegic… throw her verbal high-five of appreciation for services rendered.
I can’t speak for all women but I will say this: I like when Greg tells me what he wants—faster, slower, harder, softer. His feedback let’s me know I’m turning him on. And I'd venture to say most women feel the same way.
Think back to the Sam’s scene in “Beg Me: Part Four. Why was that scene popular? They weren’t having sex in Sam’s. It was because Mark’s words got into Sydney’s head. Here’s a hint: Women like it! Have another read and get some ideas. Talking dirty during sex is smokin’ hot! It doesn’t have to be super dirty! One of the sexiest things Greg has ever whispered in my ear during sex was “Damn, baby. You look so good with no clothes on.”
My orgasm went through the roof and hasn’t been seen since!
Throw us a bone while you’re throwing us the bone! Say something, anything. Don’t just flop about like a fish out of water, gasping for air before succumbing. Give us our just due fellas…render me my song damn it!!
Okay, a bit melodramatic but my point was made.
Spread The Word
15 Responses to "The Importance of Being Earnest: Talk Dirty To Me!" 
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 12:52:36 PM CDT
heheh Tracy...I like. I like it when a man lets me know that I'm driving him crazy, and how good I feel. I like to reciprocate in that aspect too - telling him that he's doing me exactly right!
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 4:41:59 PM CDT
Dirty talk is blazin' hot! I wonder why more men don't do it. I wish I could get inside of their heads. I'm with you, I'll dish it out as well. How are we supposed to know if we getting it right if he doesn't say anything?
Even worse are the ones who CAN'T talk dirty, too stiff..."Oh yes...nearly there...wait...nope...not yet but nearly." What the heck! They sound like old British men. |
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 6:05:45 PM CDT
I like dirty talk..It gives me something to look forward to..I would get all kinds of dirty text messages from the guy I was seeing then when we got together it was hot like fire!!!! Keep the dirty talk coming...
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 6:29:25 PM CDT
No problem Olga! Your hubby is going to kill you.
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 7:38:38 PM CDT
From someone who comes from a country where most of the women are prudes, there's nothing better than hearing from a sexually confident and comfortable woman who is not afraid to admit that she likes her face slapped and to be called a Slut in the heat of the moment. Girls, trust me... Guys LOVE that.... Don't be afraid of your inner Slut..
On that and another note, Tracy. Don't demonise further the word cunt.... It was acceptable in society and literary circles far before we came along. If its good for Shakespeare, it should be good for you... Plus, there's nothing like pulling some obedient girls hair from behind, as your pound away and whisper in their ear how much of a dirty cunt they are as you fill their arses with thick meat.... I'm sorry, where was I? X |
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 8:39:02 PM CDT
Oh Mark, I think I had an orgasm. ;-) You're right, a confident woman can embrace her inner slut without trampling on the femy in her.
I think more women are becoming more comfortable with their dirty side. Even amongst my prude friends Kinky sex is becoming the norm. You know what? It's not the word 'cunt' that gets to me. I don't know, we'll revisit this topic once I have a chance to sort out how I really feel about it. :) |
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 8:04:15 PM CDT
yeah but my hubby takes out the bedroom too...embarassing...no I am not going to drop to my knees in the store...the car yes..hhahah
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 8:42:32 PM CDT
LMAO! Girl, don't do it in the store...PLEASE! But there's nothing wrong with the car. Greg does the same thing to me...in the market...PTA meetings...family functions...he doesn't care.
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said this on 29 Jan 2010 11:46:24 PM CDT
WELL NOT SURE IF I AM QUALIFIED TO REPLY, BUT HERE MY 2 CENTS, THERE ARE TIMES THAT I GET SO CAUGHT UP IN "PUTTING IN WORK"/SERVICING MY LADY THAT AT TIMES I CATCH MYSELF BEING SO "IN TO IT" IM SILENT. BY NO MEANS DOES IT MEANS IM NOT TURNED ON, AS IF THAT WAS THE CASE THERE WOULD BE MORE OBVIOUS SIGNS *LIMP STICK*.
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE DOMINATE ONE IN THE BEDROOM, AND LOVE TO RUN THINGS, WITHOUT COMMUNICATION THAT WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE, SO I GUESS WITH ME THERE HAS TO BE A BALANCE. IM NOT TRYING TO HAVE ONE LONG RUN ON SENTENCE TO WHERE IT KILLS THE MOOD AND OR COMES OFF AS PHONY, BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO BE ABLE TO HEAR THE MAIL MAN OPENING AND CLOSING MAIL BOXES OR KIDS PLAYING ACROSS THE STREET. AS FOR THE CONTEXT OF THE TALK. NOTHING IS MORE OF A TURN ON THAN HEARING YOUR WOMAN TELL YOU, YOU KILLIN IT, AND VIS VERSA. ALSO TO NO ONE KNOWS THEIR BODY BETTER THAN THEMSELVES, SO COMMUNICATING NOT ONLY ARROUSES, BUT IT ALMOST GUARANTEES MUTUAL PLEASURE. THE ONLY TIME I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING IS WHEN IM BOUT TO NUTT. LOL, BUT THEY CATCH ON TO THAT QUICK, CAUSE NOW WHEN I GET QUIET THEY KNOW. IN THE END I FEEL WHATEVER MAKES YOUR PARTNER FEEL EXCITED AND PLEASED ITS YOU DUTY TO FULFILL THAT. TRUST I WOULD NOT BE AS GOOD AS WHAT I DO, HAD IT NOT BEEN THROUGH SEXUAL DIRECTION, CORRECTION AND RECOGNITION. NOR WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR MY PARTNER TO GO FROM AVERAGE TO ALL STAR, IF SHE DIDNT KNOW WHAT I LIKED, REALLY LIKED AND EVEN MORE IMPORTANT DISLIKED. |
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 12:15:33 AM CDT
Well Damn, Ray! I think you're more than qualified to reply and thnk you for doing so. I bet she doesn't catch on quickly...once she gets surprise blasted once it'll never happen again. Look for the signs, LOL!
The phony porn speak gets on my nerves and you're right, it kills the mood. But laying there like a mute sucks balls. Maybe it's the dominate thing women get off on...I can't really say for certain however the more a man knows you're enjoying it the more willing he'll be to "put in work". ;-) But being a dominant in bed must include dity talk. It's about doing what it takes to make sure the other person is happy. What better way to figure it out? Talk dirty, let me know what's going on, send up a Bat Signal! It has to pretty sad to have a lady just laying there with a vacant look on her face. Well that's the way we feel when men don't say anything. |
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 8:04:09 AM CDT
Fuck yeah Tracy!! You said it all. It does no have to be hardcore shit, but he should tell us what he is feeling and give us some feedback on what we are doing. Shit, I'll let him know" just like that" or "shit daddy...i can't take it", that right there make him go crazy, makes ME go crazy. There are other words, can't say them, then this blog will turn into something else. Bottom line is fellas start talking!!!
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 8:29:22 AM CDT
Thank you Heidi. I don't even want to know what you and Randy have going on in the bedroom, LOL!
Sexy talk doesn't have to be hardcore...just a little will do. If I tried to lay there silent Greg would kick me out of bed. And you're right, our own words make us hot! How funny is that? |
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 9:02:44 AM CDT
LOL, Tracy don't say that name!!! Not for a while please. I need a Christian more than a Randy. It's funny...is that a bad thing?
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 9:21:30 AM CDT
Oh! I won't say his name. It's not a bad thing. I'll give you a Christian...:)
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said this on 30 Jan 2010 6:37:32 PM CDT
your right tracy! ive BEEN KNOWN to fucked a bebe blouse up here and there in my days. lmao! SURPRISE!
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