Me, My Mother-In-Law, and The Love Below (aka My Cooter)
- By Tracy Ames
- Published March 29, 2010
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Before I begin, let me give you some background information on my mother-in-law. She is the quintessential WASP. A real platinum spooned, tea swigging, trust fund baby. Spoiled to the bejesus, she is. But she also holds two doctorates, she’s extremely generous with her time and she’s the freakin’ best mommy-in-law ever!
Momma Ames and I haven’t always gotten along. Being her oldest son, Greg was expected to marry into a White WASP family and have little WASP babies for her to spoil. Ha! He married into a Black WASP (I know, oxymoron) family and has one living child.
Black WASP aka My Family
It took us a few months to get over the ‘Black’ speed bump however there’s still the question of babies. We’ve had a few miscarriages over the years and Momma Ames has taken them hard. The last one really devastated her because I was so far along.
But this isn’t the reason we’ve clashed. Our difference lies in her overbearing need to control my cooter. She wants a grandchildren (grandsons really) like no tomorrow. Eva is the apple of her eye but she wants more, lots more. Mistakenly, I thought BC would fill the void but no; it has to be ‘our’ baby. Mind you, this is the same woman who told Greg he was a sex addict because of our frequent lovemaking. Permission to roll eyes granted.
Our Families Together...Bloody Sad
Back to “The Love Below”. For the past year Greg and I have been in agreement: If another baby comes we’ll welcome it but we’re not trying anymore. Greg has since changed his tune…as have my parents.
I tried the “We’re adults. Back off!” approach. I’ve tried just about everything. Yet still, when the smoke clears, Momma Ames is standing akimbo asking for her babies. I’d probably slap her if I didn’t adore her so much.
Momma Ames and I haven’t always gotten along. Being her oldest son, Greg was expected to marry into a White WASP family and have little WASP babies for her to spoil. Ha! He married into a Black WASP (I know, oxymoron) family and has one living child.
Black WASP aka My Family
It took us a few months to get over the ‘Black’ speed bump however there’s still the question of babies. We’ve had a few miscarriages over the years and Momma Ames has taken them hard. The last one really devastated her because I was so far along.
But this isn’t the reason we’ve clashed. Our difference lies in her overbearing need to control my cooter. She wants a grandchildren (grandsons really) like no tomorrow. Eva is the apple of her eye but she wants more, lots more. Mistakenly, I thought BC would fill the void but no; it has to be ‘our’ baby. Mind you, this is the same woman who told Greg he was a sex addict because of our frequent lovemaking. Permission to roll eyes granted.
Our Families Together...Bloody Sad
Back to “The Love Below”. For the past year Greg and I have been in agreement: If another baby comes we’ll welcome it but we’re not trying anymore. Greg has since changed his tune…as have my parents.
I tried the “We’re adults. Back off!” approach. I’ve tried just about everything. Yet still, when the smoke clears, Momma Ames is standing akimbo asking for her babies. I’d probably slap her if I didn’t adore her so much.
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17 Responses to "Me, My Mother-In-Law, and The Love Below (aka My Cooter)" 
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said this on 29 Mar 2010 3:28:17 PM CDT
Oh Tracy, you just threw that in there about miscarriages. A few?. Goodness, lady, many (cyber) hugs. It's amazing how when one stops dwelling the unexpected comes. I'll be wishing this for you, Greg, Eva and mum-inlaw. All the very very best. Big kiss!
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said this on 29 Mar 2010 3:54:56 PM CDT
Aw, you're so sweet. I've had four miscarriages and one blighted ovum. The last miscarriage was this past April. You know how everything seems to hit you all at once? Well this was one of those times. I wanted to hung it up. But we made it through. Poor Momma Ames was a wreck! Now she's minding my cooter again. :)
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said this on 29 Mar 2010 3:48:01 PM CDT
I'm wishing this for you too. I have a sis in law that had been trying to have a baby too. She too has had numerous miscarriages. The last time she was pregnant she didn't tell any of us until she got past her 1st trimester. The very next week she lost the baby, they were devastated. My oldest daughter is her god child, so they treat her as their own.
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 4:47:10 AM CDT
Oh that's horrible. We lost our last one 5.5 months in. I thought Momma Ames was going to have a breakdown.
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said this on 29 Mar 2010 5:59:12 PM CDT
I always find it weird that women who don't need to be parents, who don't even need to own a dog have babies like babies are going out of style. And people who would wonderful parents (e.g. you and Greg) have such a hard time. It's a shame and unfair. I'm always thankful my mom has totally left me alone about babies but I'm a type 1 diabetic which doesn't mean I couldn't have one but it's not easy and now that I'm 37 it just gets harder. So she never pressured me. My ex-husband never wanted children neither did I and I was glad we didn't have them because I might still be stuck with that fool. My sweetie and I talk about it and discuss everything that goes along with that including the risk so no decision yet. I wish you guys luck but no matter who says what you have to do what's right for you. I cannot know what it must be like to have a miscarriage and how hard it must be. The gentlemen who works with my mother his wife had a miscarriage and he had a full mental breakdown and was out of work for awhile. That's a lot to go through and the prospect of having another miscarriage is probably very real for you so just do what's right for you.
And having sex with your wife all the time ain't sex addiction, that's a dang good marriage, that's what that is. LOL. |
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 5:15:40 AM CDT
Maybe it was a good thing you didn't have kids with your ex. You seem so happy with your new sweetie. You need more sleep but you're happy. :)
You bring up a good point: Just because you can have children doesn't mean you should. I have seen some piss poor parents in my time. I'll have to write a blog post about it...it's way too long. Yeah, lots of sexytime does make a good marriage but Greg Ames has his mom worried! lol! She rolls her eyes and walks off. I insisted on no sex during of engagement...Ha, you should have seen his face. |
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 3:03:26 AM CDT
I am sorry for your losses Tracy. I don't know if I understand her desire to have "your" son but that is how it goes sometimes, it was the reverse with my mother I was the first girl after 23yrs then after me all boys as they thought she could "do it again". Sometimes others do not realize the unwanted pressure to "perform" but I think the both of you moving to the place of letting it happen or not will relieve your stress level and let what come what may.
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 5:30:24 AM CDT
Greg is the family key holder so everything is 'our' and 'we'. My cooter effectively belongs to the family. When Eva was born, people flooded the hospital. Both moms and my grandmother moved in. Greg and I were written out of the picture. *smh*
Pressure to perform! That's an understatement. Girl, I'm getting it from both sides including my grandma! Whose side is she on anyway? Even BC wants babies. |
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 6:20:44 PM CDT
I think it is part of our mothers DNA to want grandkids (not me nuh no way no how) so sometime they don't realize they are adding stress. As for BC he may want to get the "he's the baby" spotlight off him, maybe allow him to get away from being called or told he is a/the "baby" so he can't do that or have that he wants to feel like a big boy.
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 5:16:29 AM CDT
Tracy I am so sorry about your losses. I let my aunt read it and it was so familiar to her for she when through the same thing. Yet, it happened for her and my uncle and she said it will happen for you especially with your mother-in-law on her guard. So she said have all the fun in the trying---> she said that's the best part:)
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 5:39:28 AM CDT
Thank you, Vicki. I'm glad your aunt and uncle were able to sort things out. Greg and I are...well having fun. ;-)
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 7:05:44 AM CDT
I'm so sorry about your losses. The same thing happened to my sister.
She had quite a few miscarriages before my niece was born. Even then she came early, and had to stay in the hospital for about 3 months. So just keep on doing what you are doing. It will happen for you. You have to believe that. |
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 6:27:07 PM CDT
So Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. My mom has two before my sister was born and one of my cousins had a stillborn a week berfore her due date. So i've seen how rough it can be to go through. Wishing you and Greg many more childern in the furtue.
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said this on 30 Mar 2010 9:00:31 PM CDT
Tracy, sorry to hear about your losses. I wish you and Greg success and lots of fun getting there.
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said this on 31 Mar 2010 7:42:03 AM CDT
Thanks Pam! Oh we're having a blast! Things work be fine.
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said this on 05 Apr 2010 9:39:01 AM CDT
It will happen. If you pray, pray on it and then leave it to Him! But the pressure is probably a headache!
But I am sorry for what you have gone through. |