For the last month and a half I’ve been working my butt off. Not eating, not sleeping, and not taking care of myself. Yesterday was an eye opener.

Greg and the guys took off for Berlin Sunday night for Lawrence’s stag week so my sister Pam came in town to help out. Before leaving Greg kept urging me to get some rest and eat—don’t take everything to heart.


Well, I didn’t get any rest or eat and I did (do) take things to heart. I’m stressed about the problem with the printers which thankfully is resolved. I’m stressed about the looming in-store release. I’m stressed period.


Pam took Eva and BC into NYC yesterday leaving me home alone. After finishing my edits for the night, I hopped in the shower and suddenly as I’m washing my hair I can’t breathe, I’m seeing spots, and then I pass out.


Right there in the shower…gone.


I can’t recall how long I was out but when I came around my whole body tingled, my heart was pounding and couldn’t breathe. I stumble from the bathroom, fell on my bed and hit ‘call’ on my cell phone…redialing the last person I called which was Olga. She didn’t answer so I lay there willing myself not to die.


Luckily Olga called back within minutes and stayed with me until Pam made it home. Thank God for good friends! I went to the doctor this morning only to have him tell me something I already knew: I’m stressed and need to relax.


So, today I did. I updated my Facebook page once, talked to Olga and another girlfriend, called the contribution center to verify that my shipment of book had been sent and I slept without feeling guilty that I was sleeping. Yes, there were things I should’ve been doing but I didn’t and it felt good.


I woke up guilt-free, went to the market and cooked and ate dinner, and talk to my friends. That’s it! Greg took it well. I expected him to over react and fly home but he didn’t fuss too much. Yes, he was antsy but I begged him to stay for another day. He’ll be home tomorrow night.


It took passing out to open my eyes. I’m only one person, I can’t handle everything, and I have to stop worrying about things I can’t control. I’m not pushing myself to the point of collapse anymore. Maybe in the retelling of my experience someone else who's pushing themselves will stop and rest.