I know, gross title but you'll see the meaning soon enough.


I rarely send out Facebook friend request so if you received one you should consider yourself lucky.


That statement doesn’t mean there’s anything overly grandiose about me. No, not at all. It’s to say there was something special about you that caught my attention. I like unique people, odd balls, free thinkers, people with personalities who love life and those figuring it out along the way.


Hell, I’m a walking contradiction! I’m a silver spoon hippy—turn computer geek—turn government hack—turn erotic writer. What part of that trajectory doesn’t scream ‘unique’?


I digress.


A few weeks ago, I came across a lady in one of the professional SQL groups I belong to. She and I comment on the same advice threads all of the time however we’ve never spoken/chatted with one another. She’s the typical middle aged computer nerd, definitely not the type guys befriend simply to hit on.


From time to time, she’d mention being bored or lonely so I finally sent her a friend request because she honestly seemed like an interesting person. Besides, my page is pretty diverse; we laugh and chat and if nothing else she’d meet new people.


The next day I received an email from her stating: “Wow, I had a look at your profile. We have a ton in common. You’re into ballroom dancing and photography, so am I. However, I’m not into erotica of any kind so you best find someone else to be friends with.”


As erotic writers we’re supposedly conditioned for negative reactions to our profession but I’ll admit to being a little hurt. Clearly, she took the time to read my profile, she had a general idea of my interest, we’ve belonged to the same group for over a year, she knows I’m a SQL expert…shit, I’ve fitted her problems!


Still, she couldn’t see pass my chosen profession. I’m more than the words I write and it really saddened me that she didn’t see that. I’m sure she’s used to being judged based on her looks and intelligence…sad she judged me when I was just trying to be nice.


Anyway, I deleted the email and moved on. Then a few days later she emailed me again and apologized for her statement. She did some research and saw who I was.


“Saw who I am”!? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does me being real author, not a pervert peddling smut, suddenly deem me worthy of civility? I asked as much. No, she said, she didn’t realize who I was.


Here’s the thing: I take people for who they are. Period. Race, religion, age, appearance, status, and background have nothing to do with why I invite you into my circle…it’s your character. You can’t gauge someone’s character based on appearances or their profession. This is especially true given the economy; more folks are forced into new areas to make ends meet.


This post isn’t a shot at her as we’ve chatted and are okay now. I write this to say look closer before you judge people. That little eye roll you believe to be an attitude problem might just be that person’s way of saying “Lawd, I’ve had a rough day and need a friend”.


Gotta run before Greg takes my laptop away. :( . I'll have to tell you about P.F. Chang's tomorrow. Goodnight!