"Finding My Freedom" Is Now Available...Read Here First
- By Tracy Ames
- Published June 19, 2010
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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Good evening folks,
I've post my very first full Femdom story entitled "Finding My Freedom". For those of you who just winced, it's not what you think...have a read. :) I may have touched on this topic before but I wanted to feel it up again.
Per Wiki:
Female dominance (or Femdom) refers to the BDSM relationships or BDSM scenes where the dominant partner is female. A dominant woman may often be called a domme, femdomme, domina, or dominatrix. A female dominant in a master/slave relationship is often called the mistress.
*Cringe*
This may sound a little strange coming from a Domina but I don’t care for Femdom….or not in the strictest of definitions. The reason I don’t like Femdom is because I don’t like weak men. Even when I’m in full Domina mode I like to know the guy I’m playing with has self-worth. In scene is where he let’s go, but underneath he’s still kick-ass!
Don’t kiss my feet. Don’t call me Mistress. Don’t curl on a blanket like a puppy. I don’t get off on seeing a man broken purely to satisfy my ego*. And you’ll never see me attempting to do a guy up the bum! No way, no how!
The drawn to Kink, and Dominadom, for me was the healing aspect; helping someone find a release. And contrary to popular belief sex has little to do with it. It’s more about trust than anything. Yes, trust is built over time…this is where rules, rituals, and restrictions come into play by providing consistency. Once the foundation is in place then you begin exploring limits. I don’t like rules but in Kink they are a most.
Back to Femdom.
Honestly guys, it’s difficult to put into words how I approach Kink and Dominadom. I can say that approach mirrors Sydney’s from “Beg Me”. Not very physical but we get our point across**. I don’t go into a scene ready to rip the guy to ribbons. I don’t engage in walking guys around on chains. Actually it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, and as a Top, I have to maintain control. Comfort and control go hand and hand.
Long blog post short, this is why I don’t care for Femdom in the strictest definition of the word. I prefer the softer approach; the Kink rather than the BDSM approach. Can I write and teach the hardcore stuff? Yes, I had a wonderful mentor who taught me varying style however I perform what I feel personally comfortable with.
* Broken skittish men freak me out and make me cry. All I wanna do is hold them.
** In the full length book I’ll go into why she and Mark choose their areas of expertise.
I've post my very first full Femdom story entitled "Finding My Freedom". For those of you who just winced, it's not what you think...have a read. :) I may have touched on this topic before but I wanted to feel it up again.
Per Wiki:
Female dominance (or Femdom) refers to the BDSM relationships or BDSM scenes where the dominant partner is female. A dominant woman may often be called a domme, femdomme, domina, or dominatrix. A female dominant in a master/slave relationship is often called the mistress.
*Cringe*
This may sound a little strange coming from a Domina but I don’t care for Femdom….or not in the strictest of definitions. The reason I don’t like Femdom is because I don’t like weak men. Even when I’m in full Domina mode I like to know the guy I’m playing with has self-worth. In scene is where he let’s go, but underneath he’s still kick-ass!
Don’t kiss my feet. Don’t call me Mistress. Don’t curl on a blanket like a puppy. I don’t get off on seeing a man broken purely to satisfy my ego*. And you’ll never see me attempting to do a guy up the bum! No way, no how!
The drawn to Kink, and Dominadom, for me was the healing aspect; helping someone find a release. And contrary to popular belief sex has little to do with it. It’s more about trust than anything. Yes, trust is built over time…this is where rules, rituals, and restrictions come into play by providing consistency. Once the foundation is in place then you begin exploring limits. I don’t like rules but in Kink they are a most.
Back to Femdom.
Honestly guys, it’s difficult to put into words how I approach Kink and Dominadom. I can say that approach mirrors Sydney’s from “Beg Me”. Not very physical but we get our point across**. I don’t go into a scene ready to rip the guy to ribbons. I don’t engage in walking guys around on chains. Actually it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, and as a Top, I have to maintain control. Comfort and control go hand and hand.
Long blog post short, this is why I don’t care for Femdom in the strictest definition of the word. I prefer the softer approach; the Kink rather than the BDSM approach. Can I write and teach the hardcore stuff? Yes, I had a wonderful mentor who taught me varying style however I perform what I feel personally comfortable with.
* Broken skittish men freak me out and make me cry. All I wanna do is hold them.
** In the full length book I’ll go into why she and Mark choose their areas of expertise.
