More Than You Ever Thought Safe To Know About Me
- By Tracy Ames
- Published July 18, 2010
Tracy Ames
My name is Tracy Ames. I’m an author of interracial erotic fiction. My stories are a sensual feast for your senses; mind, body and soul.
I began writing short stories for monthly newsletters and, believe it or not, my friends. After much encouragement, I’m ready to offer you a taste of what only a few have previously savored.
A native of the San Francisco Bay area, I currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with my husband, young daughter and a host of pets.
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I received an email from a reader wanting answers to two pressing questions:
How and when I discovered my Dom nature and does it impact me romantically?
That side of me has always been there however it wasn’t until my late teens when I start experimenting. Nothing sexual, mind you—I was more or less dipping my toes into the cultural aspect of Kink. Then I began dating a guy who was the total Alpha male by day and submissive at night.
We would role played and I slowly realized we weren’t ‘playing’. Somehow we’d slipped into a D/s relationship. I could catch his eye from across a crowded room and see a physical change in his behavior. I was sold!!
Not long after that I decided to go for formal training as a Domina. I studied with two Doms before meeting the Dom that changed my life, Brendan. He taught Kink in its purest unsullied form.
Now, before I’m accused of being a control freak in heels, let me point out that being submissive is extremely powerful and erotic. Strictly speaking about the sexual side of Kink, there is a feeling of liberation that’s inherent to submission. The ability to completely let go and trust another persons with your sexuality is wonderful however, when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a person can ever have.
Okay, moving on….
After training for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got the hang of it. Then Brendan allowed me to Top him. Yep, I Topped my teacher! It was fantastic!! And no, we NEVER had sex. Kink isn’t always about sex so get your dirty little minds out of the gutter. When I met Greg it all went to shit. He was in no way shape or form interested in Kink.
*Cue Sad Violins*
I tried coaxing him into nibbling at the Kinky bit but nothing worked so I jumped on him. I literally straddled him one night and he flung me off the bed. Yeah, shock and awe is exactly what I felt. But, alas, we figured out that he was a Top which in hindsight made sense. All that time I’d wasted on trying to break him! Greg Ames is 100% Dom. Once that was sorted out the pieces of the puzzle fell in place.
I switch. He doesn’t. And it works perfectly for us. It also helps me better understand what it’s like being a bottom. It’s bloody awesome. Kink doesn’t impact us romantically so much as it adds to what's already there. We’re both huge romantics, P.S. I Love You, the whole bit. We don’t always mean to engage in Kinky lovin', seems to happen organically. *Shrugs*
There’s your answers. I hope I’ve enlightened you.
Cheers!
How and when I discovered my Dom nature and does it impact me romantically?
That side of me has always been there however it wasn’t until my late teens when I start experimenting. Nothing sexual, mind you—I was more or less dipping my toes into the cultural aspect of Kink. Then I began dating a guy who was the total Alpha male by day and submissive at night.
We would role played and I slowly realized we weren’t ‘playing’. Somehow we’d slipped into a D/s relationship. I could catch his eye from across a crowded room and see a physical change in his behavior. I was sold!!
Not long after that I decided to go for formal training as a Domina. I studied with two Doms before meeting the Dom that changed my life, Brendan. He taught Kink in its purest unsullied form.
Now, before I’m accused of being a control freak in heels, let me point out that being submissive is extremely powerful and erotic. Strictly speaking about the sexual side of Kink, there is a feeling of liberation that’s inherent to submission. The ability to completely let go and trust another persons with your sexuality is wonderful however, when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a person can ever have.
Okay, moving on….
After training for what seemed like an eternity, I finally got the hang of it. Then Brendan allowed me to Top him. Yep, I Topped my teacher! It was fantastic!! And no, we NEVER had sex. Kink isn’t always about sex so get your dirty little minds out of the gutter. When I met Greg it all went to shit. He was in no way shape or form interested in Kink.
*Cue Sad Violins*
I tried coaxing him into nibbling at the Kinky bit but nothing worked so I jumped on him. I literally straddled him one night and he flung me off the bed. Yeah, shock and awe is exactly what I felt. But, alas, we figured out that he was a Top which in hindsight made sense. All that time I’d wasted on trying to break him! Greg Ames is 100% Dom. Once that was sorted out the pieces of the puzzle fell in place.
I switch. He doesn’t. And it works perfectly for us. It also helps me better understand what it’s like being a bottom. It’s bloody awesome. Kink doesn’t impact us romantically so much as it adds to what's already there. We’re both huge romantics, P.S. I Love You, the whole bit. We don’t always mean to engage in Kinky lovin', seems to happen organically. *Shrugs*
There’s your answers. I hope I’ve enlightened you.
Cheers!
Spread The Word
6 Responses to "More Than You Ever Thought Safe To Know About Me"
said this on 20 Jul 2010 5:43:58 PM CDT
You're more than welcome...
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said this on 20 Jul 2010 4:46:03 PM CDT
TA,
This is very interesting. To be honest with you a few years ago my view of Dom/Subs relationship was based on the propaganda from the media. The relationship always appeared to be imbalance and lacked respect- the sub was portrayed as more of a “servant/slave” with little or no importance rather than a partner in the relationship. A friend later explain the true Dom/sub relationship to me and attempted to convince me that I would make a great sub but all I heard is “no control” and of course I did give him a hand on hip, neck rolling piece of my mind (which he just laughed at). Yep I do have control issue; I guess if I ever stumbled onto a man I whole heartily trusted I may give it a go. |
said this on 20 Jul 2010 5:59:07 PM CDT
LOLOL! No he didn't! That's too funny. It's quite the opposite. Rightfully so, subs hold the cards in the relationship. Doms can only push them so far as their contracts state. Now some Dom/sub relationships don’t use contracts…meaning the sub has given the Dom free reign. I Do Not suggest a sub go down this road unless they have absolute trust in the Dom….this should be done with anyone they’ve just met and if the Dom refuses to use a contract then the sub should walk out and never turn back.
Most times when a Dom rejects a contract it’s because they’re not real Doms…they’re pervs pretending to be Doms just to get their leg over. :) |
said this on 22 Jul 2010 8:18:54 PM CDT
Thanks for the information! Ever since you’ve recommended Mistress 160 I have been glued to her site. My brain is definitely working as a sponge. The site is very helpful AND colorful, but then I wouldn’t want it any other way. I was going through a period where nothing was inspiring and my artwork suffered because of this. I think I’ve got my mojo back. Between your site and hers I have enough inspiration to construct a nice portfolio and *shrugs* maybe even conquer the fear of writing.
I never thought of kinksters or the BDSM community to be wild, crazy sexual deviants, but then again I never pictured them as to possibly having tender, faithful relationships either. I like how you and Mistress160 often discuss your significant others. I love the duality of the soft affectionate couple and the hard carnal lovers. You guys site educate and entertain. Two thumbs up!! |
said this on 22 Jul 2010 10:07:05 PM CDT
Wow, that's great and thanks for the compliments. I'm glad you've found her blog informative. The beginners series was something that's been needed for a while and the manner in which she conduct it was awesome because she involved other Kinksters and spoke from the ground level up---you get a change to see everything, then decide what you want before dipping your tips in the cultural.
The BDSM community has always gotten bad press. But what do you expect? It's not exactly what vanillas are used to. :) We poor Kinksters just get pulled behind it all. *smh* |