Thank you so much for your insight. No, it's not long winded...it's spot on what I was hoping for. Blade and Eminem, huh? You sure know how to mix them up! Awesome thanks.

Kiana, I might spin a tale off of this one. *grabs hands together*

I am glad, unlike your last panel discussion, you’re not ranting and raving and wanting to pull not yours but someone else’s hair out. This is a very good topic. I remember reading my first Harlequin romance, I was very disappointed. I didn’t and still don’t like Harlequins because, in my opinion the story were un-relatable to me. The heroines were geared towards who they, the authors thought the readers were and what the writers thought were beautiful/acceptable to society-white Barbie doll wanna be. I wanted a story where the heroine could be something other than a white cookie cut society accepted female.

Now to the man: his name (this isn’t too important but it’s up there on my list) sometimes a man’s name can make or break him. (TA I’m kind of out there for a man with a certain name. for as long as I can remember I’ve wanted the last name Anderson and I’ve never met a Kevin I didn’t like or had a crush on lol therefore the “next one” will be named Kevin Anderson)

Crying: I don’t mind a man crying it shows there is a level of sensitivity, well shedding a tear or two and it must be because of something significant i.e. death of a love one, birth of a child. Leave the boohooing to me

Doing the nasty: I’ve said it before I will be a sub in the bedroom for a man who knows what the hell he is doing; scratch my back and I’ll happily scratch yours :-)

Attributes: ok I’m only 5’3 but I need a man who is tall and toned ( I enjoy working out so he needs to be able to run a few miles with me) I need a sense of protection from the man, though I can protect myself. dimples+, long eye lashes+, trimmed nails+, toned calves+, self-confidence. the list can go on but regardless of how tasty he may look if there is nothing upstairs, if I cannot communicate with him his physical attributes will not matter at all

Breaking him: he has to be physically as well as mentally strong. A strong hero needs a strong heroine, if a heroine “breaks” the hero that is a case of weakness to me and that’s a turn off for me

I totally agree with you. I definatley drawn to men in books who are as you said good guys who are a little bad ass. I like them a little cocky hout being a total ass! A man who's sensitive and can in tough with his emotions without coming of like a punk.

I don't have a problem with a hero crying but he can't be crying over every alttle thing. There has to be balance.

As far as sex goes I take a little slow seduction with a side order of some light agression light agression thank very much! lol

Well the first thing I usually notice about a guy are his eyes. I love a guys who have eyes that just draw you in and you cant stop looking into them. A guy with nice full kissable lips. I like a men with a nicely toned body. I'm not really into to the overly pumped up muscle head types who spend all day eveyday in the gym.

If the hero in the book is just being a complete ass and thinks every woman is just suppose to bow down to him and kiss his ass all the time. Then i'm cool with the heroine breaking him down a little. But in general I don't think the heroine should be breaking down the man just for the sake of breaking him down. It doesn't make her stronger. It just makes her come off looking like a bitch in most cases.

What you say it like a little agression is a bad thing! lol!

Okay, here's my two cents worth.

(1) Ideally, the hero should be comfortable enough with the heroine to show his vulnerabilities, incuding crying when something major really hits him (good or bad....like a family death OR a family birth). This does not mean, however, that he is always comfortable shedding tears publicly.
(2) He should be quite capable of being in command of the situation in bed, but confident enough to let her take the lead when the situation warrants.
(3) I'm a short woman, but short men don't do a thing for me. Sorry, I know that is a prejudice that I have to own, but there it is. He needs to be tall enough and broad enough that I feel surrounded and protected. Broad chest, nice tight butt, and I agree with the square jaw that Kiana mentioned. Grey eyes, YUM!
(4) Breaking him....hmmmm. I think it's more attractive if he 'learns' something from the heroine. As in, prior to meeting the heroine, he'd have sworn until he was blue in the face that he saw women as equals, but she has to point out some of his blind spots to him. And, even better, she needs to learn something about herself from him, too.

Right....confidence, but not arrogance. It is a fine line, but an important one.

Hmm, let's see.... Confident in who he is and what he is about - just short of arrogance. Emotionally sensitive, but not wont to show it unless he really trusts you.

Tall, broad shouldered, narrow waist and hips. Longer dark hair with blue eyes that are rich in color and emotion really do it for me. Long lashes are definitely a bonus ;-)

I don't know that he needs to be broken, but he will recognize that I am not a doormat and will recognize when I need to be in charge. I agree that we both have something to teach the other.

Long hair on a guy is just sexy. It adds to the uncontrolled, wild, feral feel to him and also is really nice to run your hands through!