The Big Fat CT Divorce: It's a Long One!
- By Tracy Ames
- Published December 11, 2010
Tracy Ames
My name is Tracy Ames. I’m an author of interracial erotic fiction. My stories are a sensual feast for your senses; mind, body and soul.
I began writing short stories for monthly newsletters and, believe it or not, my friends. After much encouragement, I’m ready to offer you a taste of what only a few have previously savored.
A native of the San Francisco Bay area, I currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with my husband, children and a host of pets.
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Last week Greg and I were talking about the BS that is the divorce process in CT. Trust me when I say WASPy men locked down the divorce game in their favor. The last thing a woman wants is a WASPy CT divorce because, children or not, she’s screwed!
Let’s look at the situation objectively: fault lies not with the men, rather the laws. Way back when, old money WASP saw the benefit of sliding these ‘laws’ into place while women were too busy keeping their kids out of the workhouse and stopping Papa from hitting the slow gin. As with most things, women were too busy to notice they were being raped over a barrel.
Still, unless you had significant property you never felt the sandpaper cock you were being screwed with. However, with the rise of the middle-class, the legal lub wore off and your plight became shockingly apparent. Now, women who'd "come up" felt the stab of injustice when faced with divorce.
You see, by securing their plunder, property, and monikers, WASP gave sandpaper cocks to all men!
You can hear the guys shouting, "Roll out the barrels, fellas—it’s divorce time!!! Slow gin for everyone!!!"
The men can freeze all money, tack on delays (money still frozen, wife starving), hide or ‘move’ assets, buy and sell property during the proceeding sans estranged wife, and there’s not a damn thing women can do to stop them. Why? Because it’s the law, or rather loopholes in the law. The guy’s hands are clean.
Stop your huffing "holier than thou" puffing!! If these loopholes were available to women, do you think we’d use them? Yes, we would. So, why vilify the men? They're just using what's at their disposal--we'd do the same.
Now, before you go away thinking all men are dogs and Tracy hates women; they’re not and I don't. I like some women and there are plenty of men who don’t take advantage of these loopholes and most behave properly during the proceedings…yes, even the rich guys (though not the WASP. There’s too much at stake for a WASP to go soft during a divorce).
Don't slink off into a man-hating brood-- give this article by Kenneth Gosselin a read. The Sosin divorce was ugly however things could have been a lot worse for Susan. Thankfully, she knew when to shut her mouth and get on with it. Yeah, we'd all like to think we'd fight it out, take no crap, show our soon to be ex and his lawyer who's running things. But in the end, sadly, this isn't the case especially in CT.
Regardless of our opinions of wealthy women (spoiled snobs, daddy's girls), they're women...and as women, are often misjudged and treated improperly by those meant to love them. Rich or poor, women want the security of a loving marriage. And I daresay men want the same...though it may not always seem to be the case.
Nazee Moinian, Mrs. Howard Sosin, and Margo Langenberg
Adultery, Acrimony and Millions In Spoils
March 25, 2005
By KENNETH R. GOSSELIN, Hartford Courant Staff Writer
In one of Fairfield's wealthiest enclaves, the bitter divorce of a business executive has ended with his jet-setting wife walking away with nearly $50 million in cash, homes, cars, jewelry and artwork.
The 25-year marriage ended with Howard Sosin, a one-time insurance executive, branding his wife, Susan, an adulteress. Susan Sosin said she suffered the loneliness of a golf widow.
In a 74-page divorce decree filed this week in Superior Court in Bridgeport, the slow, painful disintegration of the Sosins' marriage in their $16.2 million mansion on Tony Sasco Hill Road is revealed in lurid detail:
How Howard Sosin insisted on celebrating Thanksgiving on a Saturday so he could play golf on the holiday. How Susan Sosin pursued a yearlong affair with a married man she met when he helped her with her luggage in an airport in China.
And how Howard Sosin finally discovered the secret e-mails Susan Sosin exchanged with her lover. In the decree, Judge Howard T. Owens said the discovery of those e-mails was the death knell to the marriage.
"The parties' marriage has been undeniably marred by [Susan Sosin's] infidelity," Owens wrote in the decree.
"Although her sexual relationship was not the sole cause of the breakdown, it did effectively terminate the marriage."
Howard Sosin's "preoccupation with his career also led to the erosion and subsequent drifting apart, although to a much lesser extent. [Susan Sosin] is primarily responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.
"Owens' decree also gives a rare glimpse into how one wealthy family on the Gold Coast lived a lavish lifestyle, but where money wasn't a substitute for happiness. The ruling details everything the couple owned, from artwork worth millions right down to an "I Love Mommy" mug.
The Sosins and their three children lived in a Sasco Hill mansion decorated with paintings and sculpture worth millions and furnished with rare furniture - some pieces worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The pair of George III parcel-gilt side tables alone were valued at $100,000.
They owned art worth nearly $30 million. The Sosins had as many as 14 servants, some of them living in a second, $5 million home the couple owned on the same street. They owned 18 cars.
Golf club memberships were worth nearly $1 million.They had five homes, including a ski house in Utah. There also was an apartment in New York City. And there were lavish gifts of jewelry.
For their 16th anniversary, Howard Sosin gave his wife a 25-carat diamond ring. But those trappings were a long way from 1978 when the couple met. Then, Howard Sosin was an assistant professor at Columbia University. Susan Sosin was married to her first husband and working in retail. The Sosins married in 1980 after Susan Sosin divorced her husband. They had little money.
Howard Sosin later worked on Wall Street. In 1987, he formed AIG Financial Products, serving as its president and chief operating officer.Six years later, Howard Sosin sold his interest in the joint venture. And together with the resolution of an employment dispute with AIG, Howard Sosin was paid $115 million. Meanwhile, the Sosins had three children: Clifford, Tyler and Clarissa.
In addition to work, Howard Sosin became involved in funding research - and eventually set up his own company - to find a cure for peanut allergies, from which his daughter suffered. He also established a company to create inventions related to his passion for golf.
According to the decree, it was those outside activities that increasingly kept the couple apart. Susan Sosin began developing her own interests, mainly rock climbing, skiing and dance. By the mid-1990s, the couple's separate lives sparked conflict.
Susan Sosin said her husband planned family outings around his golf schedule. Howard Sosin complained the family often ate dinner while Susan Sosin was off skiing.
In 2000, Susan Sosin met David Brooks on a trip to China. When she returned to Connecticut, she began communicating by e-mail and telephone calls that in one instance included phone sex.
She set up a separate e-mail account to correspond with Brooks, who lived in Redmond, Wash.
That Christmas, Susan Sosin and Brooks engaged in sex on a ski trip to Utah, the decree states. They continued to regularly exchange e-mails, cellphone calls and cards - often discussing Susan Sosin's troubled marriage - until the relationship ended in late 2001. In early 2003, the Sosins hired a consultant to upgrade their computer systems. It was through the consultant that Howard Sosin learned unexpectedly his wife had a separate e-mail account.
"It took [Howard Sosin] days to read through all the e-mails, discovering his wife had been unfaithful," the decree said. He discovered 637 pages of e-mails, plus a diary.
In early March, Howard Sosin filed for divorce. Susan Sosin learned of the filing while in Asia. She returned home and deleted the e-mails, but she did not know until the deposition for the divorce trial that Howard Sosin had copied them.
The division of property allows Susan Sosin to maintain an upscale lifestyle. In addition to a $24 million payment in cash, Susan Sosin gets the Manhattan apartment, the ski house and a home about 90 miles north of New York City. They are valued at $6.5 million. She must, however, move out of the Sasco Hill estate in 90 days.*
Susan Sosin will walk away with eight cars, including the 2002 Lexus. But Howard Sosin gets the 2001 BMW. Howard Sosin will hold onto $2.4 million in furnishings, while Susan Sosin gets $160,925. Howard Sosin also gets $22.2 million in artwork, compared with Susan Sosin's $3.5 million.
Then, there are hundreds of household items that aren't appraised.
For instance, Howard Sosin gets to pick the first art book from the collection in the hall and library. Then, the Sosins make alternating selections.
An attorney for Susan Sosin praised the judge's division of assets, saying it was more generous than what Howard Sosin had first offered for a settlement. But it was regrettable that the divorce had to go to a trial, said Frederic J. Siegel, Susan Sosin's attorney.
"It's an unfortunate situation," Siegel said, "when people's private lives have to be displayed in a public forum."
*I make a note here because Susan was a huge pardon of the arts here in Fairfield County and gave so much of her time (hands on) to charities most snobs wouldn’t touch because they weren’t fashionable. Her leaving opened a void....she was SO down to earth. I'd also like to mention that AIG was built on Susan's back! She worked her ass off to get AIG off the ground. Still, she took what she could get, collected what was left of her reputation (very little) and moved on.
Let’s look at the situation objectively: fault lies not with the men, rather the laws. Way back when, old money WASP saw the benefit of sliding these ‘laws’ into place while women were too busy keeping their kids out of the workhouse and stopping Papa from hitting the slow gin. As with most things, women were too busy to notice they were being raped over a barrel.
Still, unless you had significant property you never felt the sandpaper cock you were being screwed with. However, with the rise of the middle-class, the legal lub wore off and your plight became shockingly apparent. Now, women who'd "come up" felt the stab of injustice when faced with divorce.
You see, by securing their plunder, property, and monikers, WASP gave sandpaper cocks to all men!
You can hear the guys shouting, "Roll out the barrels, fellas—it’s divorce time!!! Slow gin for everyone!!!"
The men can freeze all money, tack on delays (money still frozen, wife starving), hide or ‘move’ assets, buy and sell property during the proceeding sans estranged wife, and there’s not a damn thing women can do to stop them. Why? Because it’s the law, or rather loopholes in the law. The guy’s hands are clean.
Stop your huffing "holier than thou" puffing!! If these loopholes were available to women, do you think we’d use them? Yes, we would. So, why vilify the men? They're just using what's at their disposal--we'd do the same.
Now, before you go away thinking all men are dogs and Tracy hates women; they’re not and I don't. I like some women and there are plenty of men who don’t take advantage of these loopholes and most behave properly during the proceedings…yes, even the rich guys (though not the WASP. There’s too much at stake for a WASP to go soft during a divorce).
Don't slink off into a man-hating brood-- give this article by Kenneth Gosselin a read. The Sosin divorce was ugly however things could have been a lot worse for Susan. Thankfully, she knew when to shut her mouth and get on with it. Yeah, we'd all like to think we'd fight it out, take no crap, show our soon to be ex and his lawyer who's running things. But in the end, sadly, this isn't the case especially in CT.
Regardless of our opinions of wealthy women (spoiled snobs, daddy's girls), they're women...and as women, are often misjudged and treated improperly by those meant to love them. Rich or poor, women want the security of a loving marriage. And I daresay men want the same...though it may not always seem to be the case.
Nazee Moinian, Mrs. Howard Sosin, and Margo Langenberg
Adultery, Acrimony and Millions In Spoils
March 25, 2005
By KENNETH R. GOSSELIN, Hartford Courant Staff Writer
In one of Fairfield's wealthiest enclaves, the bitter divorce of a business executive has ended with his jet-setting wife walking away with nearly $50 million in cash, homes, cars, jewelry and artwork.
The 25-year marriage ended with Howard Sosin, a one-time insurance executive, branding his wife, Susan, an adulteress. Susan Sosin said she suffered the loneliness of a golf widow.
In a 74-page divorce decree filed this week in Superior Court in Bridgeport, the slow, painful disintegration of the Sosins' marriage in their $16.2 million mansion on Tony Sasco Hill Road is revealed in lurid detail:
How Howard Sosin insisted on celebrating Thanksgiving on a Saturday so he could play golf on the holiday. How Susan Sosin pursued a yearlong affair with a married man she met when he helped her with her luggage in an airport in China.
And how Howard Sosin finally discovered the secret e-mails Susan Sosin exchanged with her lover. In the decree, Judge Howard T. Owens said the discovery of those e-mails was the death knell to the marriage.
"The parties' marriage has been undeniably marred by [Susan Sosin's] infidelity," Owens wrote in the decree.
"Although her sexual relationship was not the sole cause of the breakdown, it did effectively terminate the marriage."
Howard Sosin's "preoccupation with his career also led to the erosion and subsequent drifting apart, although to a much lesser extent. [Susan Sosin] is primarily responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.
"Owens' decree also gives a rare glimpse into how one wealthy family on the Gold Coast lived a lavish lifestyle, but where money wasn't a substitute for happiness. The ruling details everything the couple owned, from artwork worth millions right down to an "I Love Mommy" mug.
The Sosins and their three children lived in a Sasco Hill mansion decorated with paintings and sculpture worth millions and furnished with rare furniture - some pieces worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The pair of George III parcel-gilt side tables alone were valued at $100,000.
They owned art worth nearly $30 million. The Sosins had as many as 14 servants, some of them living in a second, $5 million home the couple owned on the same street. They owned 18 cars.
Golf club memberships were worth nearly $1 million.They had five homes, including a ski house in Utah. There also was an apartment in New York City. And there were lavish gifts of jewelry.
For their 16th anniversary, Howard Sosin gave his wife a 25-carat diamond ring. But those trappings were a long way from 1978 when the couple met. Then, Howard Sosin was an assistant professor at Columbia University. Susan Sosin was married to her first husband and working in retail. The Sosins married in 1980 after Susan Sosin divorced her husband. They had little money.
Howard Sosin later worked on Wall Street. In 1987, he formed AIG Financial Products, serving as its president and chief operating officer.Six years later, Howard Sosin sold his interest in the joint venture. And together with the resolution of an employment dispute with AIG, Howard Sosin was paid $115 million. Meanwhile, the Sosins had three children: Clifford, Tyler and Clarissa.
In addition to work, Howard Sosin became involved in funding research - and eventually set up his own company - to find a cure for peanut allergies, from which his daughter suffered. He also established a company to create inventions related to his passion for golf.
According to the decree, it was those outside activities that increasingly kept the couple apart. Susan Sosin began developing her own interests, mainly rock climbing, skiing and dance. By the mid-1990s, the couple's separate lives sparked conflict.
Susan Sosin said her husband planned family outings around his golf schedule. Howard Sosin complained the family often ate dinner while Susan Sosin was off skiing.
In 2000, Susan Sosin met David Brooks on a trip to China. When she returned to Connecticut, she began communicating by e-mail and telephone calls that in one instance included phone sex.
She set up a separate e-mail account to correspond with Brooks, who lived in Redmond, Wash.
That Christmas, Susan Sosin and Brooks engaged in sex on a ski trip to Utah, the decree states. They continued to regularly exchange e-mails, cellphone calls and cards - often discussing Susan Sosin's troubled marriage - until the relationship ended in late 2001. In early 2003, the Sosins hired a consultant to upgrade their computer systems. It was through the consultant that Howard Sosin learned unexpectedly his wife had a separate e-mail account.
"It took [Howard Sosin] days to read through all the e-mails, discovering his wife had been unfaithful," the decree said. He discovered 637 pages of e-mails, plus a diary.
In early March, Howard Sosin filed for divorce. Susan Sosin learned of the filing while in Asia. She returned home and deleted the e-mails, but she did not know until the deposition for the divorce trial that Howard Sosin had copied them.
The division of property allows Susan Sosin to maintain an upscale lifestyle. In addition to a $24 million payment in cash, Susan Sosin gets the Manhattan apartment, the ski house and a home about 90 miles north of New York City. They are valued at $6.5 million. She must, however, move out of the Sasco Hill estate in 90 days.*
Susan Sosin will walk away with eight cars, including the 2002 Lexus. But Howard Sosin gets the 2001 BMW. Howard Sosin will hold onto $2.4 million in furnishings, while Susan Sosin gets $160,925. Howard Sosin also gets $22.2 million in artwork, compared with Susan Sosin's $3.5 million.
Then, there are hundreds of household items that aren't appraised.
For instance, Howard Sosin gets to pick the first art book from the collection in the hall and library. Then, the Sosins make alternating selections.
An attorney for Susan Sosin praised the judge's division of assets, saying it was more generous than what Howard Sosin had first offered for a settlement. But it was regrettable that the divorce had to go to a trial, said Frederic J. Siegel, Susan Sosin's attorney.
"It's an unfortunate situation," Siegel said, "when people's private lives have to be displayed in a public forum."
*I make a note here because Susan was a huge pardon of the arts here in Fairfield County and gave so much of her time (hands on) to charities most snobs wouldn’t touch because they weren’t fashionable. Her leaving opened a void....she was SO down to earth. I'd also like to mention that AIG was built on Susan's back! She worked her ass off to get AIG off the ground. Still, she took what she could get, collected what was left of her reputation (very little) and moved on.
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7 Responses to "The Big Fat CT Divorce: It's a Long One!"
said this on 12 Dec 2010 6:13:14 PM CST
Note to Self: Don’t marry anyone from Connecticut.
I don’t know what to make of this article. A negligent husband and a cheating wife. I guess one led to the other but still both parties were in the wrong. She definitely got off better than most women in her situation. Infidelity is usually the kiss of death in divorce proceedings especially when women are the adulterers. Double standard? Definitely. *shrugs* It’s probably insensitive of me to say this but I don’t feel sorry for her. Hell she still can live a VERY comfortable life. I guess what sucks is the fact that you said she was a big part of helping to build AIG. Plus I commend her for taking part in so many charity organizations. Obviously she wasn’t one of those housewives who sat on their ass all day while the nannies attended to the children. It might be naïve of me to say this but perhaps this is the reason why she came out better than most. |
said this on 12 Dec 2010 7:17:46 PM CST
"Don't Marry anyone from Connecticut"
LOL! That is priceless Calvetta. Looks like I have already commited the cardinal sin-I got married in CT. I guess I better stick with, "It's cheaper to keep 'em." |
said this on 12 Dec 2010 10:21:17 PM CST
Olga, you'd better tell her! If I hear one of my friends is divorcing and their spouses lawyer is from any of the shoreline towns, I tell them to pack it up and roll out the barrels! Madison, Old Lyme, Clinton? Shhhiiittt hang it up! Those WASP know the deal.
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said this on 12 Dec 2010 10:17:40 PM CST
Cali, don't marry in CT! Not that you'd expect to get a divorce but still...I'd hate to see you get rolled. In Susan's case, he was out to humiliate her as well. It was ugly! But she wasn't innocent, she cheated. Being lonely and unloved doesn't give you the green light to cheat. Either work it out or move on.
The AIG bit got under alot of folks skin. She made that man and he dogged the crap out of her left and right. It kills me...she wasn't a gold digger. He didn't have a dime (no kidding) before they married. |
said this on 12 Dec 2010 9:44:06 PM CST
and I thought Texas is where women and kids were screwed when it came to divorce. I don't know how I feel about this story, in a way I'm indifferent to it. My concern has always been unless the woman has been with her husband from the start and supported him building his empire or business whether she was stay @ home or not, no woman deserve to walk away with 1/2 of his wealth. I care for the children and making sure the father is held responsible for child support and education of his child in these kind of divorce and not about how much $$ the lady can squeeze out of him to maintain her plastic surgery or shopping habit. Same goes for gold digging men who marry for money & family connection and a lot of WASP men have been doing it for centuries.
Its a reality that women often face poverty after a divorce, but these women are far from lunching society ladies....most are middle and working class ladies...and they are the ones who have my sympathy. |
said this on 12 Dec 2010 10:07:25 PM CST
Aw! You almot got it! The laws that were meant to harm the upper class women are KILLING the working class women. That was one of my points. They can't impose a law only on these women...no, it covers everyone. This is another reason women of all classes have to come together and fight these silly laws. As long as we're divided by class, we don't stand a chance. "Oh it's those people" it doesn't work and we won't be taken seriously.
And in Susan's case she was there way before the jackass was rich. She sold her clothing to pay the rent because that &($@% was a jerk. LOL! But yes, it's been going on so long people simply take it as a given. I'd love to come back and see what future generations say about us. I imagine it would be akin to having a woman from the early 1900's looking at all the advancements we've made.:) |
said this on 12 Dec 2010 10:59:40 PM CST
lol, yeah, hence why I believe legislative policies have an impact on everyone not those whom we consider 'the other/not us'.
Susan is a rare exception in today's high society divorces and more often than not her generation have enabled these rich old men to get to where they are today. So, I hope she gets as much as she could even though AIG as a company has collapsed and with it American tax payers since 2007. |