TMI From Tracyland: Male Body Hair
- By Tracy Ames
- Published February 3, 2011
Tracy Ames
My name is Tracy Ames. I’m an author of interracial erotic fiction. My stories are a sensual feast for your senses; mind, body and soul.
I began writing short stories for monthly newsletters and, believe it or not, my friends. After much encouragement, I’m ready to offer you a taste of what only a few have previously savored.
A native of the San Francisco Bay area, I currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with my husband, children and a host of pets.
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My aversion for male body hair began right around birth, I suppose. According to my mom, I’d cringe when hairy epaulets (even clothed) touched my tender baby flesh. And rightly so; it’s gross!
Since then, my taste hasn’t morphed to a tolerable acceptance of hirsutism; quite the contrary, it’s grown to a fever pitch. I have no shame in saying, “I’m Tracy Ames and I hate male body hair!”
Thanks to our Native American blood, the men in our family are relatively hairless. I was quite happy in my hairless home until I begun dating and realized this phobia of mine had to be addressed. I prayed on my little girlie knees for a hairless, cocksure paramour to stumble into my life.
Alas, he did not….
Craig and I grew up together—we were bathtub buddies! He was gorgeous: blond hair, icy blue eyes, and a killer smile. His only flaw was his hairy legs. I asked him to shave countless times; I warned him not to fall asleep but he did. You guessed it: I shaved his legs while he slept. He got the hint.
Though Greg has Viking blood he isn’t hairy and what little fuzzy appears is quickly shaven because of his triathlons. Chest hair is a no-no! I can’t abide even the slightest trail of hair. I dated a guy with chest hair and, while it wasn’t the sole reason*, I’m fairly certain his chest hair was a contributing factor to the failure of our relationship. I like cuddling, but I couldn’t cuddle with him—not even with the best of intentions. I equate lying on his chest to a trial by ordeal whereby I subjected myself to the unpleasant knowledge that the only barrier between me and his man-fur was a seafoam green J. Crew tee shirt.
“What about pubic hair, Tracy?”
Pubic hair is a touchy subject. No one wants a man with the genital smoothness of a Ken doll. Peach fuzzy is the way to go because the absence of visible genitals is a tad disconcerting but thickets of human bush is freakin’ gag worthy. I know: change your mind and you’ll change yourself. Rubbish! Trying to psych myself out hasn’t worked. To me, armpit hair is a receptacle for musky odors and pubic hair is a catchall for wayward pieces of fecal matter and man-stank!
It doesn’t matter how hot the guy is—if there’s body hair, he goes to the end of the line. This is especially troubling since I go for the rough-and-tumble, masculine type (think Gerard Butler 300 NOT Mel Gibson Braveheart). Maybe one day I'll get to the bottom of my phobia. :)
* He ended up being a feckless asshole who slapped his mom.
See! No hair!! But I have a sneaking suspicion there’s hair beneath Mel's tunic
Since then, my taste hasn’t morphed to a tolerable acceptance of hirsutism; quite the contrary, it’s grown to a fever pitch. I have no shame in saying, “I’m Tracy Ames and I hate male body hair!”
Thanks to our Native American blood, the men in our family are relatively hairless. I was quite happy in my hairless home until I begun dating and realized this phobia of mine had to be addressed. I prayed on my little girlie knees for a hairless, cocksure paramour to stumble into my life.
Alas, he did not….
Craig and I grew up together—we were bathtub buddies! He was gorgeous: blond hair, icy blue eyes, and a killer smile. His only flaw was his hairy legs. I asked him to shave countless times; I warned him not to fall asleep but he did. You guessed it: I shaved his legs while he slept. He got the hint.
Though Greg has Viking blood he isn’t hairy and what little fuzzy appears is quickly shaven because of his triathlons. Chest hair is a no-no! I can’t abide even the slightest trail of hair. I dated a guy with chest hair and, while it wasn’t the sole reason*, I’m fairly certain his chest hair was a contributing factor to the failure of our relationship. I like cuddling, but I couldn’t cuddle with him—not even with the best of intentions. I equate lying on his chest to a trial by ordeal whereby I subjected myself to the unpleasant knowledge that the only barrier between me and his man-fur was a seafoam green J. Crew tee shirt.
“What about pubic hair, Tracy?”
Pubic hair is a touchy subject. No one wants a man with the genital smoothness of a Ken doll. Peach fuzzy is the way to go because the absence of visible genitals is a tad disconcerting but thickets of human bush is freakin’ gag worthy. I know: change your mind and you’ll change yourself. Rubbish! Trying to psych myself out hasn’t worked. To me, armpit hair is a receptacle for musky odors and pubic hair is a catchall for wayward pieces of fecal matter and man-stank!
It doesn’t matter how hot the guy is—if there’s body hair, he goes to the end of the line. This is especially troubling since I go for the rough-and-tumble, masculine type (think Gerard Butler 300 NOT Mel Gibson Braveheart). Maybe one day I'll get to the bottom of my phobia. :)
* He ended up being a feckless asshole who slapped his mom.
See! No hair!! But I have a sneaking suspicion there’s hair beneath Mel's tunic
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20 Responses to "TMI From Tracyland: Male Body Hair"
said this on 03 Feb 2011 8:20:48 AM CST
LMAO you crazy woman!!!!!!!!!! see the first guy great body-I'll just braid his armpit hair and add some beads at the end ;-). the second guy (this is what I mean when I say God has a crazy sense of humor) his muscle definition is great God knew he, the guy in the photo would end up with a smoking body so He sprinkled hair seed over his body so he wouldn’t get too cocky lol and that above is the end result!!
I personally like a little fuzz on a man’s leg but chest hairless and No I do not feel sorry for any man who has to shave, wax or pluck, welcome to a woman's world and just a small bit of what we do not only for ourselves but the male species |
said this on 04 Feb 2011 2:36:58 AM CST
I'm just saying. :) You call my crazy? Pllleeaase! "Sprinkled hair seeds over his body"? Yeah, I'm the crazy one.
When Greg gets peach fuzzy on his legs, he's running to the shave it. I used to think he shaved for me but it's all to do with his sports. Either way it's a win-win. :) |
said this on 04 Feb 2011 10:44:01 AM CST
don't know why I keep coming back here-I am drawn to hair seed man. IDK why?!?!? there is something appealing about his hairy pec. I think he's liable to go ape-shit in the bedroom hmmmmmm
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 9:36:03 AM CST
LMAO!!!! It is a phobia indeed. I kinda like chest hair... so masculine. Of course, i hate pubic hair and i don't care who you are, you gotta shave your armpit. So I'm siding with you on this.
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 2:12:13 AM CST
Thanks Heidi! Where the heck have you been? Miss your craziness. :)
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 8:37:31 AM CST
I know! sorry. I'm back now...went to LaLa for a second. But i'm baaaaack!!!!
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 9:49:04 AM CST
LOL! I can't believe you shaved the poor guys legs! I don't mind a little body hair on a guy. The only exceptions would probally be beards and back hair. I can't stand them.
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 2:18:56 AM CST
Heck yeah, I shaved Craig's legs! His mom's facial expression was priceless. Hell, I warned him. I'm surprised he's still my friend. LOL! I'm with you on beards and back hair. Ek!
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 11:27:58 AM CST
Tracy, I love you girl! You're one of the funniest people I've had the pleasure of meeting. I keep coming back because I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth. Greg has his hands full.
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 11:32:06 PM CST
Love you, Rob. And thanks for the compliment. You'd better keep coming back...it took you a year to come out of the shadows. :)
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 12:00:59 PM CST
I had to Google ‘hirsutism’ because I thought it was one of those Tracy words like ‘truthiness’. Reading your post expenses the vocabulary. LOL! I feel the same way about hairy women. I shave. Why don’t they shave?
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 11:29:33 PM CST
Thanks Joey! I don't know what's with hairy women...I thought they'd gone the way of the raphus cucullatus (dodo bird). Hairy armpits and Lady bush isn't attractive.
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 4:41:26 PM CST
"To me, armpit hair is a receptacle for musky odors and pubic hair is a catchall for wayward pieces of fecal matter and man-stank!" Tracy you've nailed it! I think the same way especially about armpit hair and hair from the love below. Lol! Everything has to be SANITARY!! Enough said!
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 2:09:59 AM CST
Cali, I have a thing with odor--I hate (hate is a very strong word) rude smells. Could that be the root of this madness? Do people like us equate hair with bad odors?
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 8:13:57 PM CST
Whew! Thank God for Viking blood and passing the Tracy body hair test, Greg! Way to go! Um, Tracy? That's not a quirk. That's eliminating a good portion of the male population, LOL! Love you!!!
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said this on 03 Feb 2011 11:23:22 PM CST
I know, Debbie! It's one of those things I can't get past. It would different if this was a quirk I picked up later in life or formed after a traumatic hair related experience, but this came from birth. What's up with that? lol
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 3:40:23 PM CST
Both my husband and son shave under their arms. My son learned his lesson, at the beginning of puberty stages, when I kept telling him he stinks to high heaven! I just was not having it.
Now that he shaves and doesn't smell......he walks around telling his male cousins to get on board. Why? Cuz he cannot stand (and I mean loathes) getting into Grandma's SUV with them on a HOT day! It's tooooo funny! |
said this on 04 Feb 2011 5:14:42 PM CST
To me, armpit hair is a receptacle for musky odors and pubic hair is a catchall for wayward pieces of fecal matter and man-stank! Made me lol for real! I do work with a guy who literally has fur crawling out of his shirt...yuck.
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said this on 04 Feb 2011 10:41:39 PM CST
lol, I thought I was the only one, I HATE hair on men that does not belong on their head. In fact, it gives me nightmare if my future husband will have hair....see I'm not worried about other important things, but hairy body creeps the hell out of me...its like mating with a monkey.
I'm also to the extreme a bit where I hate seeing hair on my cloths, bed or anywhere. I tell my family to better comb their hair in the bathroom and clean after themselves. Even my hair disturbs me and its curly and long, which translate to a hassle that I prefer to shave.. Tracy: Pubic hair is a touchy subject. No one wants a man with the genital smoothness of a Ken doll. Peach fuzzy is the way to go because the absence of visible genitals is a tad disconcerting but thickets of human bush is freakin’ gag worthy. Hodan: so bloody true. In my religion, its part of hygiene and cleanliness for both men and women to remove/minimize hair from their ambit and private area....so yeah. |
said this on 07 Feb 2011 3:25:56 AM CST
My ex-husband was hairy like a monkey almost, he was french and they are so hairy folks. He had hair in places no person should have hair in, LOL. I never asked to shave but it wasn't all that sexy and his legs were super hairy. The one thing I can say about Matt being Swedish is smooth, light hair, it's barely noticeable and that's great. And thank the heavens he has a hairless back, the bushy back is just too much. Although he did grow a beard for me, that I love, although his hair is light brown, his beard is red it's great. I'm stuck on beard. But too much man-scaping is just well, I'm sorry a little gay, sorry if he's getting waxed more than me we got a problem.
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