Like Carrie Bradshaw, I’ve been left at the altar.

While making toast and watching Sex and the City I realized failure is an option. There I said it “it’s ok to fail”. My life is full of challenges. I am a busy working mom with two teen and a hundred things to do. Failure, most days is, not an option. I have too much to do. When the rubber meets the road, I need a car waiting in the wings to keep me on schedule.

Failure is never an option or is it?

It’s strange when and where an epiphany happens. As Big left Carrie at the altar I realized no matter how hard I try to get it right failure is an option. Umpteenth years of breaking up and getting back together and just when Carrie thinks she has it all Big leaves her at the altar. But the most telling moment was when she said “I knew you would do this”.

I know the feeling well. Just when I think I have it all together life knocks me down. Carrie asked the question, will I ever love again? I keep wondering if this time was the last time for Carrie and Big. Would she give Big another chance? Was failure her option this time? Sitting on my couch eating my toast, watching as Carrie maneuvered her way through life after failure, I asked the question: Will I ever get it right and not fail?



Looking at my own life, I wondered: Which Sex and the City star am I most like? Am I like Charlotte willing just to walk away even when I play a part in my own failure? Or was I like Miranda, willing to take it slow and jog even if I am scared.

I am my own Charlotte. I tell myself it’s not going to work so why try. I fall asleep planning for the next day, the next week even the next year. I go over and over in mind what it takes to make things tick. It only matters if I get it right or does it? Can I not get it right and still have it all? Buttering my plain toast as Al Green meandered about a broken heart I realized failure is an option.

So, like Carrie my key word is love. I love the idea of making it work. It’s like a love letter. I write it every day. Carrie asked why did they decide not get married. I asked when did get ruled out as an option.



In the end, there are many options and like Carrie in her $550 dollar shoes and simple wedding, I dust myself off and for the umpteenth time I try and make it work: The marriage between all the things in my life that I don’t want to fail at.

While failure is an option, it’s fun to try and make it work. Yep, it’s funny what you can learn from a piece of toast and watching Sex and the City.

Oh, well maybe one day I’ll find my own assistant to straighten my life out.


 
Abigail Madison Chase is a 20 something (ok, 40somthing) neurotic mom of two. A highly trained professional (If only in her mind, she’s Jane Bond super heroine) and a budding romance writer working towards publication in 2011.
Abigail-Madison Chase attended a Wiley College in Marshall Texas majoring in English and History. Abigail is currently pursuing a PhD so that before she kicks the bucket she can teach English. Three fragmented sentences to describe Abigail are: boring, more boring and most boring of all.
Check out Abigail's Blog: Always Abigail