Before I begin, let me start off by thanking Tracy Ames for inviting me to write a guest blog on the Interracial Erotica site. Thanks so much, girl!

Hello, everyone. My name is Denise - feel free to call me Necie. I am an interracial dater and the owner of the Milk & Mocha interracial forum. I'd like to tell you all a bit about where I've been, why I started the Milk & Mocha site and my plans for its future.

Although these are not important details, I think it's important enough for you all to know that I am a divorced mother of three. I married a Black man in 1998 and divorced him in 2008. My experience being married to a Black man did not turn me off from Black men at all. As a matter of fact, I still date Black men today. I've just always had a preference for White men. It definitely is not a requirement.



My first real relationship was with a young Italian from Red Hook, Brooklyn. He had the heavy Italian Brooklyn accent and all. Loved it! He sat behind me in my 9th grade science class. I knew that he liked me but he was very shy – which really attracted me to him. So, being the silly person that I always have been and always will be, I broke the ice by using my “pain in the butt” tactics. I always played practical jokes and pranks on him. I cannot remember exactly how we became boyfriend/girlfriend but the love was there and it lasted throughout my high school years. His parents were dead set against the relationship claiming that our children would “come out confused”. We broke up after he left for the Marine Corp in 1993. I was too immature and too young to handle the distance apart.

I had never even heard of the term "interracial dating" until I was on the Black Planet social networking website about 5 years ago. I decided to join the site out of sheer curiosity as well as pure boredom at home. I searched the site for a group of interest and came across the “BWWM2” group led by a good friend of mine, Johnny Ricco. I quickly became an active member of the group – discussing interracial topics and having fun with the other “regulars” in the group. There was a lot of drama going on within the group and I won’t lie and say that I was a perfect angel of a member. I had fun. At that time, it was my only social outlet.

I learned a lot about myself during my time on the BWWM2 forums. I realized that I am a bigger social butterfly online than I am in person. I also realized that I love giving advice, reading about real people’s experiences and socializing with complete strangers. So, in February 2010, I decided to spread my wings and start my own forum website. One dedicated to interracial daters of all races.



When I first came up with the concept of creating an interracial website, I knew what I did NOT want it to be before I knew what I wanted it to be. I knew: 

     •I did NOT want it to be a dating/hook up site. Oh, how I loathed the cattle calls of the guys on Black Planet. “Single White Man Here Looking For Black Meat”. How disgusting!
     • I did NOT want to ignore the fact that although we may have different skin colors, White sisters and Black sisters have a heck of a lot in common. And let’s not forget our Yellow  and Brown sisters as well. So, the Milk & Mocha interracial forum is NOT only for BW/WM. Although, the most active members happen to be Black women and White men.
     • I did NOT want to exclude Black, Hispanic and Asian men. Sexy men come in so many different flavors! But most importantly, the experiences of non-White men are just as important in my book.
     • I did NOT want to have the same boring conversations about the same boring stuff. There are only so many times and ways a person can discuss why White men are attracted to Black women. That stuff gets repetitive and lame after a while.


After laying out all of the want-nots, I knew what I wanted to offer to the interracial community. My concept included:

     • A community of people with similar interests, values and desires
     • A place where people could discuss their struggles, and share their strengths with others
     • A support group for anyone dealing with interracial related issues (ie parents unwilling to accept and similar topics) or even non-interracial related issues (ie “My cat died last night…” kinda stuff)
     • A community which welcomes men and women of all races. This is important to me because I truly love diversity. It reminds me of my hometown and it’s where I feel the most comfortable.



The Milk & Mocha interracial forum is definitely not a dating site. It’s a relaxed virtual environment for people to come together and communicate with each other about anything and everything that is important to them. We have some really lively and colorful members. On any given day, you’re likely to read a gut busting post. We’ve got lots of flirting going on in the threads as well. A few love connections may have occurred in the background and it wouldn’t surprise me if one day a Milk & Mocha marriage is announced. The community’s environment is very “new member” friendly. There are no cliques; just a bunch of cool down to Earth people. I love interacting with them all!

My future plans and goals for the site may be a bit fairytale-ish in nature. I’d like to see the website grow into a big social network. Nothing like Facebook but more so like a Black Planet website for open minded interracial daters.

Face-to-face meet-ups are definitely in the works for Milk & Mocha lovers. We plan on hosting one at the end of the summer here in Atlanta. None of the details are available right now but stay tuned. Meet-ups are only fun if we can get a well-balanced number of female and male participants.

I’m looking forward to more non-Black women participation in the threads. I really do want to hear from them/you! I can’t wait to promote my first non-Black woman and non-White man to the position of moderator on the site. That will give me a true sense of accomplishment. Why? Because diversity is such a beautiful thing. And it’s so amazing how much we have in common.

I appreciate you taking the time out to learn more about me and the Milk & Mocha interracial community. Our community is continuously growing. We get so excited when new members participate. I invite you and your friends to join in on the fun at Milk & Mocha.