The Road To Sexy Has Bathroom Breaks
- By Tracy Ames
- Published March 20, 2011
Tracy Ames
My name is Tracy Ames. I’m an author of interracial erotic fiction. My stories are a sensual feast for your senses; mind, body and soul.
I began writing short stories for monthly newsletters and, believe it or not, my friends. A native of the San Francisco Bay area, I currently split time between Greenwich CT & New York City with my husband, children and a host of pets.
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This is what happens when our husbands leave me and Pam alone. We spent most of the morning flipping through potential cover models. Let me tell ya, its hard work!
Most of the guys were attractive. Some weren’t up to par but that had more to do with my personal taste than them being genuinely repellent. The real head-tilters were the ones that were almost sexy then something happened.
It’s like they were on the road to sexy then decided to nip off for a pint…or twelve.
It could be anything: a weird smile or pose. An ill-fitting garment or lack thereof. Or maybe it was a poor concept. In theory it was a good idea but in reality it flopped.
Below are a few Pam and I were quite entertained by. Feel free to add your own caption.
No seriously? Don't kill the model. Shoot the Production Director!
What the figgety fuck!? Where was this shot going?!
Don't Stop!! Get It!! Get It!!
Oh My Goodness. How is this sexy?! What's with the pouty lips?
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I wasn't falling. I always sit like this. I'm sexy, no?
Where, oh where, should I begin?
There are many more....I can't bring myself to post them. LOL! The things I suffer for erotica!
Most of the guys were attractive. Some weren’t up to par but that had more to do with my personal taste than them being genuinely repellent. The real head-tilters were the ones that were almost sexy then something happened.
It’s like they were on the road to sexy then decided to nip off for a pint…or twelve.
It could be anything: a weird smile or pose. An ill-fitting garment or lack thereof. Or maybe it was a poor concept. In theory it was a good idea but in reality it flopped.
Below are a few Pam and I were quite entertained by. Feel free to add your own caption.
No seriously? Don't kill the model. Shoot the Production Director!
What the figgety fuck!? Where was this shot going?!
Don't Stop!! Get It!! Get It!!
Oh My Goodness. How is this sexy?! What's with the pouty lips?
I wasn't falling. I always sit like this. I'm sexy, no?
Where, oh where, should I begin?
There are many more....I can't bring myself to post them. LOL! The things I suffer for erotica!
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7 Responses to "The Road To Sexy Has Bathroom Breaks" 
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said this on 20 Mar 2011 8:41:06 PM CDT
1. Sexiness and the vissage of death doesn't come from the idea that he's standing over you right now. Still, that would make a good movie. "Death and the Male Model Go to the Pool." It would be a comedy involving mainly the inanity of people telling Death he should get a tan and work on his abs.
2. If it weren't for the skin, he'd remind me of one of those statues that are actually dead bodies preserved in pose. It certainly doesn't look like a living human would willingly stay in that pose long enough for a camera click. 3. That's definately fashion for the gay biker to wear at the beach. 4. That's a yoga injury waiting to happen. 5. I'm pretty sure the entire purpose of that pose was to stick his bulge out as much as possible. As a straight guy, I feel like old timey movie vampires when they see a cross. 6. Is that a badge on his underwear? Is that a state-cop badge on his underwear? |
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said this on 21 Mar 2011 2:54:39 AM CDT
ok I'm on the WB train
1.-too unnatural, you can be sexy yet gory and this one failed on all level 2.-What the hell was Robin Thicke doing!?!?! 3.-WB said it best 4.-WB covered it 5.-Even with the tennis ball stuffed in his swimming apparel, not sexy at all 6.-Poor kid looks so confused Thank goodness you have Pam to hold your hand through these ordeal :) |
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said this on 21 Mar 2011 12:20:59 AM CDT
I think you should let me look at all your potential female cover models!!!!!!!!!!!! :) What do you think Trace????
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said this on 21 Mar 2011 7:54:35 AM CDT
I don't even know what to say about the dude in the aqua boxers. Most baffling to me is the string tied around his thigh.
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said this on 21 Mar 2011 11:41:53 AM CDT
Ugh! They're terrible! My least favorites are no. 3 and no. 6.
Number 3 looks like he's a throwback from Studio 54 and number 6 is just wrong on sooo many levels. I HATE briefs on men , but cheeky draws? Yuck! They should be a crime with capital punishment being the only option. Keisha might like those two, if you know what I mean. LOL! |
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said this on 21 Mar 2011 8:54:05 PM CDT
Tracy, you truly suffer for your art.
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said this on 24 Mar 2011 12:01:29 AM CDT
I came out of hiding to comment because clearly...
1: It's like Marilyn Manson's son killed David Beckham's kid and this is the E! Television celebrity special reenactment. 2. I just thought Big, the porn version. 3. Are the undies leather also, because that is major accessorizing. 4. I was too distracted by the angle of his torso to notice anything else. He actually looks like when I melted my Ken doll as a little girl and tried to reshape his body. 5. "I just want to dip my toe in." 6. I think I have those panties. Actually I'm very sure I have those panties and I bought them at American Eagle. |