Three weeks ago, Eva texted me ‘I need to talk to you about something I didn’t feel comfortable talking to dad about’.

*Cue me freaking the hell out and speed dialing Switzerland*

“I’m not coming home this summer…at all.” Eva says meekly. “I have a job.”

I collapse and thank heavens my child’s virtue in still intact while she tells me about the job she’s acquired at a retirement home where she’d be working three days a week and weekends. Her duties would be reading mail, mingling with residents, and other light chores. She also announced she’d have to reduce her summer classes to two rather than the four we’d anticipated.

For the untrained eye, let me point out the glaring problems with the abovementioned: First, Eva has cut two classes, both of which were extracurricular but still. Second, GREG AMES DAUGHTER HAS A JOB!! Third, she went to Momma Ames who, in what I can only imagine was a state of catastrophic delirium, gave her blessing. Fourth, GREG AMES DAUGHTER HAS A JOB!!!

Back to the story…

I calmly informed Eva that her ass was mine for circumventing us. At the very least she should have come to me. The she started crying that Greg won’t let her grow up. I completely understand where she’s coming from; Greg should allow her to be ‘normal’. You see, her friends are trust fund babies, like herself. The only difference is Eva is grounded and has an uber-strict allowance and there’s not an ounce of self-entitlement in her. She’s as comfortable on the Ames’ farm as she is jetting off to Nice. Most of her friends wouldn’t know one end of a cow from the other.

Eva is Greg through and through. Though not as young as Eva, Greg rebelled against his family’s wishes and charted his own path of normality. This is why I believe she went to Momma Ames before coming to us. Greg and MA don’t talk about those years of separation, but its right below the surface.

If my last statement makes no sense to you click here. Everyone else, keep reading.

I promised I’d let her break the news to her dad after she arrived home last week. By then MA and I had hammered out our defense strategy and escape plan. Well, Eva came home and told him. Below is the trajectory of my husband’s reaction (more or less):

Denial: You were dreaming, Sweetie. You don’t have a job.

Endorphins kick in, numbing the harsh reality slowly seeping into his frontal lobe: I’m going to forget we had this conversation and pretend you have common sense.

Endorphins wear off, looks for culpable adult(s): Who gave you permission? You didn’t do this on your own!
 
Misdirected anger: Who the hell gave you a job!? Who flouts my authority? Call them NOW!

Vein in forehead pulses, launches into a Viking rage: Have you lost your fucking mind!?!?! *Lots of yelling and swearing. I ran for cover*


Two days later, tempers cool. But Eva didn’t drop the subject. She pressed him, backed off, and then pressed him again. For days she’s been poking the bear!


Neither is giving in but at least Greg’s speaking in full sentences and the vein has stopped throbbing. Although Greg views are extremely liberal, he’s still a traditional WASP. He can’t fathom his young daughter working. Volunteering a few hours here and there is fine, but not working. In his autocratic eyes, Eva’s only focus should be getting a proper education in preparation for college. His daughter was raised to value education, which she does*. This working business isn’t to be born.

Greg has forgotten how much has changed since we were young. At her age, our summers were carefree save brief stints in summer school. However, our children don’t enter school; they enter an arms race where everyone is hoping to out arm the person beside them. Little Billy isn’t a classmate; he’s a future competitor for college enrollment and career slots.

It’s easy to look at the high tech gadgets at their disposal and discount their plight, but make no mistake they’re under pressure to digest vats of ever changing information. Trouble is they become desensitized because, good and bad, everything is felt immediately, baying for instantaneous processing. Learn this now! Download this now! Why don’t you know this by now! Your kitten just died, get over it now!

They’ve lost their innocence too soon. That in mind, I don’t blame Eva for wanting to take a break even if it means hanging out with the elderly. Convincing Greg isn’t going to be easy. In WASPsville, young daughters don’t seek employment; summer or otherwise. So Eva has a fight on her hand. As far as her tiptoeing pass the permission button, MA and I resigned ourselves to our fates, confessed to having prior knowledge of Eva’s wickedness, and threw ourselves at his mercy. All is well on the front. But Ms. Eva got the bullocking of her life from me!

I’ll let you know how things pan out.


* I’m beginning to wonder where I factor into Eva's existence.