Single, Honest & Proud
- By Stacy Deanne
- Published July 5, 2011
Stacy Deanne
Stacy-Deanne (Dee-Anne) is an award-winning novelist of crime fiction, mysteries and interracial romance. She is known as, "Interracial Romance's First Lady of Crime and Mystery". She's She's been writing professionally since 19 years old. Her work includes, "Divas of the New Millennium", "Everlasting", "Melody" and "Giving up the Ghost". She is also profiled along with notable authors in the NAACP nominated 2006 book, Literary Divas: The Top 100+ African-American Women in Writing
I’m single and I don’t have kids. I never wanted to be married and I never wanted to have kids. See I’m not one of those women who think I gotta make excuses for that. But it bothers me that some women do.
This goes back to how society views men and women. How come women are bred to feel ashamed for being single or raised to think they have to get married? Yet men are raised to be free in all their choices? And don’t get me wrong. I’m not gonna man bash or anything. I just wanted to bring that up because it does feed into this topic.
But you know what? I’m not gonna go all into why other women are single. You see the title of this post? It fits me. I am single, proud and I am honest. I will be honest with you about myself. See I am happy single. I am. But I am not gonna dress it up and say that some of it’s not my fault. I know it is. See, the way I am just doesn’t allow me to make room for anyone else.
In the past when I’ve dated, men took up all my time. They would slither into my little cubbyhole and soon after I wouldn’t write as much as I use to or I found less time for myself and suddenly my life revolved around him. I didn’t like that. I realize that in order to have a successful relationship, you have to share. And I just am not the type to share some things. I like my life the way it is. I am someone who has to have my space and people get on my nerves a lot of the time. I don’t like to be around a lot of people. I am an introvert and a homebody. I enjoy going out sometimes but I am not one who is gonna go out every night and I don’t like to talk on the phone either. That’s just me.
See I’m a writer. I think differently and on top of that, I am just a person who prefers that things stay the same. I am not one who enjoys change. My life is scheduled, a little predictable and organized. I love it that way. It’s not easy to date someone when the only person you enjoy spending time with is yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being around folks sometimes but I would rather be in my little box, writing my books and spending time with my characters.
So unlike some women who wanna make excuses as to why they are who they are, I don’t do that. I am happy with my life. If I wasn’t, I’d be out there dating or married. But that’s not what I want. Now I am not saying my mind won’t change in the future. Who knows? But right now my life is wrapped up the way I want it to be. That might be a little selfish, shallow and maybe somewhat pathetic but that’s just the way it is. I’d rather be myself and proud of that than wear a mask just to fit what society thinks I should be.
My life is my life. It might not fit other people but it does wonders for me.
At least I’m happy in my shell. Now how many people can honestly say that?
Best Wishes!
Spread The Word
5 Responses to "Single, Honest & Proud"
said this on 06 Jul 2011 12:56:58 AM CDT
You shouldn't have to make excuse, do you! Some people are meant to be single, some are not, some people are meant to be parents, some are not. No one should feel guilty about their life choices, they are your choices. It doesn't hurt anyone else when you made the choice. Although I'm getting married, I was never meant to be a mother and I don't make excuses because I don't have kids. I love kids, I just don't want any. It's very refreshing to see someone who's comfortable enough in their skin to stand behind their decision. There's not enough of that in the world. Stay happy!
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said this on 06 Jul 2011 10:28:17 PM CDT
Thanks so much, Eugenia. I agree! We gotta be ourselves!
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said this on 06 Jul 2011 5:55:27 PM CDT
I Absolutely LOVE This! You ROCK!!! Your Bio Is Awesome As Well. I'm a firm believer in living life in TOTAL HAPPINESS. It's not a selfish thing It's a necessary thing to be any good to yourself, and exist in this world.
Do Your Thing Stacy!! I will definitely invest in your writings. do |
said this on 06 Jul 2011 10:29:15 PM CDT
Thanks so much, Aw Brad (Jenn)! I hope you do check out my work and I appreciate the support very much!
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said this on 08 Jul 2011 10:29:10 PM CDT
YW Stacey. I surely will.
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