Me and My Shadow
- By Tracy Ames
- Published June 11, 2012
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
For the past year and a half, an inspiring writer has shadowed me, and not in a good way.
By ‘shadow’, I mean she mimics my personality, adopts my behavior, presents my ideas as hers, befriends my friends, routinely drops my name, and joins my social groups…all million of them.
I didn’t think much of it in the beginning because I couldn't fathom the idea of high functioning adult behaving in such a ludicrous manner. Since then, I've seen the light.
Even in the face of mounting evidence, I thought it was just me being hyper-sensitive. That was until others unaware of the situation approached me.
It’s extremely annoying and has become somewhat of a joke. For instance:
“Tracy, your friend is at it again. LOL!!”
“Girl, did you see what she did? People are high-fiving her for your ideas. Check her please!”
“Isn’t that the same thing you posted five minutes ago? Where’s your accreditation? She cut you out! LMAO!” (Thanks Mom.)
“I met this girl named ****. You guys have a lot of the same interests. You’d get along great.” (Of course, we would. She’s my effin’ shadow!)
“Y’all wearing the same shirt. Bwahh!”
These are just the tip of the iceberg. She recently wrote a story within a hair's breadth of “Spanked” in which she used my characters from “Fox and Hound”. Oh, yes she did! You know what that means!!!
She has even adopted my sense of humor, and tapped into my pattern of speech and writing style which I didn’t realize I had but, apparently, I do.
Sure, it’s laughable but it’s gotten out of hand. My nerves are fried to the point where I censor myself – I’m walking on egg shells. And frustration has turned to anger because I feel violated.
She doesn’t want to harm me – she wants to be me! What the hell is that about? I’m not that special. Trust me! So why is she inching into every corner of my life?
I know some of you don’t understand my plight. I’ll put it in gif form since I get into trouble when I explain things in human.
Consider this. Your co-worker hides behind corners, making note of your attire, then returns from lunch wearing the same outfit...everyday. You’re on the same committee, and they pawn your ideas off as theirs to the applause of the unwitting masses. Your words leave their mouth a nanosecond after they leave yours.
They join your place of worship to befriend your friends, and then pop up at cookouts with your potato salad - which, by the way, is now their potato salad. Your amusing stories are now their amusing stories. Your front yard is now their front yard. Your kids are now their kids. They walk, talk, eat, and sleep just like you. All the while, they’re smiling innocently.
Admit it. A lot of you just went from “I don’t get it.”…
...to “Get the fuck out!!”….
I'm at the end of my rope.