After watching BC sprint across the pasture towards the barns, I took my laptop on the front porch (because I’m country like that) and began my work day. A girlfriend asked me to write an article for her site about the loss of intimacy, sexual or other. Again, I’m not expert—I’m spit-balling from experience and countless hours of research.

The topic arose while we sat going through emails. I’m still amazed by the volume of emails I receive from men complaining about their partners’ unwillingness to seduce and beguile them. I thought we’d jumped that pond and were settled comfortably on the shores of sexual expressionism.

I’m not going to dive into the meaty goodness that is my article, but I will ask: Do we unwittingly limit our sexual passion when we tie ourselves emotionally to others? Do we, after the ring and kids, lose that burning desire for uninhibited lovin’?

Perhaps it’s not lost at all. Maybe the dry spell occurs without our knowledge because we become so caught up in the quotidian drudgery that makes up every day life with our spouse, we find it difficult to see them (and by proxy ourselves) as the primal beasts we once knew.

Or maybe it’s a sticky combination of things deep fried in a hot vat of WTF...who knows. One thing is certain, the reasons behind ones loss of intimacy are infinite and arbitrary which inherently makes it hard for people on the outside looking in to understand.

In the end, the question is how does one get it back? Or does one really want it back? Wanting intimacy with your spouse is key. If the very thought of your spouse touching you gives you the willies, you might want to sort that roadblock before you move forward.

“It’s not that I don’t want sex or intimacy, I just don’t want it from you.”

Ouch! Yes, those words hurt both the giver and the receiver but if its how the person feels then it’s valid. Admit and validating those feelings are the first steps to getting to the bottom of the problem. Understandably, some aren’t ready to take that step. Besides ‘Hey, little Billy isn’t your son’ or ‘Remember last Christmas at your sister’s house?’ telling your spouse that you no longer want them in an intimate capacity has to be the hardest words to utter.

Fret not; the vacuum created from the inability to face certain areas of one’s relationship is quickly filled by other means. No, not cheating. I’m talking about escapism….aka what pays my bills. Ummm, I’ll say no more.

Once the article is complete, I’ll post it here as well. Goodnight.


BTW, I'll try to write shorter blog post. Sorry....:)

Hello All,

I had a request for pumpkin waffles with vanilla bean butter. You'll find our favorite on the "Foodies" page. I've made a couple of tweaks which I've mentioned. I'll also post the butter recipe later tonight after I've remade it.

Ok, I don't write these things down--I wing it. :)

Chat later!

Good evening folks,

Christopher has posted another poem for your viewing pleasure entitled "Reveal". Next to "Roses of Blue", this is my favorite. He is an amazing scribbler and I hope you enjoy his work as much as I do.

Cheers!