Any Kinkster will tell you setting ground rules and boundaries for role play is critical. Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy, such as no laughing at your partner, and no judging each other in the moment. Other rules will take some thought and good communication.


Sexual role play can be extremely revealing. Some people find themselves (and their inner slut) exposed to the world. This can be both hot and equally terrifying. Setting ground rules is vital to creating safe and comfortable atmosphere free of judgment and ridicule.


Some of these rules merely good judgment and good manners. Here are some basic rules that everyone should be willing to adhere to:


You Wanna Do What?: No judgment and/or laughing. Period! Laughter during a scene equates to being kicked in the balls (or cooter). Game over! Remember what your mother told you: It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. If you’re not ‘feeling’ your hubby’s cowboy fantasy, don’t belittle him. Try to compromise…besides, he may not dig your stripper fantasy. To each his own.

Not So Fast: Listen up, this is the one rule that must be adhered to at all times: Anyone at anytime can stop a scene. Whether you’re creating a Kink or vanilla scene, the rule aforementioned is The Golden Rule. Role play can be intense, and it can stir up deeply rooted never before tapped emotions that may send you running for cover. At any point a participant is uncomfortable or injured, the scene ends and aftercare begins. No if, ands, or buts!

Speak Up: Creating a Safe Word is imperative in Kink however; they can come in handy during vanilla scenes as well (yes, I’ve had to use mine with Greg during vanilla sex. Sadistic bastard). Your safe word is your ‘flag on the play’. Once uttered, the scene ends so choose your safe word carefully. “No”, “More” or “Yes” are horrible safe words! Choose a word that’s completely out of the ordinary….something that has no place in the scene or conversation at all. Good words might be: Peanut butter, Pinto, Egg. Words that have no rhyme or reason work best.


I recommend having a candid conversation with your playmate regarding your boundaries. These questions might help get the banter going:

* What are your limits?
* How far are you willing to go?
* Are there any hard stops (mentally, emotionally, and/or physically)?
* What type of sex did you want?
* How do you see the scene ending? (Some people want a hard end meaning a word that signals the end of a scene   rather then simply falling asleep)


As promised, I would be supplying links to sex shops I adore. You can also order online:

Good Vibrations

V.I.P. Very Intimate Pleasures (no online store but worth the trip)

Classy Corsets (I’m a corset addict!)

Wonderland UK

Lingerie Diva

Erotic Cabaret (Online store is available now)


I had one question come in last night concerning body paint and cunny gels. My answer: If they will be used on your cooter, avoid any products containing sugar. Sugar + Cooter= Agressive Yeast Infection.

Well that's it folks! I hope you’re enjoyed the series and, as always, if you have any questions or comments please let me know. Cheers!
 

Tracy!