Interview With Miss Eliza: The Real "Sydney Cummings"
I want to give our readers a window into your background. Where did you grow up?
I grew up in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn (commonly known as "East New York" on the murder and mayhem portion of the nightly news). I am the eldest of four, and the only daughter.
These days, though, I live and work in Manhattan.
How were you introduced to the Kink community?
I've been combining sex and weirdness/violence for as long as I can remember, but my formal introduction to the "scene" came when I was 22. Before being introduced to the idea of dominants and submissives, whips and chains and such, I just sort of had violent sex: which sometimes meant that I was the one doing the shoving around, or that I was the one being shoved.
I was dating an older man who was sexually adventurous, to say the least, and he started introducing me to the idea of formal Kink. We went to Paddles (an S&M club in Manhattan) and I actually wasn't that keen on it. I had pictured Madonna's "Justify My Love" video, and it was... well, nothing like that. I also felt like I HAD to take on a submissive role, because the stereotype of the dominant woman is a tall, mean woman in a catsuit. (I'm petite and quite sweet, even when I'm being cruel.)
When did you become aware of your very dominant appeal towards men and how did you realize that you have a certain talent to punish them?
After the unsexy party, I didn't really go out to events anymore, and I eventually stopped seeing the aforementioned older man. I played in private with men who were mostly vanilla, but who were more than happy to spank me or tie me up if I asked. I didn't really get into topping again until I decided to try my hand at professional domination. (I'd been a sex worker before then, and thought of it as jumping into another area that I would be more enjoyable because I actually played at home.)
Are there only men who visit you for a punishment, or do you also have females who need an attitude adjustment? Couples?
I would LOVE to play with women and couples. My clients have all been men so far, though.
Under your FAQ's, you mentioned that you absolutely do not race play, Why?
There are some people out there who want to play with me because of my race, under the assumption that I will act in a certain way. Namely, that I will behave like a stereotypical young black woman from the ghetto: neck swivels and all. Instead, they'll find a lapsed English major with a non-regional American accent and a bad habit of overusing "like" in casual conversation.
Back when I worked for a house (under that system, I wasn't able to communicate with clients beforehand), many a racial fetishist's boner was killed when I walked into the room and turned out to be more Huxtable kid than Shanay-nay.
So, I'm simply not what the vast majority of racial fetishists are seeking.
And I don't care to be.
How do you feel Black women whether Top of bottom are represented in Kink?
Most of the time, we aren't represented at all.
When we ARE seen, it's usually through someone else's lens. There's this idea that if you are a black female top, you are naturally more dominant, more sadistic, more animalistic than your white or asian counterparts. It's the old, slavery-era nonsense that claims black women can not be "proper" women: that we're naturally licentious and lacking in femininity. We're also labeled "angry." And the most common troupe attached to us seems to be this idea of "getting revenge on whitey." (As if consensually whipping a random white man will remedy or atone for generation after generation of systematic oppression.)
I feel like black women as bottoms in Kink actually fare better, if only because they don't seem to be presented as often in the mainstream. Most of the black female bottoms I've seen have been in beautiful works created by Darque (a New York photographer). I don't think black female bottoms get much play in mainstream porn sites... partially because most of us don't redden when hit, partially because there's less of a demand (or, at least, that's the assumption) for it.
For me, having to remind people that Kink doesn't equate to sexual intercourse drains me. What are some of the misconceptions concerning Kink do you wish to dispel?
I'm done with the worthless submissive motif. So over it.
Why would I want to play with someone who is without value? I feel like it's an excuse for people (particularly, male people) to not put any effort towards basic things, like dressing up or behaving in a charming manner. If I get all dolled up, take the time to acquire safe and exciting play skills and such, you have to do more than just show up at a party, wearing baggy briefs and begging for my attention. (This goes for both paid and unpaid play.)
I'm not saying that you've got to be an Adonis with a silver tongue. But make yourself presentable and be polite. For some reason, public kinky parties have become a haven for the borderline and anti-social.
Relatedly, I'm over submissives who have nothing in common with me, kink-wise, but think that they should belong to me because they find me attractive. But I think that's more of an overall world issue, since men in everyday life behave the same way.
What have you found most difficult to overcome within the Kink community and were these inspiration behind your project "KinkBoxNYC"? Please help us to understand what "KinkBoxNYC" is about.
I feel like the Kink community is stuck in one mode: whips and chains, leather and strap-ons. I love a bit of leather or latex, don't get me wrong. But I feel like... it's becoming self parody at this point. It's no longer transgressive or shocking. The other day, I watched an incredibly dull pop star performance in which everyone looked like they were on their way to SMACK.
KinkBox would be about exploring a less generic brand of BDSM/Kink. I want to hear from people doing cool, creative things. And I'm interested in presenting Kink in a way that isn't so heavily skewed towards men and what they want to see. Women like sex too! (We just don't tend to go for the crass business men seem happy to consume.)
It's still in the works, but I want KB to include video, written word (fiction and non-fiction), interviews and pictorials. And ultimately, I want to start throwing regular parties with the KB mission in mind: gatherings that are hot and kinky, but also elegant and well-conceived. Just because we're perverts doesn't mean we have to gather in dark basements!
I adore your straight style: no matter what you’re wearing, it’s always clear who’s the boss… what’s your favorite clothing for a punishment session?
It's always changing!
For a while, I was super into lingerie: I got a really cute vintage reproduction piece that I still love, and some other stuff. Then I had a brief flirtation with latex (it ended up being uncomfortable and pricey!) These days, I would say that my fave things to wear are the red spandex outfit pictured on my site, or sexy evening wear.
I'm a little bored with the dungeon atmosphere, so I'm loving playing outside of the studio and cultivating a more naturally sexy ambiance.
Like myself, you also model. Do you think submissives take your size for weakness?
Yes. I've had people lose interest when they realize that I'm petite.
But, y'know, I've found that people who approach me based primarily/solely on my physical self don't make good play partners: they tend to show up with the expectation that a session will be like a live BDSM porn, instead of something that we create together.
So, when someone balks at my size, I don't try to win them over: let 'em go!
Give our readers three little known fact about you.
I have a furniture fetish: I can spend all day in stores or online, browsing mid-century couches, leather loungers or heavy wood desks.
My actual first name is super girly. Like, bouncy aerobics instructor territory.
I have a tiny birthmark in one corner of my upper lip: I think it's super sexy.
I would really like to thank Miss Eliza for her time and hope we'll be hearing from her and KinkBox very soon. For more information of Miss Eliza and KinkBox, please visit her site HERE