Lisa, Mo, Stephanie and Cathy gathered around Paula’s desk, her trembling fingers typed rapidly, desperately trying to locate anyone within Mark’s squadron to brief Colonel Wilson. Finally she reached the flight commander and passed the call to the Colonel’s office.

Everyone stood watching gray smoke bellow from the WTC North tower. Suddenly at 9:03am there was a loud scream as everyone watched a jetliner crash into the South tower sending flames and smoke ripping through air.

The screaming drove the brass from behind closed doors. “Where are Charlie and Shawn?” Colonel Wilson demanded to know, completely out of character—she never referred to uniformed Airmen by their first names. “Who are we missing?”

“Shawn took the briefing at the Pentagon and Charlie is en route to Travis.” Sergeant Hale said.

“Next they’ll begin grounding flights. I have to get them home.” The Colonel thought aloud, her eyes searched the floor for answers. “Paula, call Peggy and have her round up Shawn. If he’s inside of the Pentagon tell him to get out: remove his uniform and put on civilian attire, remove his dog tags, and CAC and AIS Cards and place them in his shoes. He’s to present his credentials only to uniformed service members. He’s to report to Andrews and pickup a government fleet vehicle with GPS tracking. Tony,” she called in his direction. “Be sure he’s tracked until he arrives.” She turned to Sergeant Hale. “How long has Charlie been in the air?”

“Two hours,” Sergeant Hale replied. “He’ll be stopping in Phoenix to refuel within an hour. I’ll catch him there.”

“Good. Patch him through to my direct line once you’ve spoken to him.” Colonel Wilson said as her assistant whispered in her ear and she ran back to her office.

“Ma’am,” Tony stood and called out to her. “Besides, Charlie and Shawn, we are all accounted for.”

Her face drained of color, Stacy sat unmoved the entire time. The ladies gathered around her, assuring her everything would be fine. Stacy didn’t believe a word they said.

At 9:37a.m American Airlines Flight 77 struck the Pentagon. A thick hush enveloped the sea of activity.

Minutes later, Stacy felt Shawn’s presence leave her side. There was no doubt he was gone. She slumped to the floor and was rendered crippled by long gut wrenching tears. She went limp as the ladies attempted to lift her and her belly from the floor. John picked her up and carried her to Major Teasdale’s office where the ladies tended to her. Stacy was inconsolable and rightfully so. Her cries and agonizing screams triggered everyone’s wailing. Paula held and rocked her like a child, she was so fragile.

Overwhelmed, Tess left the room bawling franticly. Lisa, Mo, Cathy and Stephanie remained though they were in no better form. Comforting Stacy in her manic state was futile; she shook violently and repeated, “He's gone! Oh God, he's gone. What am I going to do?”

“Don’t say he’s gone,” Lisa wept. “We don’t know. He may be safe.” Her feign hopefulness was threadbare.

Colonel Wilson burst into the office and kneeled in front of Stacy, taking her hand. “Sweetie, calm down, she said gently. “Think of your babies. We don’t know if Shawn was in the building at the time and we don’t know which corridor he was in. Peggy’s looking for him. We’ll find him.” Her voice cracked.

Stacy’s head shook hysterically and tears streaked down her red face distorted by sheer misery. Her throat was clamped shut and she wasn’t breathing.

“Stephanie, fetch some water,” Colonel Wilson said, motherly. “Stacy, please, I need you to calm down, breathe. We’ll get through this. We’ll bring Shawn home.”

Stacy tried to speak however her words choked and snagged in her throat. “He’s not coming back.” Her entire body shook with heaving tears, her distress was palpable.

Stephanie returned with water and tissues. Colonel Wilson took Paula’s place and saw to Stacy herself.

Paula dashed to call Charlie. He didn’t answer his cell phone the first ten times she called. Finally he answered.

“Hey babe!”

From his upbeat tone, Paula surmised he hadn’t seen the news. “Sergeant Willis, This is Ms. Williams. Please call me from your secure Blackberry.”

Charlie’s stomach fell through the floor as he dialed feverishly.

“Field Assistant Branch. You are on a secure line. This is Ms. Williams,” Paula swallowed her grief long enough to get the call script pass her lips. Charlie replied per protocol. “Please note the following directive from Colonel Wilson: Do not board your flight to California…she read off the Cols. instructions.

“Roger,” Charlie dipped into the airports’ bathroom and immediately began removing his Blues, luckily his carryon was his only bag and he had a spare set of clothing. “Can someone reserve me a vehicle?”

“I’ve taken care of it. Your car is waiting at Luke AFB in the fleet lot, your keys and directions are inside.” She heard a male voice in the background. “Is that Shawn?”

“No, Shawn’s at the Pentagon, why?” he struggled out of his shirt.

Paula took a deep breath. Two jetliners hit the WTC in New York, and one hit the Pentagon minutes later. No one can reach Shawn.”

“What!?” his voice echoed off the walls. “What? When?”

“Just a little while ago, you were in the air when it happened,” Paula said before being interrupted by Janette. “Oh my God, another plane just crashed in Pennsylvania.” Paula covered her mouth. “Oh. My. God.”

“Is my mom safe?”

“Yes, I spoke to her earlier.”

Charlie went into Airman Mode. “Call my mom, have her contact anyone she knows inside of the Pentagon, and tell her that I’m alright but Shawn is missing.”

“I’m way ahead of you. We’re awaiting news.”

A noisy group of men entered the bathroom as Charlie was leaving. “Paula, I have to go. I’ll call you once I’m on the road.”

Relieved to hear his voice, she didn’t want to let him go. She wept into the phone.

“Stop crying. I’m alright. We have to find Shawn. I’m fine—I’ll be home soon. Please don’t cry. I love you.”

“I love you too. Please just…just get home.”

“I’m on my way. I have to go.” He darted through the crowded terminals and caught a cab to the base. The base was on lockdown and Charlie waited nearly two hours to enter. After securing his vehicle, he contacted his mother and Colonel Wilson. His last call was to Paula as he began the long drive home.

He called Paula throughout the night for any news on Shawn’s’ whereabouts. His optimism began to fade when Shawn hadn’t been located after twelve hours. Charlie called his cell phone, it rang but there was no answer. If Shawn were safe he would have called someone.

Charlie knew Shawn was died.

His emotions were too raw. He couldn’t manage them all at once so he numbed them. He was impervious to everything around him…the car must have driven itself because he had no recollection of manning it. He remembered praying for strength and forgiveness. He remembered praying that Shawn had been taken quickly and hadn’t suffered.

But beyond those memories, there were none of his drive home.

                                     ******

Being closest to the base, everyone gathered at Paula’s house and kept vigil throughout the night. She took in the children of other servicemen who were called to 24 hour duty—some she knew only in passing from Sarah’s daycare. Nevertheless, their parents needed assistance and she opened her doors. Cathy and Stephanie cooked dinner while Mo and Lisa saw to Stacy. The men were called to duty and popped in and out as time permitted. Predictably, Sarah managed the children and kept them occupied until bedtime.

Around 3am, Paula tip-toed through the living room overflowing with sleeping bags filled with slumbering children. She checked each one as though they were her own. Looking at their innocent faces, she wondered what type of world they would inherit; a civilization where the rules of engagement were ignored for martyrdom was no civilization. She knew war would follow and they would be its beneficiaries. It would be up to them to sort out this mess.

Paula joined the ladies crammed in her bed with Stacy squashed between them.

“Paula,” Stacy said faintly. “Be honest, do you think Shawn is alive?”

How could she answer the question? “I don’t know, Stacy. He may be amongst the injured and he can’t make contact.”

Stacy didn’t reply immediately. “No, he’s dead. If he were injured, he would’ve found a way to communicate. You know him; he would’ve called.” She rolled over into Paula’s arms.

Hours later the phone rang bringing everyone to a start. Paula answered and took the call in her office.

“Paula, it’s me, Peggy,” her voice was shaky with exhaustion. “Are you sitting down?”

Paula sat hard in her chair and came unglued.

“I’m sorry. Shawn didn’t make it, he’s dead. They identified his body this morning. I shouldn’t be telling you this but I can’t reach Colonel Wilson or the First Sergeant. I need you….”

Paula couldn’t hear anything except the blood rushing in her ears and she couldn’t breathe. Her chest heaved and heart folded onto itself. Somehow she managed to walk downstairs and handed the phone to Tony before she fainted. Stacy, grief-stricken and heartbroken, was admitted into the hospital within the hour.

Like dominos, they all collapsed—men and women; the strong and the fragile alike. They all would fall. Linguistic prose fails to describe the emotional meltdown which followed. Crippling devastation puts it best.

Charlie wouldn’t be notified until he arrived home safely the following day.