Alright, you guys are probably aware that I’ve been very sick with the flu for the past week. Today I ventured out to the doctor’s office. Bad idea! I’m so not a nicy-nice sick person. I’m more of a “Stay away and don’t freakin’ touch me” type.


Which is the springboard for this twisted tale….


The list of characters:
The mouthy receptionist
Co-dependant Greenwich mom
Badass Doe-eyed kid
….and me…full blown SICK

Setting:
Posh Greenwich doctor’s office, midday


I get to my doctor’s office 20 minutes before my appointment, sign-in at the front desk and quickly take a seat because I’m dizzy. To my right I spot a brat…no kidding a full on Greenwich brat. To my left being coddled by his “Stepford Wife” mom, a doe-eyed brat.


A quick note: I’m a cute kid magnet! They love me and I love them…under the right conditions. So……


I move across the room. The doe-eyed kid follows. I move again. He follows and looks up at me smiling. I inform his mother, who looks medicated to the bejesus, that I have a terrible flu and that it might be best if little Timmy backs the fuck up.


She smiles, but doesn’t call off the hound.


He props his head on his hands and smiles up at me.


I go to the receptionist; pleading for her to rid me of this gentle-eyed menace before I, inadvertently, take his freakin’ life. Now, I should have found the lack eye contact tad disconcerting but I pleaded nonetheless.

She said the doctor would be with me in a second and please have a seat. So I do…and again the kid returns.


Does his mom not see that I’m clearly sick? Does she not care about the welfare of her child? What sort of blind ambivalence has sucked this woman in?


I’m cutting this story short because I’m rather dizzy again.


Fast Forward:
The kid and I end up in my doctor’s examination room together because he refuses to leave my side and, apparently, he is the boss of me!!


I get my Rx and pay my co-pay. Did I mention the kid was still by my side? Yeah, he’s still there holding my hand, the little doe-eyed freak, I love this kid! I don’t know him but I love him. He made my doctor visit ten times easier.


We parted ways and I felt a little empty. Too bad his mom is vacant. She has no idea how great her kid is.