Hey everyone!

I would have replied directly to Tracy under her comments on her blog post, but I knew that my response would be lengthy.

Here goes:

I am a big believer that your children are not you, they just come through you.  So I really work hard not to go completely crazy about them or not wrap my life around them.  I don't want to sound cold, because I adore my kids.  It's a trip to see little people who have same warped humor and watch their minds percolating. 

I think what childbirth really represents is the first big step by your child makes toward another series of steps in walking away from you. Making anyone, who instinctively needs to find their own way, your whole life seems like a bad bet to me. And that is not a bad thing, I think, I hope.  I want my four boys to be their own person, have their own interests, create their own opinions and manage their own life.  I feel I have to model that myself.

So in my house my boys see that mom does a lot of things that don't necessarily revolve around them.  I know that, in a flash, my sons will be getting in to relationships and I pray that I have laid the groundwork for them to pick mates or partners that are emotionally healthy, can hold their own ground, and are independent of them.  I believe that they will only recognize those traits in their partners if they have seen their parents model it themselves.

Thanks Tracy for this topic.  Sometimes, especially where I live, you feel bad when your every interest is not wrapped up in your children.  You get among some other mothers and the only topic of conversation is bragging on your kids, new recipes, housecleaning, afterschool programs, athletics-that makes my head want to explode.  Hey, I like bragging on my kids, but look the oldest is only eight-I've got dust bunnies in my closet older than that kid.  As a topic of conversation he is good for about 20 minutes tops. 

That is why IRE.net is so valuable.  It helps me remember that I am a woman, that I have a libido (four boys and  a husband sometimes kills that), hopes, dreams and desires.  I need that and often I need to be reminded of it.

Well, before I turn your site into "Motherhood Magazine," I will stop my rant!