You Don't Know Me Like That!
- By Tracy Ames
- Published November 22, 2009
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
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You know what folks? I’m really starting to believe that some people really don’t “know” me. I began posting TMI in an effort to allow my readers closer to me---to get to know me beyond my writing.
- I’m a computer geek
- I have a killer shoe fetish
- I’m a wife and mother
- I’m a history buff
- I have a taste for the eccentric
For the most part it has worked! We have very open and captivating tête-à-têtes here on the blog.
However, I don’t think some people “get” me. There is more to me than what I write. I say this because recently I’ve been approached with some less than gentlemanly request. I understand that lewd propositions are par for the course given my respective genre however there’s a hardwired line of respect one should take note of.
Just because I write sexually explicit fiction doesn’t mean I want you. To put it bluntly, I don’t want anyone besides Greg. Making sexually suggestive comments the topic of ALL conversation with a female isn’t the way to her heart. The way to a woman’s heart is in stimulating her intellect not her groin. Yeah, she may give you some meaningless flirtation but little else. And you can forget about sex, it’s never going to happen!
My point is this:
I’m not in a perpetual state of “wanting it” from random men. I find it insulting when people fail to read my bio and then continually come at me with sexually repulsive communication. I’m not opposed to corresponding with male readers however that’s where it ends. If I have to tell you twice to back off, you will loose the privilege of addressing me, period! Access to me isn’t your right regardless of my profession. It’s a privilege that if abused will be stripped.
A few weeks ago I wrote, “My beautiful does not lie between my thighs” on my FB wall after receiving a rude request. To my surprise, a group of loyal readers plastered my saying on their T-shirts, lol. Thanks ladies…the shirts look awesome!
- I’m a computer geek
- I have a killer shoe fetish
- I’m a wife and mother
- I’m a history buff
- I have a taste for the eccentric
For the most part it has worked! We have very open and captivating tête-à-têtes here on the blog.
However, I don’t think some people “get” me. There is more to me than what I write. I say this because recently I’ve been approached with some less than gentlemanly request. I understand that lewd propositions are par for the course given my respective genre however there’s a hardwired line of respect one should take note of.
Just because I write sexually explicit fiction doesn’t mean I want you. To put it bluntly, I don’t want anyone besides Greg. Making sexually suggestive comments the topic of ALL conversation with a female isn’t the way to her heart. The way to a woman’s heart is in stimulating her intellect not her groin. Yeah, she may give you some meaningless flirtation but little else. And you can forget about sex, it’s never going to happen!
My point is this:
I’m not in a perpetual state of “wanting it” from random men. I find it insulting when people fail to read my bio and then continually come at me with sexually repulsive communication. I’m not opposed to corresponding with male readers however that’s where it ends. If I have to tell you twice to back off, you will loose the privilege of addressing me, period! Access to me isn’t your right regardless of my profession. It’s a privilege that if abused will be stripped.
A few weeks ago I wrote, “My beautiful does not lie between my thighs” on my FB wall after receiving a rude request. To my surprise, a group of loyal readers plastered my saying on their T-shirts, lol. Thanks ladies…the shirts look awesome!
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15 Responses to "You Don't Know Me Like That!" 
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 7:42:46 AM CDT
Sigh. I'm not surprised, Tracy. Are you?. I have nothing else to add as I really will come across as sexist and I don't want you to feel force to censor my comment.
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 8:44:06 AM CDT
I'm not surprised but I don't think some men get it. I understand that people will always make lewd advances given the genre as a whole but it becauses annoying and increasingly vulgar after a while.
Speak your mind. |
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 9:48:14 AM CDT
I was wondering about how much of that you're subjected to but I never asked. Now I know you get enough to piss you off.
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 7:21:09 PM CDT
You should have asked! I can tell you horror stories. My creepy experience goes from the stalker that tracked down my daughter's school to the "I want to be deep inside of you" emails.
The stalker guy freaked me out because he lived in NYC, too close. Greg was working a case in DC when it happened. I grabbed my kid and we got the hell out of NYC and came to Greenwich because the house has a tall security wall with cameras. Greg had his tail-wagger (juniors) issue a RO until he returned. That was scary |
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 11:09:12 AM CDT
I confess Oh Dear Author"ity" of this site that success love success but there is nearly 4 billion of women on earth, even if I'am a mix of DiCaprio & Pitt...lol...but suit this thema site : I wish to become a cool/hot/good writer one day...
So of course it's only your style of writing about the thema that could help to power inspiration in a writing action new project for me...but one question if possible : does it You on the feet/kink shoes pictures post on here...!?!or an other one voluntary readeress or writeress.....lol |
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 6:25:27 PM CDT
Shut up , Bill! LOL! I know you wouldn't cross the line with a lady even if you were a cross between DiCaprio and Pit. You're French...you'd just write her poems....:)
And no, that's not me in the sexy shoe photo. I wish it were, those shoe are amazing. See, I told you I have a shoe fetish |
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 12:16:36 PM CDT
In the words of Facebook...Like!
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 6:19:47 PM CDT
LOL, Pam you kill me! "Like"...I'll have to remember that one.
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 7:02:45 PM CDT
Yeah, I know I am addicted to facebook and online reading as well...I read something sometimes and am disappointed when I can't just hit the "like" button :=D.
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said this on 23 Nov 2009 7:22:19 AM CDT
Pam, you're a mess! It would be nive to have a "like" button to carry around with you. Instead of saying thank you to your waiter you could simply hit the "like" button. No room for error...:)
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 6:39:17 PM CDT
I know the type. I don't understand how some of them can be so blind. I mean, this stuff is hardwired, right?...like personal space. You just know this stuff.
Most of my close friends are men or women who think like men (not the stupid ones). For a shining example of how men should carry themselves, I look to my dad and my brothers. A woman would be lucky to snag one of them. Educated to the nuts, handsome, hardworking and gentlemanly. Good job mom and dad! |
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said this on 22 Nov 2009 10:34:23 PM CDT
My dear Tracy,
I feel your pain. LOL! I have received a few solicitations myself. I guess because I am single (but not for long...) and people see that as a "Now Open for Business" sign. Most of them I laugh off and a few I have shuddered at. Now while some flirtation is welcome, I will cut you off if you get out of line. I have a very strict line when it comes to respect. Simply put, if you don't have it for me, you don't stand a chance. When you get that "strange" person who thinks he can take it to another level just because of the "subject" matter I choose to write about...well it makes me want to take advantage of my license to carry a concealed weapon. As most of the readers and participants of IE know, I can flirt with the best of them but that is where it usually ends. For the "exception" of the one person (and he is aware of who he is) whom I "flirt" with daily, I have absolutely no interest in taking it beyond that. As they say, it is all in good fun... Don't overstep your boundaries because of a lack of mental sanity. It isn't attractive on any level. |
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said this on 23 Nov 2009 7:33:07 AM CDT
I'm hitting the "like" button but you can't see me. :)
Flirting is one thing but out right disrespect is another. I get some real class acts. Like you said it's a matter of respect. My friend Matt had to get in some dude's crap because of the way he was treating me. Matt says to the guy, "If you don't want me threatening your life then don't act like an asshole." Girl I cried laughing. Now I took one of the guys with me when I go out for signing events. |
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said this on 23 Nov 2009 10:48:06 PM CDT
Hilarious! I always joke with my brother about using him as a "bodyguard" for my book signings. If you saw him you would know why. He is one of the men that will make you think twice about trying anything while you back up a step or two. If I didn't think he would kill me, I would share a pic or two...LOL! Fortunately, I tend to find places that have pretty tight security as it is.
But it scary as hell to think someone tracked you down like that. I mean seriously! That would have had me in fits! Some people need to be locked up for their own good... |
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said this on 23 Nov 2009 11:32:08 AM CDT
Tracy, I'm sorry you have to go through this type of stupidity.
But I personally believe that despite the genre you should be addressed with respect period. Thats just my outlook on it. |
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