Reflecting On Manure and Finding That Someone
- By Tracy Ames
- Published September 10, 2010
Tracy Ames
Mrs. Ames is an international bestselling author of interracial erotic fiction and a former columnist for several newsletters and magazines.
A native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Tracy currently split time between CT & New York City with her husband, children and a host of pets.
*NEWER* Leather & Lace Tumblr(NSFW)
*NEW* RR&R Tumblr (Safe)
Youtube
Facebook
Myspace
Pardon my emo moment. *Fans Eyes*
My very dear friend is finally going to marry her long sought honey. She's kissed swaths of toads in her life, but something clicked with this guy. It's what Greg and I call that "Yeah man" moment.
It's that moment when your knee-jerk loathing for the opposite sex is disembodied by the catharsis of "The One". It's a literal feeling of something being shed, stripped away-it's physical. Not in the shirt ripping Care Bear Stare sort of way…it's like a weight is being lifted.
It's almost spiritual in the sense that you're grateful for having gone through heartbreak and loneliness to find this person. It's then that you can reflect on the maelstroms of manure that were your past relationships and say "Thank you (insert exs name here) for preparing me for the love I deserve."
You see, love doesn't happen in a vacuum. In my opinion it's our suffering that makes us reprioritize our desires by holding up a mirror to our vanities, it opens our hearts, and makes finding that special someone extraordinary. But what do I know…
I'm so happy for my girl and her "Yeah man" moment. She couldn't have chosen a better man. Now I get to plan another wedding, yay!
For you other brides (also good for those planning any function), here's a REAL blog that'll give you great affordable classy ideas. This is coming from a woman who hates wedding blogy sites because regular folks can't afford diamond-encrusted napkin rings. But this blog is inspirational if nothing else. It saved my brother Stan's wedding more than once and my Aunts used them when planning our family reunion.
Good luck!
This is why I didn't have a photo booth at my wedding......
My very dear friend is finally going to marry her long sought honey. She's kissed swaths of toads in her life, but something clicked with this guy. It's what Greg and I call that "Yeah man" moment.
It's that moment when your knee-jerk loathing for the opposite sex is disembodied by the catharsis of "The One". It's a literal feeling of something being shed, stripped away-it's physical. Not in the shirt ripping Care Bear Stare sort of way…it's like a weight is being lifted.
It's almost spiritual in the sense that you're grateful for having gone through heartbreak and loneliness to find this person. It's then that you can reflect on the maelstroms of manure that were your past relationships and say "Thank you (insert exs name here) for preparing me for the love I deserve."
You see, love doesn't happen in a vacuum. In my opinion it's our suffering that makes us reprioritize our desires by holding up a mirror to our vanities, it opens our hearts, and makes finding that special someone extraordinary. But what do I know…
I'm so happy for my girl and her "Yeah man" moment. She couldn't have chosen a better man. Now I get to plan another wedding, yay!
For you other brides (also good for those planning any function), here's a REAL blog that'll give you great affordable classy ideas. This is coming from a woman who hates wedding blogy sites because regular folks can't afford diamond-encrusted napkin rings. But this blog is inspirational if nothing else. It saved my brother Stan's wedding more than once and my Aunts used them when planning our family reunion.
Good luck!
This is why I didn't have a photo booth at my wedding......
Spread The Word
7 Responses to "Reflecting On Manure and Finding That Someone" 
|
said this on 10 Sep 2010 6:37:35 AM CDT
That's great story Tracy. Much like my own, I always say that if I hadn't married my ex-husband and spent that time with him, learning about me and what I really needed, yes if I hadn't spent those years with my awful ex, I would have never known what it truly meant to be loved and cherished by someone and I wouldn't have been prepared to appreciate it and treat it as the blessing and gift it is. When I met Matt my life was already cake, but he came along and it was like getting ice cream n the side, still good but now so much better LOL.
Thanks for the blog, my sister in law is helping me because goodness gracious all this girly planning stuff is not my thing. And for a little wedding on the lake with 50 guests, this is getting complex. But hopefully, the pics will be good so I can share them. |
Author/Admin)|
said this on 10 Sep 2010 7:48:31 AM CDT
See, you had a "Yeah man" moment! When our exs hurt us, we need to stop and thank them because they've took the first step in proving you weren't meant for one another. The next step is yours: Sit around blaming them for your unhappiness or accept the pain and use it for your own growth and awareness. Figure you out; what was your role in all of this? Blame is easy....self-reflection isn't.
It's like my parents taught us: Don't allow your happiness to depend on other's behavior. |
|
said this on 10 Sep 2010 6:41:14 PM CDT
Although he was bad husband, I never blamed him for the end of the marriage. It needed to end and you're right I had to take some time for introspection to figure out what was going with me and why I kept picking these sorts of guys because if I hadn't I would be picking him again in another body with a different face LOL. I do thank him, he's still mad and can't seem to move on but that's his problem not mine. And yes it was a 'yeah man' moment. I was afraid that every relationship I would have after the break up of my marriage would be drama but when Matt came along I found that, yes, love and being loved could feel good and not come with pain. One of our first arguments, I came to his house and to apologize to me he bought me a dozen roses, I told my best friend about it because I was completely taken aback. She told me 'that's what a man is supposed to do, omg you've been treated bad so long you may not know you deserve to be treated good.' I cried and cried about that, I cried for what I had let myself be reduced to but after that I smiled because I knew what was going to happen in this good functional relationship, I'd be loved and appreciated. Oh it just such an awesome feeling. And I cannot wait to be married, not have the wedding, I CANNOT wait to be married to this man and I never felt that with my ex-husband.
|
|
said this on 11 Sep 2010 4:18:10 AM CDT
Eugenia that's such a sweet story. I’m still trying to get the manure smell as well as the left over crap off my shoe of life. Relationships- they bring the best or worst out of you. I have allowed my ex and the everything assosicated with him and my marriage to turned me completely off of British men, especially the English and Scots oh and all Catholics.
|
|
said this on 11 Sep 2010 6:25:42 PM CDT
Judy, I know the feeling. The crap is on your shoe but you can learn from that crap and one of the best things you can learn is what you DON'T want. You may not be positive about what you do, but at least you're learning what you don't. Don't worry, if you take the lessons then you don't have to repeat them :)
|
|
said this on 10 Sep 2010 8:08:24 AM CDT
Yeah, Yeah. I will keep my head up and hope for the best for now on. I'm meeting more frogs than anything right. Makes me feel like a failure. Right now, I think I just need a break for now. :D
|
|
said this on 10 Sep 2010 8:37:56 AM CDT
Take a break. Sort everything out and come back to the table fresh and ready to go. But not finding that someone doesn't make you a failure. You fail when you don't get up. :)
|